Narcissists all sit nicely on a scale, don’t they? Some may be less harmful to you than others, while a select few (but very existing) actually have psychopathic blood running through their veins.

It’s not enough for them just to be a little egotistical. Instead – they are all in. Making your life, and the lives of everybody else completely miserable. 

They’re dangerous, and I’m not talking lightly here.

So let’s look at the narcissist in your life – and as you work through my ‘Psychopath Checklist’ – I’ll let you decide if they are more evil than you had them down to be.

Let’s Get to Know Them: The Checklist

You’ll know a narcissist by their:

• Inability to feel or display any empathy
• Ability to triangulate and pit people against each other
• Their lack of sympathy when you’re struggling
• The entitled bubble they live in – where they feel everything is owed to them
• Obsession that the world must revolve around them
• Way they blow so hot and cold – creating an addictive persona and one victims find it hard to break away from
• Game playing tactics such as isolating you, gaslighting you, violating your boundaries and stripping away your confidence and self-esteem
• Isolation moves, making it hard for you to find a support system over time because they’ve managed to disante you from loved ones
• Instant charm and how they can draw crowds while simultaneously ignore you and give you the silent treatment
• Ability to treat you abusively behind closed doors but maintain a very popular character in public, making it hard for you to justify or prove abuse

Narcissists are dangerous people who are capable of causing so much destruction. They have zero conscience and will get under your skin over time. Eventually, guess what?

…Your attachment to them reaffirms the power they have over you. 

That’s the sole aim of a narcissist, really. The idea that “I can do whatever I want, and you’ll forgive me for it” is how they know you’ll never leave them.

Hmmm … Ticks All The Boxes…

All narcissists behave this way, and that’s something those who know them will figure out over time. 

It’s not supposed to be nice or pleasant, and any narcissist that enters your life is going to turn it around to suit them and make everything difficult, painful or disappointing for you. 

It’s their job, it’s what they do best.

Narcissists are toxic tornados and if you are in their path, they’re going to destroy you. 

But what about the next level? What happens when a narcissist truly enters psychopathic territory?

Do you think the narcissist you know could display some of those traits? 

We’re talking major shifts and steps up in the narcissism scale.

Psychopaths exist, and they don’t just exist in True Crime docuseries on your streaming channel!

They’re among us, and you likely know one or two.

If you’re unlucky enough to know one well, then it’s time we broke down the true meaning of “psychopath,” and allow you to decide for yourself if the person in question ticks those boxes. 

Narcissism vs. Psychopathy: What’s The Difference?

Narcissists:

• React hugely to criticism
• Driven by self-image
• Are always on the lookout for admiration
• Need attention wherever they go

Psychopaths:

• Are calculated to another level – with no remorse
• They are cold people – some say they cannot feel a single emotion
• Sometimes engage in criminal behavior with no conscience at all
• Are deceitful to the point where they are unable to feel any guilt or regret
• Are not wanting to be defined by a desire for social recognition. They don’t care for attention – instead focusing purely on their motive

You see that a psychopath can go about their days quietly and get whatever they want done, done. Narcissists can’t do that without creating drama and getting as much attention as possible. 

It’s worrying that factually – psychopaths are always the pens you hear about when people say:

They were always so quiet. I never really saw them and they didn’t really speak.

They never gave me the impression that they were troubled. Always saw me, smiled and waved. 

They kept themselves to themselves.

Suddenly, it all makes sense when you think of it like this.

Narcissists are the opposite in many ways. They are always wanting in one person’s business, competing and comparing, and causing conflict and chaos wherever they go. 

Psychopaths however – not as much.

…Dare I Ask The Similarities?!

Sure! But I think you’d better get comfortable, because there are more similarities than you think.

• They’re both selfish
• They’re both cruel
• They both lack a conscience
• They both lack empathy
• They both hold grudges
• They both exhibit toxic urges
• They’re both full of ego
• They hate themselves underneath it all
• They get jealous
• They hate seeing other people happy
• They enjoy punishment and revenge

It’s eye opening to see quite how much narcissists and psychopaths have in common, isn’t it?

