Do you want to take your flirting to the next level? Lightly teasing a woman can be one of the best ways to connect with your crush and deepen your relationship.
Of course, if you want it to be effective, you need to know what to do (and what to avoid). Here’s everything you need to know about how to tease a woman.
Why Should You Tease Girls?
Believe it or not, teasing isn’t just a flirting strategy. Friends do it, coworkers do it, siblings do it- people naturally poke fun at each other as a way of non-aggressive social connection. It’s an extension of other social skills, and research shows this playful behavior has significant evolutionary roots.
In some ways, fun teasing can be just as effective as engaging in serious, meaningful talk. However, there tends to be less pressure and awkwardness- especially when you’re just getting to know someone.
Teasing isn’t just limited to intimate relationships. Research also shows that even infants enjoy the positive reactions associated with nonverbal teasing. Just think about how much they light up when a parent “pretends” to drink their milk or when a loved one engages in a game of peek-a-boo.
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In our adult lives, teasing is just another way to connect and show affection. When done effectively with a girl, it’s harmless and exciting- it shows that she’s on your mind. And when you’re interested in someone, it’s an intentional method that helps cultivate sexual tension.
That said, if you’re already in a secure relationship, research shows that being silly with your partner may be the key to long-term happiness. Playfulness encourages laughter and makes us feel safe with one another. It can also loosen up difficult situations and remind you that your partner has your back.
How to Tease a Girl Physically?
Physical teasing refers to how you physically engage with someone as a way of connecting. Believe it or not, it has very little to do with direct sex! Instead, it has to do with building anticipation and creating an exciting narrative about your relationship.
When done well, teasing a girl physically can drive her wild with desire. It’s almost a form of foreplay before engaging in actual foreplay- a way to keep her wanting more without starting anything real.
Give Her Long Hugs
Most people love a good hug, and you should take your hugging responsibilities very seriously when you first get to know someone!
To give good hugs, you want to make a warm, approachable embrace. Make eye contact, smile as you lean in, open your arms widely, and try to capture the mindset that she’s the only person who matters to you right now!
A bear hug- which tends to be the most connecting type- means you fully immerse yourself in the embrace. This means holding her tight, squeezing her a bit (if needed), and having no shame in showing how much you care about her!
Move Gently When Things Get Hot
Don’t just dive in with touching her. Take your time. Take it all very slowly. In fact, you should intentionally go as slow as you can.
Light, gentle touches (whether you’re kissing her, holding her hand, or just touching her arm) can raise levels of oxytocin and serotonin. These feel-good hormones heighten arousal and can cause her to think about you all day.
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Build Her Anticipation
Let her know how excited you are to see her later. Tell her how you can’t wait to enjoy your time together.
If you two are already pretty comfortable with one another, don’t be afraid to be more explicit. While men are more visual creatures, women love imagining things in their minds. Describing exactly what you want to do will make for a perfect fantasy.
Master Her Erogenous Zones
Erogenous zones refer to the sensitive parts of the body. These parts are basically the “hot spots,” and they can be genital or extragenital. Research shows that women typically have more erogenous zones than men.
Some typical (but possibly unexpected) erogenous zones are:
- Back of the neck
- Inner thighs
- Lower abdomen
- Behind the knee
- Inner arms
Not sure what her zones are? Start exploring! Notice where she flinches, sighs, or even giggles. Those spots probably indicate erogenous zones!
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10 Playful Flirting Examples
Playful teases can help build a strong foundation. But knowing how to tease someone appropriately is essential. You don’t want to unintentionally harm or offend someone- and you certainly don’t want to come across as either arrogant or creepy. Off-putting behaviors won’t get you any further than a bad first date.
Here’s how to poke fun while showing her that you’re definitely interested!
#1 Give Her a Fun Nickname
Don’t just call her cutie or babe. Those work, but they are generic and may even come across as generic or condescending.
Instead, consider giving her a silly name based on a charming characteristic she has. For example, if she’s always drinking coffee, your nickname might be mocha. If she loves swimming, the nickname could be fishie.
