My Husband Looks At Other Females On Instagram WHY?

Last Updated on April 7, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

“My husband looks at other females on Instagram” is a common complaint amongst women. Are you feeling disrespected and insecure because your husband always looks at other women on Instagram?

Have you checked his account and discovered he follows a load of hot women who look nothing like you? Not only does he follow them, he comments on their scantily clad photos, letting them know he finds them attractive! Or even worse, he’s sending some of these women private messages trying to arrange a hook-up! 

Having a husband who doesn’t know how to keep his eyes to himself can be hurtful and embarrassing, especially on social media platforms where everyone can see what photos you comment on and like.

There are several reasons why your husband looks at other women on Instagram, such as something innocent like he’s getting ideas to buy you a present, he just likes looking at beautiful women, or he might have an addiction to looking at beautiful women.

As hurtful as it may be for your husband to act this way, there is a solution to this problem. If you’re fed up of asking the question why does my husband looks at other females on Instagram? Keep reading to find out why, and what you can do about it.

Why is my Husband or Boyfriend Looking at Other Females on Instagram?

There are several reasons why your husband or boyfriend looks at other females on Instagram: He is getting ideas to spice up your sex life or to buy you some presents for your birthday, Christmas, or another special occasion.

Men are visually stimulated, and they enjoy looking at attractive women. Or it may be for more sinister reasons, such as his addiction to looking at sexually explicit images.

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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My Husband Looks At Other Females On Instagram

Here are five reasons why your husband or boyfriend is looking at other women on Instagram:

#1 He is Getting Ideas

The reason your husband or boyfriend looks at women on Instagram could be totally innocent. He might be planning on spicing up your sex life, and to do so, he is looking at the underwear, clothes, and makeup women wear so he can buy them for you.

Or he could be getting ideas so he can buy you something nice for your birthday, your anniversary, or another special occasion. Instead of asking friends or family for help, he goes to Instagram to find what he wants.

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#2 Men Are Visually Stimulated

If your partner’s oogling were to happen in front of you, this would be the typical scenario. You’re out at a bar or restaurant with your husband or boyfriend having a great evening.

An attractive woman walks by, and you notice he’s focused his attention on her and not you. His head turns in her direction, and he gazes over her ample breasts and slender physique. Now, he’s killed the vibe. Every negative emotion surges through your body, and you start feeling insecure, jealous, and angry.

To make matters worse, she doesn’t look anything like you. You have small breasts; she has large ones.

You’ve got some meat on your bones; she’s slender. She has blonde hair; you’re a brunette. Now you’re wondering whether your man is no longer attracted to you and finds other women more appealing. 

Why does he act this way in front of you? Because men like looking at beautiful women even when they are married to a beautiful woman.

Your man isn’t looking because he’s a womanizer, a cheater, or a player. He’s looking because that’s what ALL men do. Oogling women is not limited to a certain type of man.

Your partner might be completely in love with you and wouldn’t dream of hurting you by having a physical relationship with another woman.

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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But because it’s in his nature, he looks when he sees a woman he’s attracted to, and that includes women online. When you walk in on him staring at a half-naked woman on Instagram, you experience the same emotions as you would when he does it in person. 

Still not convinced? Research suggests that men are so obsessed with visual stimulation they spend billions of dollars per year to look at naked women! On the other hand, women will barely break a dollar bill to stare at a naked man. Go figure!

#3 He Has an Addiction to Looking at Beautiful Women

study conducted by researchers at Harvard University found men’s brains react the same whether exposed to the face of a beautiful woman or when taking cocaine! Yes…you read it right!

A beautiful woman has the same effect on men as drugs; they basically make them high. Any drug addict will tell you they are constantly chasing a better high.

So your man is always looking at women on Instagram because he’s searching for the kind of beauty that will intensify his high. A regular woman doesn’t satisfy him anymore.

If you pay attention to the type of women he’s looking at online, he’s not oogling over a plain Jane superbrain with no makeup. He’s checking out the scantily clad stripper types.

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There’s a specific look that fuels his desires, and he’s always searching for that. 

Additionally, he may have a porn addiction. Instagram might not be a porn site, but the women who star in adult movies all have profiles on Instagram.

When he watches porn and is drawn to certain women, he’ll want to know more about them. So he’ll go to Instagram and check out their profiles. 

#4 He is Looking For a New Partner

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Your husband or boyfriend might be so fed up with the relationship that he has started looking elsewhere.

According to experts, this is known as the ‘overlap.’ It’s when a man hasn’t actually started having an affair yet, but he is consciously looking for a new partner, and someone has already caught his eye.

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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He hasn’t met up with this woman yet, he may not have even communicated with her, but he has an intense attraction for her. He spends all his time scrolling through her pictures on Instagram and other social media platforms; he’s just waiting for the right moment to approach her.

It’s similar to when a man is attracted to a woman in person. He knows he finds her physically attractive, but he’s waiting for the right time to make his move. 