I mean, every single one of these similarities have the ability to grow and evolve into really dangerous acts that can cause you pain or problems.

If you clock into the psychopath side of these similarities, you’re going to want to magnify them because they will be much more intense than those of a narcissist.

I know right now you’re probably thinking of all the famous villains in movies who could be categorized as psychopaths, just for comparison’s sake. 

Good job I did that already for you!

• Catherine in Basic Instinct
• Jordan in the Wolf of Wall Street
• The Joker
• Anton in No Country For Old Men
• Or, dare I go there… Fatal Attraction?!

These are people beyond the narcissistic level of entitlement or manipulation.

These are people with a real evil streak.

Ignoring That Gut Feeling

The mind and gut are so closely connected that we should all be tuning into it more.

The gut will tell you when something doesn’t seem right, so it’s then up to you to know what to do next.

Psychopaths are dangerous people, and you could end up finding yourself in a real spot of bother if you don’t look to escape. 

If You Don’t Feel Safe…

Situations that involve narcissists and psychopaths is a pretty unsafe path to walk on.

You think you’re safe, but that’s only because you know what you’re getting into.

Sometimes, you don’t. 

Sometimes you need to walk away and reach out for help if needed. 

Not feeling safe is the first step to admitting there’s a huge problem you need to find your way out of, and I would advise that to be the case if this is where you are.

You’re Shocked to See Where Narcissists Really End Up!

Narcissists just seem to annoyingly have it all, don’t they? 

You might think to yourself, “How do they get away with so much?”

Well, honestly, it’s because they’re experts at playing the game they wrote.

It can all change though, dear reader. And indeed – it does.

Where the narcissist ends up is going to shock you, and make you realize just how one moment can alter everything.

Narcissists: The Perfect Life

It’s the perfect painted picture, isn’t it? Narcissists want to be perfect, and they try very hard to ensure that image is kept up, no matter what.

They will make out like nothing is their fault. They want to be hard workers, so people know just how seriously they take their responsibilities.

They love to honor themselves by providing the best material goods you can think of. They want that nice car, big house, fancy clothes, and the latest phone.

On paper, they have it all. They project the perfect life to the world, so that world sees them as perfect. 

What Do You Think?

Of course, we know they aren’t perfect – far from it, in fact!

There’s a part of some people who are really familiar with narcissists who know the trajectory ahead.

Before I get to that point though, I want you to think of one narcissist that you know. They might be a family member, a friend, somebody you work with, or even your spouse. 

Once you have them locked firmly in your mind, I want you to think about how they are right now.

Are they more impossible than usual? Maybe they have a past of always getting what they want, and just being extremely lucky. 

They have good health. They have great contacts. They live in a nice house that you wish you owned. They don’t seem to rattle many cages, and they’re well respected both personally and professionally. 

It’s all unfair, isn’t it? Especially when you know who they really are.

Without You..

This is the worst part – the part you know and are familiar with…

…Narcissists are nothing without you. They build their entire egotistical empire on making you feel the worst you’ve ever felt, and that’s what causes them to exceed even their own expectations.

But as soon as you throw a spanner in the works – as soon as the dynamics shift in any way, the narcissist’s mask and character begin to crumble.

They realize they cannot function without knowing they can openly abuse you at any moment.

They want it to continue for as long as possible, but they know it can’t because you’ve gone, left, or figured out who they are.

You’ve discovered the truth. 

And That Is Why They Need You

They can’t play their game unless you sign up for it, and when you walk away, the game is officially over. 

You have to remember this, friends, because it’s what is going to get you through your worst days with the narcissist:

They truly need you more than you need them.

You’ve been programmed to believe you need them and cannot survive without them, but that simply isn’t the case. 

The reality is that they can only do what they do because they have an open door to it.