Of course, you need to gauge her reaction as you use this name. If you get a laugh out of her, or if she seems honored, you’re probably good to keep calling her that. But if she winces or cringes, stop using it.
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#2 Embrace a Roleplay With Her
Don’t be afraid to embrace the concept of fantasy when you’re together!
Oh, you like country music. I can’t tolerate that- we’re done!
Damn, look at that outfit! Do I even know this woman?
Okay, I’m going to pretend to be your tutor this afternoon. That means you need to listen to exactly what I say! Be a good student!
#3 Stereotype Her in a Playful Way
A city girl, huh? I bet you walk faster than I do!
So, you’re into cooking? What delicious dinner do you want to make me tonight?
A dancer? I bet you’re good at other flexible things, too…
In general, when teasing her, stereotypes should always be playful and appropriate. You’re giving her the chance to either agree or disagree with your claim. Regardless of her response, you’ll likely learn something new about her. And she might just have her own stereotype to throw back in your face!
That said, don’t comment on something that feels uncomfortable. You don’t want to criticize someone’s character or personality- that is insensitive and possibly a form of harassment.So, if she shows any sort of adverse reaction to your joke, avoid defensiveness and make sure to apologize for your wrongdoing.
#4 Pretend to Be Annoyed With a Quirk You Love
If she knows you love her singing, you might roll your eyes and jokingly say, Oh, there you go showing off again the next time she starts belting out her favorite song in the shower.
If she bakes you delicious cookies, you might take a bite and announce, These are terrible. I wouldn’t be surprised if they completely disappeared tonight!
While this kind of humor can feel a little immature, it’s a relatively foolproof way to make someone smile. You’re indirectly complimenting her, and she knows it!
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#5 Find Reasons to Lovingly Mess With Her
Toying with her routine can be a subtle way to tease. It can be as easy as moving just one item out of place in her home office. Or you can switch her phone wallpaper to a silly picture of you. Maybe you even get her a small candy (that you know she despises) and pack it in her lunch.
Whatever it is, harmless pranks are a great way to tease someone without making things awkward or uncomfortable. You’re entering her world and making a subtle mark (without causing any real damage). Just keep in mind that she’ll probably want to retaliate!
#6 Let Her Know She’s Lucky
Well, aren’t you lucky to be spending time with me tonight!
Women like confidence, and having a sense of self-respect can go a long way when it comes to flirting with someone. Of course, this is just an easy and good-natured way to make her smile. You don’t want to come across as overly arrogant.
#7 Accuse Her of Hitting on You
Well, well, well, aren’t we being flirty today?
I think you’re totally hitting on me right now.
I know I look good today. You can stop checking me out right now!
These playful teases can be a fun way to engage in some flirtatious reverse psychology. With this strategy, you’re basically calling her out for doing the very things you’re likely doing!
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#8 Pretend You’re Already Together
We’ll definitely have to travel there next summer.
Let’s go there for dinner next month. What should we order?
Oh, my mom is just going to totally love you. I can’t wait until she meets you.
Pretending you’re already together is a subtle way to show her you do want to be together! It’s also playful, fun, and inviting. You’re testing the waters to see how she responds to your obvious requests at planning future events!
#9 Establish Inside Jokes
Inside jokes can be the bonding agent when you’re first getting to know someone. An inside joke is exclusive- ideally, it’s only something the two of you would understand.
So, don’t be afraid to highlight funny moments after they happen. For example, if you two had really slow service at a restaurant on a recent date, you might send her a text the next time you’re there. I’m at ____ again. Guess I won’t be eating for another three hours!
#10 Gently Poke Fun at Things She Already Laughs At
If she repeatedly bashes herself for something (like being terrible with directions or always misplacing her keys), you can use that humor to your advantage!
Oh boy, you’re driving us today…who knows where we’re going to end up?
Should I hold your keys? We don’t want them to end up in the refrigerator again!
If you try this technique, it’s best to do it only after you’ve witnessed her making fun of herself a few times over a particular quirk.
You don’t want to draw attention to something that makes her feel insecure or sensitive. That will come across as rude and off-putting, and it could trigger immense shame!
