I Believe I Just Married a Narcissist, Now What?

Q: I believe that I have just married a narcissistic husband. He is a prison psychologist and politically connected w/ people like the governor of GA. I quit my high paying job. I don’t know what to do. I am already beginning to hate him for the emotional abuse. Any advice? Thank you, D

A: D, is there any way to get your job back or get another job? The more time you spend away from him the better. Please read as much as you can about narcissists including how to cope with them, what to do if you have to stay with them, what to expect if you decide to divorce him, etc. I can’t say it enough—get a support system! If you can’t discuss this with friends or family (or they are not helpful) then get professional advice and support from a therapist. Life is too short (but will seem terribly long) to live your life filled with hate.

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4 thoughts on “I Believe I Just Married a Narcissist, Now What?”

  1. This is how it is for me,npd mom and her golden child-exact games!I tried for years and cried for years.I am nothing but a scapegoat for a whole nest of narcissists! It is very painful to let go of the whole family,but the brutal truth is for your child,you have to let them go.I know its easier said than done.I have been trying to remain no contact for years,it’s hard.I am much like you and ALWAYS had that guilt,and wish for a real mom.I married a man just like her and he tried to kill me,when I tried to leave him!I have been in therapy for years.What made me snap was my mom starting in on my daughter,that was the final blow.I am a single Mom&have no one,but it’s the only way I can break the abuse cycles!Hugs to you and please find a therapist,it’s so helpful! Good luck!

  2. You did not give many details but the end result is the same. He has abused you enough so that you now feel no love for him whatsoever.
    Money and social status are no barrier for narcissistic behaviour. They are so full of themselves that you have become nothing more than a doormat to walk on.
    You must get out ASAP as things will never get better.

  3. I am so glad you are hating HIM for the emotional abuse he is causing you and not hating yourself. Some of us internalize what the abusers are saying and lose who we are. That can happen over time–even to those of us who are the most self-confident. Having been in your position, I strongly encourage you to GET OUT. As soon as possible, you should definitely get your old job back or a job so you are independent and not dependent on him. Remember that everything he is saying to you is a reflection of him and his issues and has nothing to do with you–no matter how personal his attacks might feel. Get out as soon as possible and make sure not to get pregnant by this man!


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