Last Updated on March 16, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Have you been wondering why my girlfriend gets mad at me for the smallest things?
It could be because she’s stressed, has excessive jealousy issues, or is on her menstrual cycle. Being in a relationship with a person who’s angry all the time is no fun.
You can’t seem to get a moment’s peace because she’s always flying off the handle about one thing or another. What makes it worse is that it will be about the smallest things, such as you didn’t put the milk back in the fridge or forgot one item on the shopping list.
Although you love your girlfriend, being in a relationship with her makes you miserable.
You’re not thinking about leaving just yet, as you feel that getting a clear understanding of why she acts this way will help you help her manage her frustrations better.
Keep reading to find out the answer to the question why my girlfriend gets mad at me for the smallest things?
Why Does My Girlfriend Gets Mad At Me For The Smallest Things Constantly?
It must be really frustrating having a girlfriend who is constantly getting upset over small things in a relationship.
There are many reasons she could be acting like this, including she’s stressed, has excessive jealousy issues, or is on her menstrual cycle. Here are ten reasons your girlfriend gets mad at you for the smallest things.
#1 She’s Stressed
Does your girlfriend have a lot on her plate? Maybe she’s got a sick relative, or her company is downsizing, and there’s a chance she could lose her job.
There are many reasons why your partner might be feeling stressed and causing her to lash out at you over the smallest things.
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#2 She’s Got Excessive Jealousy Issues
Women with excessive jealousy issues are typically very insecure, and they will interpret everything you do through the lens of their insecurities.
As far as she’s concerned, if you find another woman attractive, it’s because she’s not good enough; if you go out with your friends, it’s because you want to check out other women because she’s not good enough.
If you decide you need to start working out, it’s because you want to look good for other women because she’s not good enough. Because of her jealousy, she’s always picking fights with you.
Basically, until she deals with her insecurities, jealousy will always be a problem in your relationship.
#3 She’s On Her Menstrual Cycle
Time flies by so quickly these days that before you know it, you’re at the beginning of a new month.
Women with regular cycles will start experiencing hormonal changes about a week before their cycle begins, this is referred to as premenstrual syndrome.
One of the symptoms of these hormonal changes is mood swings in which your girlfriend may get frustrated about the smallest things.
So although it may appear that she’s angry all the time, if you pay close attention, in reality, she only acts like this for one week out of every month.
#4 She’s Got Anger Management Issues
Someone who struggles to control their anger will misinterpret things like constructive criticism and view it as an attack on their character instead.
So if you kindly request that she puts less salt in the food, she’ll assume you’re indirectly telling her she can’t cook.
Or she will over generalize by saying something like, “You’re never there for me,” if you’re ten minutes late to pick her up from the doctors because of traffic.
She obsesses over the way things should be and always jumps to conclusions before looking into the facts. Behavior like this is a sign she’s got anger management issues.
#5 She’s Attention Seeking
Attention-seeking behavior develops during childhood. When children don’t get the attention they need from their caregivers, they start acting out to get attention.
An unintentional consequence of this is that bad behavior is rewarded.
Although a parent isn’t going to give their child a candy bar for writing all over the walls, they will get scolded, and as far as the child is concerned. If that’s what they need to do to get some kind of attention, that’s what they’ll do.
So as an adult, if your girlfriend doesn’t feel as if she’s getting the kind of attention she needs from you, she’ll revert to what she’s been conditioned to do, and that’s to misbehave in order to get your attention.
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#6 She’s Always In A Bad Mood
Her mood swings may have nothing to do with you, but because she’s always in a bad mood for one reason or another, she takes it out on you.
She may have argued with a friend or a family member, her car broke down on the way to work, or a co-worker got her into trouble.
There are a number of reasons why she might be in a bad mood.
#7 She Has Health Problems
Your girlfriend may have health problems she’s not aware of. Mental health issues that can cause mood swings include personality disorders, dysthymia, major depressive disorder, cyclothymic disorder, and bipolar disorder.
Physical conditions that can cause mood swings include low blood sugar, sleep disorder, hormonal issues, or thyroid issues.
The easiest way to find out whether health problems are responsible for your girlfriend getting mad at you all the time is to book an appointment with the doctor.
#8 She’s Mirroring You
Maybe you get mad at her for the smallest things, and she’s decided to give you a taste of your own medicine before addressing it.
Depending on an individual’s personality type, it’s easier to show them before telling them.
So maybe she’s intentionally spending a few weeks getting angry with you for every little thing because unbeknownst to you, that’s what you do to her.
Do you complain about how she cleans the house, irons your shirts, or cooks the dinner? Spend a few minutes self-reflecting, and if you’re guilty of this, it’s time to apologize.