11 Teasing Text Examples
There’s a true art to flirting over text. If you master it, you build anticipation and keep her on her toes. In addition, teasing women by texting them can be an easy way to break the ice when you’re first getting to know someone.
Here are some ways to do it.
#1 “I’m Not Thinking About You At All!”
The next time you want to playfully tease a woman, consider sending her this short line:
I’’m not thinking about you at all right now!
It’s a great way to show her that, of course, she’s on your mind! It also opens an opportunity for her to respond back playfully.
#2 “This Totally Reminds Me of You”
This kind of text is best when you’re sending her a photo, meme, or some kind of link to a story. Ideally, it’s solidifying an inside joke between the two of you.
Depending on your strategy, it can be a sarcastic, playful take on your relationship- or it can be a sweet way to let her know that you think about her often!
#3 “I Still Don’t Understand Why You’re Even Talking to Me!”
Girls are often drawn to funny guys, and self-deprecating humor can be a great way to tease someone. This kind of leading question also fleshes out some of their thoughts about you.
For example, if you send a girl that kind of text, she might respond with a flirty or snappy response like,
Well, I have nothing better to do, or, I know, right? Aren’t you lucky!
Either way, her response opens a wide path for how you can next respond.
#4 “Can You Guess What I’m Thinking About Right Now?”
It doesn’t really matter what you’re thinking about. What matters is that you’re encouraging her to guess, and who knows where her imagination will go!
This can be a fun and easy way to flirt with someone. If she’s interested, there’s also a good chance that she’ll want you to guess what she’s thinking about, too.
#5 “You Are So ____”
It’s up to you (and the context) whether you call her hot, sexy, cute, or adorable. But telling her that you find her irresistible is almost always going to land well!
And while these statements are more of direct compliments (and not subtle teases), using them is an easy way to let her know exactly how attractive you find her!
#6 “I Can’t Wait To___”
I can’t wait to see you tonight.
I can’t wait until you’re back from your trip.
I can’t wait to go to that party with you this weekend.”
The “I can’t wait” formula is more direct than the average, light-hearted teasing. However, you can turn it into a teasing game by telling her silly things you can’t wait to do.
I can’t wait until your mom leaves for the night…then, it’s just us. Or, I can’t wait for you to get out of that dumb meeting, either!
#7 “Why Are You So ____”
Funny? Amazing? Perfect?
It doesn’t matter what the complimentary word is (as long as you authentically believe it). Posing this as a question will undoubtedly make her feel flattered. She will be instantly reminded that you think very positively of her.
#8 “I Can’t Believe You ___”
I can’t believe you actually went to work today!
I can’t believe you’re even texting me back.
I can’t believe you ate that old pizza for dinner!
If you just want to keep the conversation going, telling her you can’t “believe something” is an easy, funny way to do it.
Of course, you should avoid touchy subjects or blatant insults with this strategy. For example, you wouldn’t want to say something like, I can’t believe you were late to work again if you know she feels insecure about her time management.
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#9 “Want to FaceTime?”
We all know that calling or video chatting with someone is much more intimate than just texting them. After all, listening to someone’s voice (or seeing their face) is genuinely personal.
So, if you ask this kind of question, it’s showing that you want to take the conversation to the next level. You don’t just want to text back-and-forth. You want to be as close to them as possible!
#10 “I Think You’re a Little Obsessed With Me!”
This is a bold text, but teasing a girl about how she feels about you can inadvertently make her feel flattered. For one, she can likely intuit that you’re teasing her (because she knows that you know she has feelings).
It also builds anticipation as you wait for her response. She might agree with you or argue back playfully. Regardless, her reply opens the door for witty, connecting banter.
#11 “I’m Shocked You Would ___”
Eat sushi for breakfast? Go to bed at 7:00 pm? Call out of work to watch TV?
No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s no doubt that your partner occasionally surprises you. So make it a point to announce it when it happens (as long as the surprises are benign and harmless).
It’s a funny, playful way to start a conversation and show her that you pay attention to her behavior. But, of course, avoid this kind of teasing altogether if you know she feels sensitive or embarrassed about the change!
