Q: My narcissistic husband left 3 months ago and after a week moved in with woman. He won’t admit he’s having an affair with her, though he had one with someone else 4 years ago. Why would he deny it and say he sleeps on the couch? Her ex-husband lives there also and there’s a pool and hot tub. People are in and out all the time. He has little to no responsibilities. When will reality catch up with him?
A: Whose reality…yours or his? If you mean when will reality as you know it catch up with him, the answer is probably never. Narcissists have their own self-centered reality that emphasizes that the world revolves around them. I am sorry to say that more than likely he is living in a wonderful world for a narcissist. It sounds like he has many new people to try and charm as well as no responsibilities. As long as this continues (and he gets Supply from the people and other woman), he will be happy. At some point the other woman will probably start putting pressure on for him to help with responsibilities and perhaps then he may decide that his old responsibilities were easier to do (or not do) than his new responsibilities. Why would he lie about sleeping with her? There may be two reasons for that: because generally narcissists are pathological liars, and he most likely knows that he would not get any more Narcissistic Supply from you if he told you he was sleeping with her. He wants to keep all sources of Supply available. Narcissists frequently return to old sources of Supply when their new sources don’t provide enough or take too much energy.