You get an entire pass of honesty for the day, and the narcissist sees you coming!
They know they have to answer properly, instead of fluffing their words up for their own benefit, and that spells trouble.
Wouldn’t it be great if we got that pass? I often think about what I’d ask a narcissist if I knew I would receive the truth in return, and I have whittled those questions down to the most intriguing 10 that I can possibly ever offer you.
What’s interesting is I think deep down, we already know the answers, but at times like this, a little validation is what is needed. I hope you get it.
#1 Why do you feel the need to hurt people?
Straight down to it, I think you’ll agree. It’s a huge question, and if I had the opportunity to show the faces of all the hurt people I’ve worked with over the years to their narcissistic abusers, I’d want to know why.
Personally for them, the reasons may differ, but the reasons will always be rooted to the same answer…
Because seeing other people in pain takes away the pain the narcissist carries every day.
You’d never know of this pain, I mean, they hide it pretty darn well. The depths of it are endless though, and will all point to the fact that narcissists look to cause pain in order to hide their own.
It’s cruel to think that’s why so many of you are hurting right now.
#2 Who hurt you?
If I asked a narcissist this question, I know I’d be getting answers that revolve around similar themes of. “Somebody who was supposed to be there for me was not in a very painful way.”
I’ll bet you have that in common with them, which is why you looked to such magnetic energy in the narcissist in the first place.
The difference is you didn’t use that lack of love to inflict emotional wounds on others, and the narcissist did.
Narcissists are walking emotional wounds, but they cover those wounds with money, ego and entitlement.
#3 What is so scary about love?
The answer from the narcissist would be everything. From the trust you instill in another when you give your heart to them, to the vulnerability of the conversations you have when you’re in love, to the sharing of life with somebody.
It’s all a huge no-go for narcissists, who only want to live for them and put themselves first.
It’s scary, but instead of admitting to that, they push it back with different types of abuse.
If only they could be honest and tell us how fragile they feel about it.
#4 Do you have any regrets?
Narcissists have a lot of regrets, but if you were to actually ask them, they’d deny that fact and push it back on to you, telling you how crazy you are. They will probably even laugh at you for trying to be too deep!
For me? It’d for sure be a question I’d ask. I’d like to hear about the way their life so far hasn’t gone to plan, or what they wish they’d done differently, Including treating you and others with respect.
#5 Do you wish you could have real friends?
I know the narcissist will try to crawl their way out of this one if you asked them in real life, but if they could be honest for just a moment, they’d answer with a huge yes.
They want all the things that come so naturally to you. They want to be able to experience what it feels like to lean on somebody and not have them hurt or judge you.
They just for a little while want to know what that does to a person’s soul and self-esteem. To know there’s a person out there who has chosen you to be their friend and support system.
I think that’s a beautiful thing. And narcissists? I think they wish they could have that but they’re too proud to ever admit it.
#6 Why do you only feel good when you’re making others feel bad?
I just want a narcissist to admit that they are that miserable, they only feel good when they’re causing others a great deal of pain in some way.
To think that joy only comes from misery is a real bugbear of mine, and I only wish they knew how to create that without turning the lives of somebody they claim to care about upside down.
And if they could be honest about it, maybe they could change how they treat people. But that will never happen.
#7 Why does other people’s success intimidate you?
The short answer is because the narcissist wants it all, but to want it all, all of the time has to stem from some kind of insecurity, right?
It’s okay to share success with others, and for each person in life to have their own moment of joy and achievement.
Intimidation of the success of somebody else has got to stem from a place of, “Why not me? I want it!”
There’s a hint of entitlement stuck firmly in the center of that statement, which again, aligns with the narcissistic personality.
#8 What do you wish you could change about yourself?
Narcissists want to say everything, but instead they’d look at you like you were some kind of alien. If they could be honest for the day, they would reel you off a very long list of things they’d change.
Their attitude.
The way they love.
The ability to feel and empathize.
These are big parts of a person’s character. If a narcissist could, trust me, they would. The first part of that has to be admitting that’s what needs to change.
#9 Is admitting you made a mistake so bad?
Wouldn’t it be nice to hear a narcissist shrug off a mistake? Whether it’s yours or theirs, we’ve got to allow life to ‘life’, haven’t we?
We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t make mistakes, but in a narcissist’s world, a mistake made is a sign that an image is crumbling.
I think when we try to live by the narcissist’s standards, we’re always going to let ourselves down and punish ourselves for small things that didn’t go to plan.
Narcissists need to admit that a mistake doesn’t mean your reputation has gone forever.
#10 What do you fear the most?
Narcissists fear love the most. It’s the most vulnerable emotion out there, and when they feel it coming toward them, they will repel it.
Don’t get me wrong, they will accept the physical love, but not the intimate, open hat that may come after.
This stems from how narcissists were constantly let down by the people they love at a young age.
The feeling that they had to earn it and be perfect all the time, only for the person they needed love from to dismiss them constantly.
So now? Love is feared. What if that person leaves? What if they change their mind?
What a fear to have.
