How To Tell You Are In The Wrong Relationship Within 1 Minute

It doesn’t matter how many times another person tells you that you’re in the wrong relationship…

…You will never understand until that moment. The light bulb goes on, and within seconds you are clearly aware that you are keeping the wrong company.

I want you to be able to tell that you’re in the wrong relationship, so you can get yourself out of it and find the right one.

Here’s how.

I Know You Want it To Be Real

When something forces us to look at our relationship, you can’t really go back from that.

It’s a hard day to wake up to, because all you want is for the two of you to work.

You want to love and be loved, and you want to matter to somebody as they matter to you. 

Wanting a relationship to be real and respectful is normal and all part of being human, and narcissists truly offer all of that when you first meet them.

They seem like they want it to be real, too. You believe them when they say they;ve never met anybody like you before, and why wouldn’t you? Good people apply good faith. 

In time, there will be that moment where it all makes sense.

When you know you were living within a lie.

When Time Passes

Victims of narcissistic abuse always regret the time they gave to a person who turned out to be abusive. 

The lucky ones escape quickly, within weeks or months, but for those less fortunate, much more time has gone down the drain of life. 

Time that you can’t get back. 

I still firmly believe that regardless of what time you’ve lost, you will always be able to salvage yourself and live the rest of your life abuse-free.

There has to be something good said for that, doesn’t there?

Nobody is in charge of time. We cannot slow it down, nor speed it up. We can take any of it back once it’s gone, nor predict what will happen within it in the future. 

Admitting When It’s Not Right

It can happen in just a moment, but once that moment comes and goes, I can assure you that whatever happens next will never be the same. 

When you admit it to yourself, you’re offering your heart a little way out of what once felt like an impossible situation.

To know you’ve got some reality coming through is a strong way of giving yourself a lifeline, here. 

How To Tell You’re In The Wrong Relationship: Five Steps to Freedom

I want you to use these steps to help you determine whether you are in the wrong relationship. 

I have a feeling if you’re here already, you might already know the answer to that question. 

#1 It Gets Physical For All The Wrong Reasons

If you think the relationship is wrong the moment the other person lays a single finger on you in whatever way that’s abusive – you’d be right.

What I will add to this is that physical abuse is just one form, and often the people who won’t tolerate the physical pain will put up with the emotional pain for years. 

Don’t be either – but if you’re being attacked – your relationship has no chance of surviving.

Any kind of physical abuse takes seconds, and in that time you will know that it’s over. 

#2 You Find Out They’re Cheating

Couples forgive cheating, and they learn from it and move on together. Some even become stronger after the disloyalty. 

Narcissists can’t reflect on cheating. They don’t see what they did wrong, and they will probably somehow blame you for what they did.

Don’t put up with any of that. If it happens, and has happened before, it’s time to call time. 

The relationship is going nowhere, and the sooner you admit that, the sooner you will be free from it. 

If you’ve been cheated on, you’ve been disregarded and treated like you aren’t important.

You deserve to be in a loving relationship, and not one where you are one of many. 

#3 Being Disrespected

Disrespected people often don’t leave after just one occasion, but it can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. 

All the times you’ve pushed their comments to one side, in the hope it’s just a bad day, or maybe they’re not feeling well, or perhaps actually, they’re right.

No. I don’t think you need to worry about any of that any more. 

Trust that you’re following your heart the moment it tells you to stop allowing the mistreatment to be the standard you set for yourself. 

Raise the bar on what you deserve, and as you do, you’ll find that no narcissist is ever going to reach it, let alone exceed it. 

#4 “You’re This…”

The criticism has been going on for a long time, and you’ve had just about enough of it. 

Something snaps inside you, and you make a promise to yourself that you will trust your gut and know that you’re in the wrong relationship.

God, you’re so annoying.

I can’t believe you actually like this show.

This is typical of you to try to ruin everything.

You’re just an average person.

I don’t even know why I’m with you. 

You’re too fat/thin.

You’re a terrible driver!

You can’t cook.

You’re useless.

The comments could go on and on, and fill a book.

But there will come a point when all it takes is one comment to change everything. 

#5 Where Did You Go?

You lost yourself.

You don’t know what happened or where you went. All you know is that you miss the old you, and you hate—or don’t even recognize—the person you’ve become. 

One day, you’ll look in the mirror and want them back. 

And I want to add here, that you can get a version of yourself back, with improvements if you want.

Those improvements are all the ways you learned to avoid narcissistic people.

That One Minute Makes All The Difference

It doesn’t last very long, does it?

Sixty seconds tick by and before you know it, time’s up.

I’m happy to say that yes – that can actually be all you need.

When The Narcissist’s Time is Up – So is Yours

All the time you’ve given to them stops the second you decided enough is enough.

And while you can’t claw back any of what you’ve handed out, you can trust that all time from here on out is yours to use in more positive ways. 

So look at it like this – a failed relationship is a lesson learned.