#5 He Might be Cheating on You

Has your partner become distant and withdrawn? How about your sex life? Are you still active in the bedroom? If not, it could mean he’s getting his fulfillment elsewhere. Unfortunately, some men will use the internet to find a new partner.

They will go as far as to have an online affair before telling their current partner they want out. A man will ensure the grass is greener on the other side before crossing over.

It has become increasingly popular for men to have affairs online because it’s so convenient. Men can hide their identities by using fake photos and a fake name. They can create an entirely new persona to avoid getting caught.

Additionally, he has more chance of finding the type of woman he wants online. There are millions of profiles for him to scroll through; he can invest time online seeking a new relationship instead of meeting women in the traditional way. Having an affair online is more cost-effective and less time-consuming. 

When Should You be Worried When He is Watching at Other Females Online?

When Should You be Worried When He is Watching at Other Females Online?

As mentioned, it’s normal for men to look at other women. But you if start noticing your sex life is affected, he’s spending money on these women, or you suspect he’s cheating, he’s taking it too far, and you should be worried.

Here are three reasons to get worried when your husband looks at other females online?

#1 Your Sex Life is Affected.

If your sex life is affected, it means he’s getting satisfied elsewhere. Does he claim he’s got work to do and stay up all night in the study? Behavior like this is often an indication he’s watching a lot of porn, and he prefers the stimulation he gets from porn to sleeping with you.

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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So to fuel his desires, he’s always making excuses not to go to bed at the same time as you. Instead, he’ll retreat to the study and whip out some Kleenex for the night. 

#2 He’s Spending Money on These Women.

Could your man be contributing to the billions of dollars a year men spend on looking at naked women?

Men can watch porn for free, but there are some websites that give men access to women in real-time for a fee. Or he might be funding an Instagram baddie, and now, he’s behind on the bills. 

#3 You Suspect He’s Cheating.

Has his oogling crossed the line? Do you suspect your partner is cheating with one of the women he’s met on the internet?

Maybe you’ve read messages about times, dates, and places to meet. Or you’ve seen suspicious hotel or restaurant receipts. 

What do You do When Your Husband Looks at Other Girls?

What do You do When Your Husband Looks at Other Girls?

Don’t fly off the handle when your husband looks at other girls. But it’s also important that he doesn’t disrespect you. When your husband looks at other girls, have a conversation with him, or give him a taste of his own medicine.

Have a Conversation With Him

Have a frank conversation with him about his behavior. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman says to get the best outcome from the discussion, don’t insult your husband’s character by making accusatory statements.

For example, don’t say things like, “you make me feel insecure when you look at other women.” Or, “you embarrass me when you look at other women.” Intellectually, this is true, but no one likes having an accusatory finger pointed at them, which immediately makes a person feel defensive.

Instead, say, “I feel insecure when you look at other women.” Or, “I feel embarrassed when you look at other women.” 

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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Interrupt Him

Taking it back to the bar or restaurant situation, if your husband were gawking at another woman in your face, you’d be like, “excuse me, do you mind?”

He’d then apologize and focus his attention back on you. Do the same when you catch him looking at women online. 

Give Him a Taste of His Own Medicine

If all else fails, give him a taste of his own medicine. Some people don’t change their behavior unless they’ve walked in your shoes.

So, if you’ve had a conversation with him about how it makes you feel when he looks at other women in front of you. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

When a hot guy walks by, start drooling, do exactly what your husband does. Start tripping over your words while following the guy with your eyes. Hopefully, he’ll get the message. 

5 Tips to Deal With Your Husband Looking at Other Women on Instagram

5 Tips to Deal With Your Husband Looking at Other Women on Instagram

There are several things you can do when your husband looks at other women on Instagram, including reminding him that you’ve seen him, 

#1 Don’t Take it to Heart

As you’ve read several times throughout this article, men look at beautiful women, and it has nothing to do with being dissatisfied with you, so don’t take it to heart. He still finds you attractive, he doesn’t wish he could be with someone more beautiful, and you’re still the love of his life. 

#2 Focus on Yourself

Work on yourself instead of comparing yourself to the woman your husband is obsessed with on Instagram.

Pursue your dreams, focus on your goals, and live your best life. The more you become the woman of your dreams, the less affected you’ll be by your husband’s wandering eyes. 

#3 Remind Him You’ve Seen Him

If you’ve had a conversation with your partner about his Instagram oogling behaviors and he’s agreed to put a stop to it. It might take a while before he kicks the habit altogether.

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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When you catch him slipping, remind him that he agreed to stop, and leave it at that. 

#4 Have a Temporary Separation

If your husband keeps looking at other women on Instagram and refuses to respect your wishes, have a temporary separation.

Unfortunately, desperate times will create desperate measures, and if you want to save your marriage, you will need to put your foot down. 

#5 Get Counselling

When you speak to your female friends about your husband looking at other women on the internet, they’ll shrug it off as normal.

In most cases, they know their partners do it, and they’ve turned a blind eye to it. Nevertheless, don’t follow the crowd. If you feel some deeper issues need uncovering, get professional help. 

