How To Tell Him You Miss Him Without Sounding Needy?

Last Updated on April 7, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

When you’ve just started dating a guy, and you’re not sure where the relationship is going, the last thing you want to do is push him away.

He’s cute, he’s financially stable, caring, and he’s got a bit of swagger. You’re really feeling him, it’s clear you enjoy each other’s company because you’ve been spending quite a bit of time together.

But this weekend, he had other plans, and now you’re stuck at home missing him. So what do you do? Do you tell him you miss him? or do you hold it back?

The problem is that emotions can cloud your judgment and you can run ahead of yourself. As soon as you feel something, you want to express it, but that’s not a good idea because you’re showing your boyfriend that you don’t know how to regulate your emotions.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with missing him, but you don’t want to come across as clingy, needy or desperate. If you want to know how to tell him you miss him without sounding needy, keep reading. 

Is It ok to Tell Someone You Miss Them?

Is It ok to Tell Someone You Miss Them?

Yes and no…let me explain. Some relationships move faster than others. It’s more than possible for a couple to fall in love within two weeks.

They’re totally into each other, it’s not forced, and it feels natural to the both of them. Sort of like a hand that fits perfectly in a glove. But then you’ve got the glove in the courtroom type of relationship.

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We all remember the OJ Simpson case when the glove just didn’t fit no matter how hard he tried.

And then there’s the “not quite sure” type of casual relationship where you’re both dipping your toes in the water and checking out the temperature. So you’re probably wondering how to tell him you miss him.

In the first example, it’s okay to say I miss you because you both know where you stand with each other.

In the second relationship, telling each other you miss each other is probably a major cringe moment.

And in the final example, since you’re not too sure of each other, it’s best that you wait until things are a bit more established so that you don’t scare him away. 

No matter what stage of the relationship you’re in, avoid overdoing it. You might want to send texts that you miss him every day, but don’t because it will only be a matter of time before he starts getting bored.

When you say the same thing over and over again, it loses its value. Tell your boyfriend you miss him or that he is sweet every once in a while. You never know, he might miss hearing it and end up telling you that he misses you. 

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When is it Becoming Clingy Or Desperate?

When you start blowing him up on every platform telling him how much you miss him. It starts with a text message, then a phone call, then an Instagram post!

When is it Becoming Clingy Or Desperate?

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It gets even worse when you start asking him if he misses you! Really? That’s just taking it too far, your lover should never feel forced to tell you he misses you, let it happen organically.

Another thing you should avoid is sulking when he doesn’t say it back. That’s probably the most off-putting thing you can do in a relationship, and it’ll only be a matter of time before he loses interest and goes elsewhere. 

He will respond eventually but it is important to give it time and don’t force it out of him

12 Ways to Tell a Guy You Miss Him Without Sounding Clingy Needy or Desperate?

12 Ways to Tell a Guy You Miss Him Without Sounding Clingy Needy or Desperate?

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “how do you tell someone you miss them without saying it or sounding desperate?

It’s a clever way to think because a man will lose interest very quickly hearing how much you miss them all the time.

But you can say you miss him, without actually saying you miss him, here’s how:

#1 Facetime Him

Depending on what he’s doing, facetime him instead of trying to send the perfect text.

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If you’re in a long-distance relationship and your new boo is used to you calling, or texting, face timing him is a great way of telling him you want to see him without actually saying it. 

#2 Make a Suggestion For Your Next Date

Making a suggestion for your next date is letting him know you had fun the last time and you want to see him again.

In this way, you’re actually killing two birds with one stone because if he catches the bait, he’s going to agree to take you out again. So this is how the conversation will go:

You: There’s a cafe not far from your house, and they make the best coffee cake 

I’ve ever tasted in my life. You should go and have lunch there some time. 

Him: I don’t think I’ve been there before, I might give it a try next weekend. 

You: Sounds good, I could do with another slice of coffee cake right now. It would be the perfect end to the night.

Him: Well maybe you can hold off until next weekend and we can go together, are you free? 

You: Sure. 

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This is a clever marketing tactic that involves selling the benefits of a product to encourage the consumer to make a purchase.

By telling him how delicious the coffee cake is, you’re letting him know what he’s going to get out of eating there.

#3 Send Him a Song You Both Like

Music makes the soul dance, it makes us feel, it brings back memories, and can trigger emotions in us we never knew existed.

If you met your partner at a bar, he might have approached you when a certain song was playing.

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Even though you’re not planning on walking down the aisle yet, you both feel something any time you hear the song again.