#9 She’s Cheating On You
One of the signs that a person is cheating on you is that they start nit-picking.
All of a sudden, every little thing you do becomes an irritant. The way you eat, the way you comb your hair, the way you blow your nose. Nothing you do is good enough anymore.
People typically act like this when they’re in a long-term relationship and don’t have the guts to end it.
Instead, they’ll attempt to drive you away by causing continuous arguments.
#10 She Thinks You Don’t Appreciate Her
Some women willingly carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and then start complaining when their partners don’t praise them for it.
She takes on tasks that you didn’t assign to her, and after she’s completed them and you don’t kiss the ground she walks on, it becomes a problem.
There’s also another side to your girlfriend acting out because she doesn’t feel appreciated. Maybe you do take her for granted and expect her to do everything in the house without letting her know you appreciate the things she does.
Many years ago, it was the norm for women to be responsible for the home while the men went out to work. A man raised in that environment might expect the same from his wife despite going out to work every day, just like him.
Although it’s difficult, she makes it work; when he arrives home, everything is in order, but because he expects this due to his upbringing, showing appreciation for the work she does in the home isn’t on his agenda.
As a result, she becomes angry and frustrated. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?
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What Are Red Flags In A Relationship?
Regardless of the context, the term ‘red flag’ means STOP! A red traffic light means stop, a red card thrown up in a sports game means stop, and a red flag in a relationship means stop.
These red flags could include the inability to communicate, a person who is easily angered, or someone who disrespects you in public. It’s important to pay attention to red flags in a relationship because it signifies danger ahead.
Unfortunately, many people are led by their feelings and will ignore or brush off red flags until it’s too late.
Don’t let that be your story; here are ten red flags to pay attention to in a relationship:
#1 The Inability To Communicate
Bad communication skills are a no-no in any relationship because life is about communicating with people.
A person who cannot articulate their thoughts and feelings coherently will frustrate you to no end.
For a relationship to work, both parties must be able to tell each other what they need so they can give each other what they need.
Additionally, good listening skills are also required because listening is a part of communicating.
A person with bad communication skills will struggle with conflict resolution, which renders a successful relationship impossible.
#2 Easily Angered
Anger is a natural human emotion; its intensity ranges from mild annoyance to extreme rage.
Like other emotions, anger must be managed in the right way to prevent it from getting out of control. Some people are more easily angered than others which is fine as everyone is unique and can get triggered by different things.
The problem is their response when they get angry. If a person flies into a tumultuous rage all the time for seemingly no reason, you are dealing with a red flag that could become dangerous.
Does her anger lead to violent displays? Does she hit you, loved ones, or strangers? If so, you’re dealing with a very serious red flag.
There are several reasons why a person is easily angered, and the inability to communicate is one of them.
Some people get frustrated when they can’t say what they need to say in a manner coherent enough for the listener to understand.
Additionally, a person raised in an abusive environment can also cause a person to become easily angered in adulthood.
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#3 Disrespects You In Public
When you’re out at a gathering having a conversation with a group of people, does she question everything you say in a way that makes you look like a fool?
Does she finish your sentences or cut you off completely. How about telling stories that make you look bad?
Or maybe she’s just downright rude to you, and if you try and question her about her attitude, she starts an argument or stonewalls you.
In public, making you look like an idiot is the highest form of disrespect. She shouldn’t be disrespecting you at all, but doing it in public makes it even worse.
#4 She Bad Mouths All Her Exes
Granted, every woman has to kiss a few frogs until she finds her prince charming, but every frog wasn’t the devil.
Some relationships just don’t work out because the couple wasn’t compatible, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
Some relationships don’t work out because the guy was a jerk, and some because the woman was a b****!
But if your girlfriend blames every relationship failure on the guy, some things not quite right. According to psychologists, this is one of the symptoms of narcissism.
Narcissistic people believe they’re always right. They are incapable of making mistakes, and if something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault.
Bad-mouthing all her exes is a huge red flag, and I would advise that you start planning your exit strategy.
#5 Your Friends Don’t Like Her
I am in no way suggesting that your friends need to co-sign all your relationships.
Additionally, even if your girlfriend was Princess Diana, some friends will never accept who you’re in a relationship with because she’s taking away from your friendship.
Nevertheless, on this occasion, your friends just confirmed what you already knew.
You can’t do anything right; she fly’s off the handle at random things, and she has a bad habit of disrespecting you in public.
Your girlfriend has no filter, and as you got ready for your friend’s birthday, deep down, you knew it would be a bad idea to invite your girlfriend.
Well, you should have listened to your gut because she caused a scene and ruined the vibe at your friend’s birthday, and now, they don’t like her.
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#6 Substance Abuse
There is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine with your meal or going out for drinks with friends.