When you shut that door, everything changes.

The Downfall

The downfall is almost immediate but not necessarily obvious to all. 

You’ll notice a withdrawal. The narcissist is temporarily at a loss. Yes, they can move onto their next victim, but what if they have run out of people to manipulate? 

What if there is no charm left in their charm bucket?

It’s easy to notice narcissists look lost when they don’t know how to operate the people around them to their advantage. 

They’ve used up all their options, and now it’s time to watch the demise. 

…Even The Deterioration!

I have had conversations in the past with people I’ve met or know about their narcissistic parent. 

When they were younger, the parent thrived knowing they could power play their children and spouse.

Work was busy and they were always trying to produce ways to make everybody around them feel small.

As they aged, so did their character.

It became harder to manipulate children who were suddenly adults, with more power to hold a thought, opinion, or goal they wanted to achieve. 

They feel lost, and try to claw control wherever they can. Often that can look like lashing out, or trying to triangulate wherever possible.

They play on their age, with phrases like:

I used to be so much fitter than I am now.

I’m getting older. Nobody understands or sees me.

I’m poorly. Nobody helps me.

I wish I could turn the clock back.

It’s really as if they’re playing their own sad violin song, isn’t it? You almost want to roll your eyes because you know they’re playing on their age.

Aging is actually a privilege not everybody gets to experience, and that’s something worth remembering. 

The problem with narcissists is how they use their age like it’s some kind of mental incapacitation. 

They’re still very able to be narcissists. 

They just fool less people.

Going Nowhere: Fast

The narcissist is declining! 

It’s fast-moving – and I have to say that if you think it’s enjoyable – you wouldn’t be the first person with that opinion. 

Finally, the day comes when not everything goes their way. 

People get fed up with them blowing hot and cold.

There’s a shift in how they feel they deserve to be treated.

They understand the correlation between feeling negative and being around the narcissist.

They start to want to achieve goals for themselves and understand the narcissist is the one who holds them back.

Life starts wanting to be lived, and all the while those people are growing into theirs, the narcissists are shrinking.

Narcissistic abuse is only possible when you consciously or subconsciously give yourself up to the narcissist. 

If you start to put yourself first, the narcissist has no choice. 

And no – they don’t like it – but guess what…

…It’s not up to them.

There’s Never a Happy Ending

When it comes to narcissists, they never have a happy ending. They are infamous for becoming more and more impossible in older age.

Their stubbornness becomes almost petulant. 

They crave being able to control the people they once did.

Their grudges are bigger than ever. 

They understand that they are not the person they once were.

Narcissists end up miserable, sad and lonely. They always were, but these emotions become more prominent as they age. 

They never start caring, nor do they regret how they have acted.

It would be your mistake to assume they ever will, or do.

How Do Narcissists Manipulate Their Partners?

Narcissists are happiest when they have a partner they can twist, manipulate and control.

They love to be part of something where everybody else is smaller and less powerful than they are. Their lives then have meaning, just as they feel they should every day.

There are specific ways a narcissist will manipulate their partners, though. As troubling as it may sound, these are textbook ways – and that’s where you need to pay close attention.

If this sounds like your situation, that’s because it likely is.

“My Reality is Fact!”

The reality is that you’re being manipulated by someone who has had much practice. They’ve been exactly where they are now, except with different victims. 

“You’re Nothing!”

Being told how worthless you are does a few things.

For the narcissist, it brings them to a new level of control and manipulation. If you hear something enough times, you will start to believe it. 

You believe it even more when you’re treated that way alongside those words. 

It’s all a tactic, created to destroy your hopes and dreams, your identity, and how you carry yourself each day. 

Where you once stood tall, you now slouch and try to be invisible.

That’s exactly how the narcissist wants you. 

“It’s Your Fault, Not Mine!”

Narcissists project to get whatever they’ve done wrong out of the light. They don’t want their faults or inappropriate actions to be spotted, and so they throw you out there instead.