How do You Deal With the Fact That Your Husband or Boyfriend is Watching at Other Females Online?

As much as you don’t want your partner looking at other women online, there are things you can do to make things easier for yourself, such as find out what’s missing in your relationship, remember it’s not real, and look within.

If you want to find out how to deal with the fact that your husband or boyfriend looks at other women online. Keep reading. 

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Find Out What’s Missing in the Relationship

Unfortunately, some men find it difficult to articulate their feelings. Instead, they’ll bury them and find an outlet elsewhere.

In an ideal world, he’d just tell you what the problem was; you’d both fix it and live happily. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world, and you may have a partner who struggles with telling you how he feels.

His coping strategy is to find comfort in an online fantasy world. Again, you may need counseling, or once confronted, he may feel safe enough to talk about what’s going on with you. It’s at this point that you can find a resolution. 

Remember It’s Not Real

No woman wakes up first thing in the morning looking like a supermodel! It takes hours of preparation to look like an Instagram or an online hottie. Please understand that your partner has bought into a fantasy.

Porn stars are paid actresses, and they are paid to behave like that because it sells. If these women have partners, there’s a high chance they don’t act that way in the bedroom with them.

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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When posting provocative pictures online, editing tools and filters create an illusion of perfection that doesn’t exist. I challenge you to Google Instagram vs. ‘ reality, and you’ll see what some of these women really look like. If you can’t compete against something that doesn’t exist, why get offended over it?

Look Within

This one might hurt a bit, but I would do the article a huge disservice if I were to miss it out, so here goes.

If your partner is just looking at other women online occasionally, and he’s not following them or leaving them seedy comments and fire emojis, his behavior is innocent.

The reality is that men will look at other women no matter how much they love their partner. It would be highly unrealistic to expect them not to. Can you honestly say you don’t find other men attractive? I doubt you can. In that case, you need to do some soul searching and find out why it’s so hard for you to accept your partner looking at other women.

Were you cheated on in another relationship? Perhaps you weren’t the popular girl in school, and you were always picked last when it came to dating?

Maybe you were considered the least attractive amongst your sisters or girlfriends. You may need counseling to figure out and resolve the issue. Either way, some soul searching may help you get through this difficult time. 

Set Healthy Boundaries

What aggravates you the most about your partner’s online behavior? Is it that you don’t mind him looking but following, commenting, sending them DM’s is crossing the line?

Whatever you find offensive, you need to communicate with him. I know you don’t want to come across as the nagging type, but if you want a happy relationship, suffering in silence isn’t the answer because your frustrations will come out in other ways.

So here’s the solution, have a calm and rational conversation with your partner and tell him what you expect from him as a respectful boyfriend or husband. 

It’s also important to mention that you also establish consequences when setting boundaries.

If he breaks those boundaries, enforce the consequences. You must enforce the consequences because if you don’t, he’ll continue disrespecting you, and his behavior will eventually destroy your self-esteem. 

Be Supportive

Many women don’t understand porn addiction, and they have no desire to. They’ve made up their mind that men are just perverts, and that’s just what they like doing, so they do it. But that’s not the case at all. 

Research suggests that porn addiction is exactly the same as alcohol or drug addiction. So let me ask you this, how would you treat your husband if he had an alcohol or drug problem? Most women are going to support their partners and help them recover.

The same should be true with a porn addiction. The main reason you’re so offended by this addiction is that it’s a threat to your self-esteem. You feel as if you can’t compare to these women, and you’ll never be able to satisfy your partner in the same way they can.

So to protect yourself, you withdraw instead of helping him fight the battle against it. 

FAQ About Looking at Girls on Instagram

Here are the answers to the most common questions asked about husbands and boyfriends looking at girls on Instagram.

Is looking at girls on Instagram considered cheating?

No, because he’s only looking. He hasn’t contacted these women, and they have no physical or emotional connection.

You can compare checking out women on Instagram to looking at women at a bar, office, or grocery store.

The bottom line is men look at attractive women; it only becomes cheating when they start hooking up with them.  

What to do when you catch your husband checking out another woman?

Catching your husband checking out other women is disrespectful. Married women are well aware that their husbands don’t stop finding other women attractive because they’re married. The problem is when they do it in your face. 

When you catch your husband checking out another woman, don’t fly off the handle, have a conversation with him, and let him know how it makes you feel.

Final Thoughts

There are thousands, perhaps millions of women struggling with partners who can’t stop looking at women online, and asking the question why does my husband looks at other females on Instagram? 

Since the internet or beautiful women are not going anywhere, what’s the solution to this annoying problem? First, put the strategies mentioned in this article into practice.

If it works, great; if not, and you feel you’ve done everything possible to rectify the problem and your partner continues disrespecting you, put an end to the relationship.

No, this is not an extreme measure; you deserve to be with someone who will put you on a pedal stool and not other women!

If your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll give you plenty of signs such as you are still on their social media, they ask mutual friends questions about you, or he/she keeps bringing up things from the past.


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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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