Narcissists love and adore attention, and guess what?
Social media is their playground!
It’s honestly the perfect stage for them.
This is why I predict there’s a narcissist in your life who is plain old obsessed with scrolling, clicking, watching, following, and liking.
What’s behind it all, though?
I mean – What is the addiction here?
Let’s take a look, and find out!
What Exactly Does Social Media Give The Narcissist?
You’ve seen it before, haven’t you? This undeniable, insatiable need for the narcissist to be scrolling.
They don’t even know what they’re looking at or for exactly – but they can be known to do it for hours at a time every single day.
I don’t know exactly what narcissists did before the internet, but I do know they use it as much as they watch it.
With the ability to watch endless reels and videos or see photos, updates, posts, comments, likes, angry reactions, and virtual arguments, it’s heaven!
Narcissists thrive on the very thing social media offers – attention of any kind.
The more they use it – the worse they will be!
Likes
Who doesn’t like to share things with their friends and families? Maybe some good news, or a sweet first-day school photo of their child. It’s all done in innocence and to bring people together.
I know my own friends and family like to see what their loved ones do, or any heartwarming updates.
But social media can harbor dark undertones, especially when narcissists start getting their content online.
How many likes can I get?
How many likes does this latest photo have?
Why don’t I have enough likes?
People will love this update – I can’t wait to check for likes!
Likes determine how liked they are – so they are in constant battle for as many as possible!
Followers
Followers are a direct indication of how interesting their social media accounts are. That can be where narcissists upload what entices followers.
This might include a lavish lifestyle or suggestive photos that gain attention from admirers. They also show off directly, taking impressive photos of travel, their job, or home.
With the right hashtags, all these kinds of photos draw in people in their hundreds, maybe even thousands.
That is of great interest to the narcissist – and their obsession to get, for example, 15k followers by the end of the year will be in full flow until their goal is met.
The more they get, the more loved they feel!
False Validation
That’s all it comes down to, isn’t it?
People you mostly don’t know make comments about you as if they have the right to and allow those comments to affect you either positively or negatively.
For us normal folk, we post because we enjoy it, and enjoy sharing our lives on a small scale. For narcissists, anything positive reeks of false validation.
But hey, if you’re a narcissist, any validation is good!
The Compellingly Crafted Image
Putting content online involves carefully crafting and choosing what you constitute shareable.
You’ll always get those who share everything, but narcissists give more thought to what they decide to put out there.
They know better to put online that they’re going for a walk because they’re angry, or repost memes that may signal conflict at home.
Narcissists will produce an image to the public that seals them as brilliant people. This might look like:
- Putting loving messages up for their spouse or children
- Tagging their spouse in love songs, or suggestions for places to eat
- Taking photos of dates, extremely expensive holidays, or days out
- Sharing their best news, such as job promotions, any material item they think would make others jealous, or winning a competition
- Links to fundraising pages and news of a ‘new challenge they are undertaking’ for said charity. This is frequent, and goes beyond the humanistic desire to do good. This is to be seen to do good.
- Any weight loss or fitness goals reached
- How much of a family person they are, and conveying that to the world
It’s hard to argue with somebody who seems to be so kind, giving, loyal and loving, right?
Well, that’s in part why they do it. If you can make people believe something about you to be true, then social media is how you drip feed that belief into masses of people.
Think about all those narcissistic celebrities who came across as wholesome online, only for the world to find out about a seedy affair, or abuse, or worse! It’s shocking because nobody suspected them.
“I Need Your Feed!”
As obsessive as narcissists are about putting their own content online, they’re also completely obsessed with other people’s feeds.
They don’t have to be famous or even know anybody personally, but if a feed gives them vibes, they won’t stop looking.
Narcissists are scrolling in search of:
- Lifestyles they wish they had
- Physical image ideas
- What people they know have been doing in their spare time, so they can somewhat compete with, or complain about
- Content that draws in followers and likes, so they can imitate it in their own way
- Obsessively wanting to somehow be part of people’s lives so they can pretend they know them, and what they’ve been up to
- Generally being nosey. They’re that entitled, they want to know everything about everybody
- So they can throw certain aspects of other’s accounts back in your face. “I see so and so could afford a holiday this year. Perhaps we could if you stopped spending so much money.” – and more words or accusations to that effect.
Comparisons: Reasons Not To Be Cheerful
We all know that comparison is the thief of joy. Why would we want to compare ourselves to others, when we all lead completely different lives?
I don’t see the attraction in wanting what somebody else has. Maybe it’s not my time. Perhaps they worked hard for it and have saved for years. Maybe sometimes, that’s just how it goes.
I accept that. And I certainly don’t have much to complain about because I love my life.
That comes from being grateful and making smart choices that draw things to me that make my life complete.
Narcissists aren’t about that. They see social media as an opportunity to feed themselves more of that self-hatred.
How dare they have what I want?
How can this be possible?
That is so unfair!
All it does is fuel them up more and more.
Secret Control: Watch Out
I can’t let this go without mentioning the dreaded ‘C’ word…
Narcissists love control. They want to know what you and everybody else they know are up to so they feel they have some control over it.
The Ex
What are they doing without me? How are they coping? Do they look terrible? Are they having a hard time? Are they happy?!
Obsessing over the social media accounts of an ex is commonplace for narcissists – that’s why you’re told to block, block, block!
You
What are you up to? Who are your coworkers? What do you do in the gym? Why are you late? Who is that guy or girl in the background? Why do you go to that coffee place every day? Who works there that you like?
It’s incessant – and the more you share, the more they have to spy on and criticize. They spend hours a day doing this.
You have been warned!