How To Tease a Girl Sexually
Sexual teasing can take your relationship to a whole new level. When done well, it’s flirtatious, seductive, and exciting.
It represents its own form of foreplay, and it can keep things fun and enjoyable for both of you. Here are some tips to keep in mind.
Text Her When She Least Expects It
Whether she’s caught up in an important meeting at work or attending a family reunion, it can be fun (and naughty!) to reach out to her when you know you won’t be seeing her for a while. She will know that she’s on your mind- and she will probably now have you on her mind in return!
Send Her a Flirty Picture
They say that pictures tell a thousand words, and that can certainly be true when it comes to spicing up your sex life.
Even just making the bed, fluffing the pillows, and sending her a picture with the caption, All that’s missing is you is enough of an invitation!
And don’t be afraid to show yourself! Whether it’s a shirtless selfie or a picture of you simply smiling with the caption, Can’t wait to see you, you’re making it known that you wish she were right there with you right now.
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Of course, unless you really know what she wants, don’t just jump into sending nudes or other inappropriate pictures. Unsolicited photos don’t come across as sexy or fun- instead, girls often perceive them as aggressive, creepy, or downright rude.
Give Her a Massage
Most people will never turn down a sexy massage, but when was the last time you really relished her body in such an intentional, slow way? A massage is a great way to do exactly that.
And don’t just jump to trying to pleasure her sexually. Let her relax and enjoy your touch!
If you’re not sure how to give a great massage, keep these pointers in mind:
- Let them get in a position that feels most comfortable to them
- Use oil or lotion to make for a more sensual experience
- Try to use your entire hand while massaging
- Keep your back straight and use your body weight to apply pressure to the massage
- Keep checking in to assess the firmness of your touch
- If she seems to be enjoying one type of touch, keep doing that one!
Do Everything But
If you know exactly what turns her on, use that to your advantage…by holding out. In other words, take your time to get her aroused. Think of this as the “pre-foreplay foreplay.” You’re building her anticipation and getting her really ready for the main event.
If she starts trying to move quickly, insist that you want to slow it down. Let her know you have all the time in the world. Make it a point to intentionally drive her wild. You might be surprised by how well she physically and emotionally responds to these delays!
Act As You’ve Never Had Sex
When was the last time you two really got excited about having sex? Better yet, when was the last time you committed to long and intentional foreplay, the kind where you aren’t sure if all that touch will actually lead to sex?
The truth is that many committed partners fall into sexual ruts once they’ve been together for a while. While there is nothing wrong with having a familiar routine to sex, that pattern can become stale quickly.
So, if you usually jump straight to sex, think about how you used to be before sex was so accessible or automatic. Maybe spend some serious time just making out or dry-humping with your clothes on. Even if those physical moments lead to sex (and that can definitely be the goal!), it puts a whole new angle on how you two respond to one another.
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Ask Her What She Wants to Try Tonight
Tell her that you want to try something new, but put the ball in her court by asking her what she thinks sounds fun.
If you try this technique, you can’t make the mistake of dismissing or laughing at her suggestion! As long as it feels safe and appropriate, be open to the novelty!
Talk Dirty to Her During the Act
When you two are in the bedroom together, don’t be afraid to level things up a notch. Describing what you’re doing, moaning her name, telling her how good things feel- these are all ways you can talk dirty and keep things exciting.
Bring It Up Afterward
If the two of you had mind-blowing sex, don’t just keep it a secret! Instead, let her know exactly what you enjoyed, and make it a point to remind her that you’re looking forward to doing it again.
It’s a misconception that only men care about their sexual performance and want to be praised for their skills in the bedroom. Girls can certainly feel insecure after having sex, especially when you’ve just started dating. So, make it known how much you loved your time together!
Teasing a girl is a fun way to get to know someone while also letting them know that you’re interested. When done appropriately, it can keep relationships fresh and exciting.
Remember that the best teasing is the kind that feels authentic and down-to-earth. If it feels forced, don’t push it! But if the mood is right, and all the vibes feel right, enjoy the laughter!
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Last Updated on March 8, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester