How to Tell a Guy You Like Him Without Scaring Him Off

Last Updated on April 21, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

You like a guy, and you want to know if he likes you. You’re usually self-assured, but you can’t seem to gather the courage to tell him you like him.

Join the club, sister. How do you tell a guy you like him without scaring him off or fooling yourself? Is it possible to check if he likes you without telling him?

How are you sure that you want him enough to take the risk of embarrassment? Questions are swirling through your mind!

How to tell him I like him?

Do You Really Like Him?

Let’s start with the obvious. What’s the best way to know if you truly like him? The first sign is that it feels natural to be around him. You won’t need to search around for topics to discuss or try to fill awkward silences.

The conversation should flow. Another signal is that your conversations will become deep. The third sign is that you think about him all the time. If he occupies your mind even when you’re out and doing other things, tell yourself you’re sprung.

Do You Really Like Him?

How to tell him I like him without getting rejected? Is that possible? Indeed it is possible—some guys like a confident girl, especially when they’ve been chasing her for a long time.

Yet, telling a guy that you like them in the early stages of dating can give a man the wrong impression. He might entertain the idea because the only reason he went out on a date with you was to have sex afterward. He wouldn’t even care if you expressed feelings for him, and he might string you along.

If he is looking for a potential life partner, telling him straight away might scare him off. He doesn’t think he’s done anything quite worthy of love.

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Again, he may come to the wrong conclusion. If you say you love him after the first few dates, he might wonder about the other guys you told the same. 

So the pressing questions here are, “How do I tell a guy that I like him?” “When and how should I tell him I like him?” or “Should I even tell him that I like him?”

Should You Tell a Guy You Like Him?

Is it okay to tell him I like him? Telling a guy that you have feelings for them is something you have to admit to when getting into a relationship.

A relationship cannot be one-sided, and men need validation as much as women. The real question here is when and should you be the first to tell him that you have feelings for him.

Should You Tell a Guy You Like Him?

Are you thinking about whether you should tell a guy that you like him? First, you need to make sure your feelings are those of love. How do you know you like this guy?

What about him do you like? Yes, we are all guilty of seeing someone and falling in love with their physical appearance. Yet, physical appearance can’t be the reason for wanting to tell a guy you like him.

Getting to know someone can take a while. That person may have captured you with their physical features.

Yet, it takes time, especially for women, to fall in love. Thus, telling a guy that you like him five minutes into the meeting can give him the wrong impression.

Women usually conceal their feelings for as long as they can in hope that they wouldn’t have to be the ones to confess to being in love.

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What Happens When You Tell a Guy You Like Him?

What happens when you tell a guy you like him? Are you scared that the outcome will not be as you want? It is not a bad idea to say to a guy how you feel.

It might be a good thing. He gets a platform to express his feelings. Yet, expressing feelings too early may turn a guy off as a man’s instinct is to chase.

Marie Claire Magazine says it best. “Guys love the hunt. So, we are fulfilling our destiny when we chase girls, even if we don’t win them over. The chase is fun and feels natural. We don’t respond well when we are being chased; we don’t know what to do.”

Have you been talking for a while? Are things getting more intimate between you? Then it’s okay to let him know how you feel.

Try to be subtle with your words and keep him guessing, however. It can drive a man crazy when he has to put the pieces together. Here are four things that can come from expressing your feelings to him.

What Happens When You Tell a Guy You Like Him?

#1 He asks you out on a date

Now that he knows how you feel, he may feel more comfortable asking you out. He may have thought you were already in a relationship. He may have also felt that you’re out of his league. Thus, he never thought to approach you until you did it first.

Some men have become super cautious with chasing women. This trend started because of compared to a decade ago. People have become sensitive, and they get offended by the simplest things.

#2 You become his girlfriend

Tell him how much you like him, and you may become his girlfriend. It has happened to many women before.

In any case, expressing your feelings to a guy, as a woman, doesn’t mean that you love him more than he loves you. Instead, it shows that you dared to act on your feelings. Something that he didn’t dare to do.

If he is into you, he will try his best to make up for that so that you wouldn’t feel lonely in the relationship. He might admire you for your self-confidence and try to match it so that he doesn’t lose you.

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#3 You end up getting married in the future

Imagine you are so afraid of rejection that you miss out on your future husband—passing up a possible opportunity for a happy life.

Why? Because you were too scared. That sounds bizarre. It may sound surprising, but many would-be couples have experienced this.

#4 He lets you know he isn’t interested

Being told that a guy is not interested in you can be somewhat devastating.

Yet, it clears the air so that you can get over him. Hiding your feelings would only prolong the grief. Seeing him with other girls and wondering if he likes them or if they are dating can be annoying.

How to Tell a Guy You Like Them? (Face to Face)

When telling a guy in person that you have feelings for them, it can be not easy, especially for women.

Women have become used to being the ones sought after and chased. Yet, if a guy is not making any moves even though he seems interested, you should ask yourself why.

It may be because he thinks you are already in a relationship. Or maybe he doesn’t think he is in your league.

Many men don’t abide by the rule of respecting the taken woman, whereas others do.

Whatever the reason is, you want him to know how you feel so that he might have the platform to tell you his feelings. Here are five tips to help you express your affection for him without feeling like a fool.

How to Tell a Guy You Like Them (Face to Face)?

#1 Form a friendship with him

It is much easier to tell a guy that you like him when you are already friends. You both know each other. So, he will see that you don’t base your feelings on physical appearance but on personality.

Being friends first may take away the fear or awkwardness. It can also help you to express your feelings. 

You also need to know that telling him your feelings can make things awkward if he doesn’t like you back. For this reason, some experts warn against dating your friends. Still, it is a good strategy for many reasons, so we’ve included it here.

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#2 Watch for signs

Look out for signs that can give you a pretty good idea if your love interest likes you or not. Does he try to talk to you often, or is he oblivious to your existence? These little things can tell you much about what a person thinks about you inside.

Does he look at you at random moments and smile? How close of a friendship do you have with this guy? It would make it much easier if you already have some form of connection with him.

First, you would be surer of your feelings for him. Second, he would be more comfortable with you. Also, the possibility of him feeling the same would be higher.

#3 Ask around first

Telling your love interest straight away is not wise if you want to avoid rejection. Women usually tend to gather the evidence. They want facts before even thinking of exposing their feelings.

So ask your friends or even his friends about details of his life. In that way, you can collect valuable information. For instance, you may learn that he is not in a current relationship.

So since there aren’t other women involved, the chances of rejection are less likely.

Ask around about his love life and what he likes to do. These details can help you confess your feelings more quickly due to shared interests.

#4 Start with subtlety

Approach the conversation with subtlety. This approach is crucial if you don’t already have a friendship with the guy. Blurting out your feelings may not be the best approach to take.

Men like to take on a challenge. So, giving them something to think about would leave them with more questions. He may grow attracted to you even more by this approach.

#5 Don’t confess too much

Saying less is more, especially when expressing your feelings to men.

Keep the conversation short, giving him room to assume. Flirtatious eye contact and body movement are vital to bringing across your point.

If you confess too much, it may embarrass you if he rejects your advances. Saying less is always saying more. 

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How to Tell a Guy You Like Them Through Text?

“How do I tell a guy I like him through text?” Constant communication with a guy over text is already a big sign that you are interested in him.

Women usually ignore guys they are not interested in and don’t even respond to those texts. If you are open to simple conversations with him, then he might have an idea of your feelings for him.

Telling him straight away that you like him may not be the best approach.

If he isn’t already in love with you, he might never reach that point because you killed the thrill of the chase. These tips can help you tell a guy you like him.

How to Tell a Guy You Like Them Through Text?

It is better to tell him in person

It would be best to tell someone how you feel about them in person and not over text messages.

Anyone can lie over text messages, but it is harder to lie in person as many other ways to tell.

Body language is a huge sign that can tell you all you need to know about how a person sees you. His mouth can say he likes you, but his body language can differ. Telling him you like him in person may be the best way to tell a guy you like him.

Are you more of an introvert? Then you might not feel comfortable with the physical approach method.

Women who are introverts are usually the ones to wait on the guys to make the first move. If that is the case, then that is okay. It is better if the guy admits his feelings for you first. 

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How Do You Tell a Guy You Like Him Without Actually Telling Him?

Can you tell a guy you like him without actually telling him? How do you get him to like you, especially if you are in your feminine mode?

You’re not about to approach him and straightforwardly say it to him. So what else can you do to express interest in a guy? Following are twelve things you can do to hint that you are in love with him.

How Do You Tell a Guy You Like Him Without Actually Telling Him?

#1 Acting extra girly around him

Bringing out your feminine side around him could signify that you like him and can even make him like you.

Why? Because your feminine side may bring out his masculine side. For instance, if you were not with him, you might not have a big reaction when an insect is near you.

Yet, your response is different when you are around the guy you like. You portray feminine behavior, whether screaming or running away from the insect. And you’re only doing it due to your liking for the guy.

Guys like to feel heroic when it comes to women. Even small things can make men feel this way.

So if you act feminine, it would bring out his masculinity if he offers to get rid of the problem. Doing this may trigger a liking for you.

#2 Getting touchy with him

“How do I tell a guy I like him?” If he is someone within your circle of friends, you might want to break the touch boundary.

The same goes for if he’s someone you can find yourself in a situation with without it being awkward.

Still, you need to be sure that you and this guy are close enough in the friendship that it wouldn’t scare him off. Guys usually like being touchy-feely with women.

But if he is a stranger to you, he might feel uncomfortable. For all you know, he may have a girlfriend or a wife.

Assuming that he finds your being touchy attractive, it might be the sign he needs to know that you like him. Yet, I do not recommend you do this on the first few dates because he might see you as a hookup.

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#3 Text him first

Messaging a guy first makes him believe that you are interested in talking to him.

When you text him first, it brings him to the conclusion that you may like him. Guys get excited when the girl they like messages them first now and again.

It makes guys feel as if you like talking to them. Still, remember, guys like a chase. So do everything in moderation, including texting first.

#4 Smile/blush every time you see him

When a guy sees you smiling or blushing when he approaches you, it gives him a sense of reassurance.

It tells him whether you are into him. Facial expressions can tell someone a lot about what someone is thinking at the moment. Grinning and blushing is an indication of a pleasant feeling. Laugh at their humorous jokes

#5 Laugh

Laughing is a common thing women do when they like a guy. Making him feel like his jokes are funny even if they may not be. You may touch his arm for emphasis. It can also make him gain feelings for you as well.

#6 Feel free to be shy around him

According to regain.us “Some men may adore shy women, and they may think that they are incredibly cute.

When a girl is a bit shy, it may give her an endearing quality that many men will find irresistible. Of Course, not every individual will feel this way about shy girls, but many do.”

Many women do not have self-confidence or bravery around the guys they like. Nervousness and shyness are signs of admiration and love.

You can know a lot about what a person feels by their body language and awkward moments. That is why it is easier to tell if a person loves you when you meet them face to face.

Do you feel shy around him? That’s one of the best ways to know if you like him. Even the loudest people can become nervous around the right person.

Introverts may find being shy easier to do than extroverts. Why? Because the latter type is more outgoing and talkative. The difference in human personalities can make detecting feelings hard. Sometimes two people have different characters.

So, they may not consider the signs of the other as an attraction. That is where love language comes in.

If you are too afraid to go up to him in person, you can take a different route. Write him a note, send him a message, tell him through a mutual friend. There are many ways to tell someone that you have feelings for them.

#7 Offer to do things for him

Whether it is to babysit his dog or grab his mail at the post office, you tend to want to be helpful in any way.

But beware. This strategy is least effective for a guy that doesn’t have feelings for you. But, if a guy has feelings for you, he might be more comfortable expressing them.

Women don’t usually offer to do things for guys if they have no interest in them. Thus, he’ll most likely take your kindness to mean something more profound. His response to your aid will give you an idea about whether he feels the same for you.

If he accepts the help and offers to help you out sometime, it could be that he likes to be around you.

But be careful that he isn’t using you for favors. If he wants you, there are some things he shouldn’t agree to often. Instead, he should offer to help you out somehow or even ask you on a date to thank you. His taking this approach can hint to you if he feels the same.

#8 Talk to him when he needs advice

You talk to him when he needs advice on his relationships, life, and career. You can talk about anything, and you are always there when he needs a shoulder to lean on. It is a sign to him that you care about his physical and his mental state.

Guys love supportive women. They like when their women help them become better versions of themselves.

If he notices that you are trying your best to be there, he will realize you care for him. Talking to him about things he wouldn’t tell others gives you more connection. Spending time with him will also achieve that.

#9 Spend time with him

According to Refineary29 “It’s 2019, yet when it comes to asking someone out on a date, there’s still a lot of pressure for women who are interested in men to wait to be asked.”

Yet, if a guy notices that you like having him around, he might catch on to your wanting him. Guys like it when you need and appreciate them. So tell him that you enjoyed the evening after you both went out. It gives him the impression that you are into him.

The more time you both spend together, the stronger the connection you’ll have. It can even give your intended beau a chance to fall in love with you if he hasn’t already.

Hanging out can also make it easier to express your feelings to him. His reaction to a lighthearted “I like you, you’re a pretty cool dude” can give you all the information you need. He might express feeling the same way about you.

#10 Show interest in his work

He might be an Artist or a Rapper. Whatever he is into, you can hint to him that you like him by showing interest in his work.

It can mean going to the shows he takes part in or buying what he is selling. Showing him that you love what he does can make him feel that there is a connection between you both. Being supportive is something all guys want apart from loyalty and love.

You should show an interest in what he likes if you are in love with him. Why would you even find him likable if you despise what he does?

Many people find bringing up someone’s accomplishment an easy conversation starter. It gives the person a chance to open up to you about the things they do and even personal aspects.

According to Glamour Magazine, “Remember what you talked about the last time you saw each other, and ask them how things turned out the next time you see each other.”

This simple action is an easy way to keep in touch with the guy, especially if you have just met him.

#11 Compliment him now and then

How do you confess feelings to a guy? You should try praising him. He might have gotten a new haircut or put on a nice suit for the gala. You usually give him small compliments here and there, whatever they may be.

It mightn’t seem like a big deal, but many guys love compliments. It makes them feel special, especially if it comes from someone they like.

Compliments are a good way to hint that you like him and a great way to see if he feels the same. Does he blush when you compliment him? He might try to keep the image you compliment.

For instance, you may say, “pink looks good on you,” then for the whole week, he wears something pink.

According to MomJunction.com “If you like a guy, sharpen your flirting skills and use them. Compliment him on his new shirt, his smile, looks, or intelligence.

Let him know you admire his attributes and qualities. Tease him or use his quirky habits or unique preferences to pull his leg. Making him smile is a great way to make a place in his heart.”

If you don’t know how to tell him how you feel try giving compliments.

#12 Flirt with him

A more robust approach would be flirting and saying things that will make him realize your motive. Many girls flirt when they like a guy or find him attractive.

They grab their attention by tossing their hair or seductively watching him.

According to lovepanky.com, “Another way to show a guy that you like him and still be a tease is by exuding confidence. Men love confident women, as it amps up your sex appeal.”

Yet, this usually gives the guy the impression that you are looking for a hookup and nothing more.

Making eye contact when speaking to him and smiling a lot around him is a more subtle way to express interest. It is a more normal way of flirting on a regular day.

You should not feel nervous when wanting to flirt. It should be natural if you have feelings for the guy.

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What if He Doesn’t Like You Back?

How do you tell a guy you like him without getting rejected? The truth is you cannot know for sure. Different people like different things and react in different ways.

Some guys might consider your feelings. They might find excuses about why they cannot be in a relationship. Other guys may not be so discreet.

What if He Doesn’t Like You Back?

The thought of embarrassment brought on by the rejection of a guy is a horror for many women. It can be a hard blow for the ones whom men usually chase.

For this reason, many women tend to show their interest in a guy in subtle ways. Yet, if you tell a guy that you like him and he doesn’t feel the same way, that is okay. It is better than him being oblivious of your feelings for him.

According to healthline.com, “Acknowledgment and acceptance are important first steps in the healing process. Crushes are normal, even ones on people you know you’d never pursue.

Pushing down your feelings can prevent you from working through them in productive ways. Instead, they might linger, causing more heartache.”

There is no harm in finding another love interest. As the saying goes, there is plenty of fish in the sea. Getting rejected is not the worst thing in the world. But, to protect your dignity, you should wait until he shows you signs that he likes you.

If he likes to spend time with you, you can conclude that he’s interested in you. The same goes for if he compliments you on your physical appearance.

Thus, it would be good to tell him how you feel. If he has shown no interest in you, you might want to get over your feelings for him. Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same towards you can be very hurtful. It can also be embarrassing in the long run.

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Astrid Mitchell

I am, above all else, a writer. I am also part of the Caribbean Freedom Fighters Movement, and I’ve performed in several of their monthly virtual events. Since I started telling stories, I have been enjoying my new adventures. It has allowed me to embrace a new reality, and I love it!  But I am also a writer of creative nonfiction. I have certifications in Creative Writing, Creative Nonfiction, and Storytelling from the University of the West Indies. I also have an associate degree in Social Sciences from T.A. Marryshow Community College.  I was born and grew up in St. George’s, Grenada. I am married with one daughter. I attended St. Joseph’s Convent, where I learned the crafts of writing and drama. I still have a passion for acting.  I also manage a freelance agency, which provides writing and data entry services to clients worldwide. Find out more info about my pursuits on www.astridmitchell.com. 

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