So on the day that you’re lying in bed missing him, invite him into your world by sending him a link to the song you first danced to and wait for his response.

#4 Send Him a Reminder

One of the most adorable compliments to give your partner is to indirectly say that you’ve got such a strong emotional connection to them that something reminded you of him.

It could be a funny joke, a picture, or even a smell. It lets him know that you weren’t just having random thoughts about him, there was something more behind it. 

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#5 Tell Him You Enjoy His Kisses

Even if you haven’t started having sex, men want to feedback about their performance. It’s probably a guy’s worst nightmare to hear that he can’t kiss because he basically knows he’s not getting past first base after that.

His thought process is going to be, “she’ll never sleep with me if she hates the foreplay.”

But if you tell him he’s a good kisser, he’ll want to keep kissing you to please you, and in hopes of taking things further. 

#6 Talk About Something They do Well

Let’s say your boyfriend is an awesome cook, I mean he’s so good that you can’t even single out a favorite dish because they’re all so delectable.

One night, you’re home alone and you’ve just finished cooking dinner. Take a photo of your freshly dished meal, send it to him and say something like, “this is good but how I wish I could have a plate of your chicken korma tonight (with a crying face emoji). 

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Contrary to popular belief, men love compliments, in fact, they thrive on it. They won’t fish for them, but it gives them a sense of pride when they’re told how well they’re doing.

You’re not being superficial and telling him how gorgeous he is, or how much you love his six-pack (if he’s got one). You’re recognizing, and celebrating his talents, and this will tug on his heartstrings.

After reminding him how much you love his cooking, you’ll never need to tell him you miss him again because he’ll be at yours every day cooking for you so you can continue telling him how great he is. 

#7 Text Him When You Wake up or Before You go to Bed

If you’ve been wondering how to tell a guy you miss him over text, here’s how. When you send him text messages when you wake up and before you go to bed, you’re letting him know that you’re thinking about it.

Everyone knows that they need to be pretty special to be on someone’s mind morning and night. But don’t do it twice in the day, the morning or the evening is enough.

And don’t have a long drawn-out conversation either, literally say, “good morning, I’ve just woke up,” or “good night, I’m going to bed.” You can add a few extras if you wish, but nothing too fancy

#8 Tease Him

And no I don’t mean sexually! Basically, you’re playing him at his own game, you’ve probably noticed that your boyfriend teases you sometimes.

That’s because men tease the women they like, and it’s been that way since they were boys. Did you ever get your pigtails pulled in the playground by that mean kid?

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He probably fancied you! Here are some of the best ways to tease your new lover in an endearing way that will let him know that you miss him:

#9 Give Him a Nickname

Silly nicknames are your own personal inside joke, they’re funny because there’s a reason why you chose that name. Maybe he has a terrible habit of locking himself out of the house and he always ends up having to break-in.

Your nickname for him might be, ‘prowler,’ or ‘housebreaker.’ You can tease him by sending him a random message and referring to him as his nickname. 

#10 Remind Him of His Bad Habits

You don’t want to offend your boyfriend, so make sure you tease him about a bad habit he can laugh about.

Let’s say he forgets to shave when he gets busy, turning the tease into a compliment by saying something like, “you’re definitely due for a shave, but I’m actually feeling the Santa Claus vibes.” 

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#11 Remind Him of a Time When You Beat Him at Something

Men are sore losers, and they hate it even more when they lose to their girlfriend.

If you’ve ever beat him at a computer game, hangman, or anything else, remind him who wears the trousers in that area every so often. 

#12 Say Something Cheesy

A cheesy statement will take the edge of things, and even make it appear as if you’re joking. He won’t take you seriously which means you won’t need to worry about feeling embarrassed. Here are a few statements you could use:

“I would most certainly pick you if you were a booger.” 

“I think I love you more than I love pizza.” 

“Aren’t you tired of running around in my mind so much?”

Recite the alphabet and miss out the ‘U’ and then say, “Oh I think I missed something, ‘U’. 

“The joke shouldn’t be why did the chicken cross the road? It should be, why do you always cross my mind?”

“ I really miss insulting you.” 

“It would be awesome if I could copy and paste you into bed with me.”

“I have mad fun thinking about you.” 

“Oh my goodness, I almost held a ceremony in memory of you.” 

Your boyfriend will probably laugh right along with you and try to come up with some cheesy statements of his own. 

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Final Thought

Now that you know how to tell him you miss him without sounding desperate, you can literally tell him you miss him all the time without making him feel uncomfortable or obligated to say it back.

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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