But drinking becomes problematic when a person is dependent on it. Does she need a drink first thing in the morning, before she goes to work, or to get to sleep?
What happens if she’s run out of alcohol? Does she get moody, irritable, and depressed? Does she use drugs but claim they are for recreational use only?
When she’s intoxicated, does she get abusive? Substance abuse doesn’t get any better; it will only worsen unless the person is willing to get help.
#7 Conflict In Relationship Goals
If what you want and what she want’s out of a relationship are in conflict, it will end in disaster.
According to relationship expert Dr. Walsh, mismatched relationship goals will lead to unfulfilment.
Do you want to get married and she doesn’t? Does she want to have children, and you don’t?
Does she want to live in Florida and you in New York? It’s okay to compromise in a relationship, but you can’t afford to compromise on major issues, or you’ll regret it in the future.
#8 Distrust and Jealousy Issues
Jealousy is another natural human emotion that will work for or against you depending on how you manage it.
It’s normal to experience feelings of jealousy in a romantic relationship.
For example, let’s say you go out to a party with your partner, and a friend of hers from high school is making it really obvious that he’s sexually attracted to your girlfriend.
They are fully engaged in their discussion, and you’re left standing there twiddling your fingers.
A scenario like this may ignite jealousy, but instead of having a temper tantrum on the spot, you wait it out and address the issue in a calm and measured way when you get home.
That’s normal jealousy, but if your partner is always looking through your phone, questioning you every time you leave the house or get off the phone, has a problem with your female friends.
Or she starts an argument every time you go out for a night out with friends; you’re dealing with an unhealthy level of jealousy.
The foundation of a successful relationship is trust; without it, the union won’t last.
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#9 Can’t Maintain Relationships
What are her relationships like with friends and family?
If there’s always some drama going on, or she doesn’t have friends at all, you’re dealing with a woman with an inability to maintain relationships.
You should be even more suspicious if all arguments and disagreements are never her fault. Again, this is a symptom of narcissism.
The reality is there is no such thing as a perfect relationship; disagreements will happen.
But a person who refuses to accept responsibility for an argument and can’t resolve conflict will be difficult to deal with in a romantic relationship.
#10 Too Much Time On Her Hands
When a person doesn’t have anything else to do with their time apart from hang out with you, it’s a sign that they live an unfulfilled life.
If all she does is go to work, come home, and sit by the phone waiting for you to call, she’ll become too dependent on you.
It will seem sweet at first, but it will become problematic in the future. Eventually, she’ll start resenting you for having friends and hobbies.
She won’t want you spending any time apart, and when you want to go off and do stuff alone, it will cause arguments.
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Does My Girlfriend Have Anger Issues?
There is a possibility that your girlfriend has anger issues if she displays passive-aggressive behavior, doesn’t think before she speaks, or she expresses her anger physically.
Here are three signs your girlfriend has anger issues:
#1 She Displays Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior involves indirectly expressing negative feelings without addressing them directly.
For example, she’ll agree to pick you up from your job even though she doesn’t want to, and then won’t turn up.
People who display passive-aggressive behavior internalize their anger, and it often erupts at a later date over something insignificant.
#2 She Doesn’t Think Before She Speaks
Whether you’re out in public or the home, she’ll verbalize exactly how she feels without thinking about the consequences.
Sometimes the verbal abuse is not directed at you; she’ll cuss people out in traffic or at the grocery store and then apologize for her crude behavior later.
By then, it’s too late; the damage has been done.
#3 She Expresses Her Anger Physically
When she gets angry, does your girlfriend break things? Throw stuff at the walls? Or even hit you?
Anger should never result in violence, and physical manifestations of this emotion are a sign of anger issues.
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Is Anger A Sign Of Love?
No, anger is not a sign of love. Unfortunately, those raised in households where anger and physical abuse were the norm will subconsciously believe that anger is a way of expressing love.
This issue can work both ways, so you’ll also need to do a history check.
Some people raised in abusive households will attract abusive partners because they subconsciously believe that if a person doesn’t abuse them, they don’t love them.
Then there are those who express their love through anger because their childhood has trained them to believe anger is love.
Now that you know the answer to the question why does my girlfriend get mad at me easily?
It’s important to understand that you’ll never have peace being in a toxic relationship with a woman who is easily angered. You’ll spend your days walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do anything that will cause her to lash out.
No matter how much you think you love her or how badly you want the relationship to work, it’s impossible to have a successful relationship with someone like this.
Such women are irrational and unpredictable; the moment you think you’re on the right path, they switch on you, and you’ve got to figure them out all over again.
Unless your girlfriend recognizes that she has a problem and she’s willing to do what is necessary to change, I would advise that you run for the hills!
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