So everybody looks at you. The narcissist looks at you as if they feel let down by you. 

And you feel that shame, because you take it on. And you take it on because they’ve pushed it so far into you that you have no choice. 

This design is set up to get them off the hook.

Thank God you are there for them to treat you this way – without you – they just might look like the bad guy.

Phew for them!

“…”

That’s right, the good old silent treatment. The way narcissists do this is by completely shutting down and ignoring you. 

If you’ve experienced it, I don’t need to tell you how uncomfortable it is. It induces panic, fear and worry, and like all things narcissists do, it is unnecessary. 

The silent treatment acts to give you nothing at all, so it’s easy for the narcissist to say, “Well, I didn’t say anything horrible. I wasn’t mean,” Then make excuses for them being quiet. 

When you’ve been given the silent treatment, you are left to your own insecure devices.

What did I do wrong?

How can I fix this?

What can I do to make them happy?

I must be a terrible person.

What’s going to happen next?

Do you need this?

No.

Yet they make it so prevalent in your world. 

It isn’t fair. 

“I Must Cause Fallout”

 What is life without a little drama? Actually, it’s quite nice. But then again, I’m speaking as an emotionally healthy person, and not a narcissist. 

The idea that drama is of such greedy interest to the narcissist is one that never fails to shock me. Why would anybody want to be in the middle of so much negativity?

Narcissists do. As people and emotions explode around them, they can act and do what they like and not be seen to be doing anything wrong at all.

Be careful here – narcissists want to pull strings to see a certain dynamic. 

If you’re a part of that, you will suffer. 

“Poor Me…”

The victim mentality of a narcissist can stop the most believing people in their tracks.

It’s all been too much for me.

I try my best.

I don’t know what I do wrong to upset people. 

I wish people would understand me.

These phrases tug at the heartstrings of those who want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and sadly – yes – it works. 

Narcissists always want to look as though they’re being wronged.

This injects:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Self-blame
• Self-loathing
• Insecurity
• Worry
• Anxiety
• Depression

In their partners, and they know this. 

They just don’t care.  

“Bringing You Back, Get Ready!”

Let’s take you back to a time where we were so in love, and everything was perfect!

We are so great, you and me. It was us against the world!

Think about all that passion we had. You’re never going to be able to find that anywhere else.

Oh, the manipulation game is strong with these kinds of phrases. They love getting you at your most vulnerable, reflecting on the distorted nostalgia between you.

It’s enough to make you paint over all the cracks in between, isn’t it? And there were a lot of those. 

What’s manipulative about this is the narcissist’s attempt to invite you to ignore their abuse, and only focus on the good (which was likely to have felt magical!) 

Don’t get sucked into this black hole.

“I Will Tell Everybody!”

Uh-oh. What’s that supposed to mean?

I think you and I both know this is not going to end well with you,

Narcissists will tell whoever listens what a horrible person you are and how you wronged them. They may stretch as far as saying that you are the cheater, you hurt them, you spread lies about them and you’re the manipulative one. 

It’s frustrating for victims, but beyond that, it’s absolutely destructive. 

Suddenly, your reputation is in tatters. It’s all based on the false word of the narcissist, who, by the way, is likely loving seeing your house of bricks fall down while their house of cards remains. 

“Nice, But Not!”

You go out, they act like the perfect partner.

You get home, and they ignore you.

You did this wrong, you did that wrong, you didn’t pay them enough attention, you flirted with that person.

Whatever it is, the charm will switch off. The mask will inevitably slip.

This is where the narcissist has learned not just to manipulate you but also to manipulate everybody else, too. They all think, “What a nice person. They’re such a good couple.”

Also the best one, 

“You’re so lucky to have them as your partner!”

Oh boy, if only they knew the truth, right? 

The truth is, you aren’t lucky. The narcissist is just very clever. They know buttons to press, when to press them, who to press them with, and they are always ready for it. 

You on the other hand then find it even more difficult to convince people of the truth.