Q: My partner has a friend that is a total,narcissistic-know it all-control freak. Its like discovering this is something, I cannot &”Unlearn”. We socialize with this person, I told my partner that I do not wish to be around this abusive person anymore. My partner thinks I am being ridiculous, says everyone has this in them. I run the gamut of finding this person laughable or the feeling of resentment of being treated like I am nothing. I do not want to spend time with this person, but my partner wants me to ie like going to dinner etc. This person is so mean, nasty and manipulative. Insulting people actually relaxes him. He also lies about his age- says he 15 years younger than he is,a real joy he is ! Let me know if I should just walk away from this person and let my partner do things with this person without me?
A: I would recommend exactly that- let him go alone. If for whatever strange reason your partner enjoys his company, let the two of them do things together. Unless he was your partner’s boss, there is no reason why you should have to socialize with him or tolerate his abuse and/or treating you like you were insignificant. I also would keep my eyes open as far as your partner is concerned- it is a red flag to me that he finds this behavior normal and feels that everyone “has this inside them”.