Ah, the fruit of temptation falls at your feet, and you want to pick it up and take a bite.
Narcissists place that temptation at your feet, and make sure you notice it. That’s when their victims succeed in being ensnared by the illusion of so many aspects of your relationship with them.
But enough is enough.
You want answers, and you want them fast.
Avoiding further temptation will prevent your heart from hurting, and I’m here for that.
Let’s get started on stepping away!
I Get It…
Narcissists by definition are incredibly tempting people.
You start by hanging off every word they say – after all – they make each sound sound so sweet.
After that, you’re hooked. It’s like you have a lifetime supply of charm at your fingertips, and someone to tell you how wonderful and loved you really are.
Except, well, that last part never lasts long, and it’s never genuine.
And you? Well, you love it. You love the way this person who has it all makes you feel.
You’re like a moth circling a flame, and you can’t break free from that high level magnetism.
From The Start, They’re So Tempting
It’s the game all narcissists play from the very first smile. I fully understand why you may struggle to see it any other way. I mean, we all want love.
We all love that initial feeling when you meet somebody new, and it’s all exciting and all these promises are made.
You have no idea you’re about to be locked up in this emotional prison, but you know what?
The best way to keep a person from escaping prison is to make them feel like they aren’t in prison.
That’s what it feels like when all the abuse thrown at you is surrounded by fragmented pieces of love, and breadcrumbs of affection.
You get blindsided by their temporary compliments or kindness, and that temptation keeps victims returning for more.
Tempted By Fake Love
I’ll call it what it is for you guys, because it’s the only way you’re going to really see the narcissist’s character honestly:
Their love is fake. Their promises are empty and calculated. They manipulate you so that you believe what they tell you, and forget what you believe.
The fake love reels people in, and I wonder if you can resonate with that in some way. That magical moment when you feel like you’ve truly met somebody who makes you feel like never before.
To be fully aware that being in their presence exceeds all other people you’ve met and ‘though you’ve loved.’
And here you are – with what can only be described as the perfect person – tempted by their lies and twisted games. These are designed to keep you from breathing in your own reality, so you can fall under their spell – and control.
Lowering Your Standards
The closer the narcissist gets to your heart, the more they will try and reshape it.
Whatever you keep in it will change. How you feel about yourself, what you believe to be good and true, how much potential you have, and how you bring happiness to others will all change.
What this does, is lower your standards. You drop a boundary here and there, and the narcissist won’t miss a beat.
When they spot this self-abandonment within you, they will start ripping other boundaries down too.
And make no mistake.
They won’t stop.
But go back to the first sentence of this section…
The closer the narcissist gets to your heart.
The temptation they give you so that you freely do this is beyond toxic to me.
It’s a completely false sense of security that you live in, and how that remains alive is down to how powerfully you’re pulled into their energy.
I know it seems so easy to say, but giving yourself fully to somebody without logically considering moving too fast or too intense is only going to end in disaster.
It’s tempting when they come along and make you feel so special, but that’s where the toxicity thrives.
It’s false.
Stop Trying to Change Them
It’s equally important to try not to change the narcissist, as tempting as it may be. I have said this probably hundreds of times to various people in my life, but I will write it for you:
It is not your responsibility to improve the traits of others. You cannot redeem somebody else’s bad behavior through your own self.
Narcissists don’t put in work
Hold Back On Your Heart
It’s so easy, isn’t it? The narcissist looks at you with their lovelorn eyes and listens to every single word you have to say.
Before you know it, you have shared and overshared everything within the first few weeks, even days after you have known them.
Feeling heard may not be something you’re used to experiencing, and as you do, those voids you’ve lived with forever are beginning to fill.
You know the ones:
- Having to fight for somebody’s attention
- Feeling neglected growing up or in the more recent past
- Feeling low in self-esteem and self-confidence
- Feeling as though your voice doesn’t matter
Now, suddenly, it does. And you love sharing all your secrets and vulnerabilities with somebody falling head over heels for you.
You feel the same, I bet!
There comes a point, though, where everything you disclose will be used against you. The narcissist will remember it all so that someday, someday, they can break you in those exact ways.
It’s tempting to sound off and pour out your heart – but I advise you seriously – don’t.
The Waiting Game: Pointless
I’ll keep this one short…
…Stop waiting for the narcissist to change!
Unlike trying to change them, you simply wait for their promises to turn into action.
They won’t.
They never have, they never will.
It’s Tempting to Blame Yourself!
We need to have a serious conversation if you are really blaming yourself for all of this.
What am I doing wrong?
Why do I keep making them cross?
Why can’t I just do what they ask, and this would never happen.
No!
Narcissists move goalposts for this reason – so you’re never right, and nothing is ever good enough!
Don’t be tempted to blame yourself for their toxic traits. They were born that way, and they will likely die that way.
That’s not on you.
Goodbye To Second Chances
I promise I’ll be better.
I’ve changed.
I’ll do better.
I know myself more now.
Don’t ever imagine giving the narcissist a second chance will result in a brand new chapter for you.
They have not reflected.
They will never establish blame.
The temptation exists because you still feel attached to whatever they brought to the table – albeit temporarily and falsely.
Say goodbye to second chances, and give yourself a new lease of life.
