How To Play Hard To Get With a Guy You’ve Already Slept With?

Last Updated on April 15, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

How to play hard to get with a guy you’ve already slept with? is a common question amongst women because they know that keeping his attention can be difficult once they’ve had Sex with a man. 

But there is hope if you don’t call him, don’t get clingy, and make him feel needed. In this day and age, Sex is dispensable. 

Men and women have such easy access to sexual partners that to a lot of people, there’s no value in Sex anymore. That’s why as a woman, you’ve got to know how to play the game so that you won’t need to ask yourself the question, is he still interested after sleeping with me? 

Unfortunately, for most men, females are too predictable. After Sex, some of them get really clingy and start pressuring the guy for a relationship. 

To a man, that’s very unappealing; remember, men are hunters; they enjoy chasing women, even after sleeping with them. 

If you know how to keep him interested, he’ll keep chasing. 

Keep reading if you want to know how to play hard to get with a guy you’ve already slept with.

11 Ways To Play Hard To Get With A Guy You’ve Already Slept With

So you’ve slept with the guy you’ve been dating, now what? 

In your mind, you’re thinking “I slept with a guy too soon how do I keep him interested? 

You can most definitely still play hard to get with a man after Sex by not calling him, not getting clingy, and making him feel needed. Think about it like this; you’re practicing for being in a long-term relationship. 

11 Ways To Play Hard To Get With A Guy You've Already Slept With

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Once couples become familiar with each other, and neither partner is making an effort, the spark disappears. 

One way to keep the flame burning is to play hard to get. Keep reading if you want to know how to play hard to get with a guy you’ve already slept with. 

#1 Don’t Call Him

There is a chance he won’t call you after Sex because he’s just as confused as you. 

He doesn’t know whether you want a relationship or whether you’re cool with just Sex. Instead, because he doesn’t want to damage his ego, he’ll stay silent and see if you call him first. 

Or he might be all about the timing, and he’s testing you to see how long you can go without hearing from him. 

On the other hand, he could be the type of guy who lets things cool down for a couple of weeks to see where his head’s at. Remember, it takes men longer to process their emotions

He may have strong feelings for you, but he wants to make sure it’s not the good Sex that’s dictating how he feels. 

Instead of staring at the phone waiting for him to call you, get on with your life. If the time is right, go out with your friends and go on vacation. 

If he follows you on social media, make sure you’re posting plenty of pictures showing how much of a great time you’re having. 

#2 Don’t Get Clingy

If you’re wondering how to keep him interested after Sex, not getting clingy will definitely help. 

According to psychotherapist Susan Axtell, men are turned off by clingy women because it makes them seem insecure. 

By the way, it’s totally normal to feel insecure at the start of a relationship because you don’t know where you stand. However, this only becomes a problem when you express those insecurities. 

Asking demanding questions about his whereabouts and female friends makes him defensive. So questions of this nature are big red flags. 

Additionally, being too interested in what he’s got going on makes it seem as if you don’t have a life. No man wants to be with a woman who has to be with him every second of the day, no matter how much he likes her. 

So if you can’t get too clingy, what can you do? Susan Axtell says you should let the relationship evolve by itself. 

It takes two to tango, but if you’re going to keep him interested after Sex, acting like a desperate housewife isn’t the answer. 

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#3 Make Him Feel Needed

It’s a scientific fact that men need to feel needed in a relationship, and if they don’t, they’ll go elsewhere. A

ccording to relationship psychologist James Bauer, it’s called the ‘hero instinct.‘ What men want more than Sex is to feel like a hero. He doesn’t want to bed-hop; he wants a committed relationship with a woman he can serve. 

He wants to be a protector and a provider, and he wants to feel appreciated for the things he does for his woman. The hero instinct is his primal desire; it’s how his heart and mind work. 

So after Sex, make him feel like a hero by asking for help. Even if you can open the jar of jam yourself, ask him to open it for you. 

This is the perfect time to compliment him and tell him how strong he is and how much you appreciate him opening the jar for you. 

#4 Don’t Ask About Your Relationship Status

Asking about your relationship status is another way of displaying clingy behavior. 

By doing this, you’re laying all your cards out on the table and indirectly saying that you want a relationship. A lot of men interpret that question as “she’s trying to lock me down.” 

Men don’t want to feel pressured into being in a relationship, and they’ll run a mile. If you want to know where the relationship is heading, pay attention to how he treats you. 

Does he only call you at night? Does he only contact you when he’s got nothing better to do? 

Actions speak louder than words, and even if he doesn’t verbalize your relationship status, his behavioral patterns will let you know. 

#5 Be Unavailable

Become a mystery to him. Instead of answering after the first ring, when he calls, don’t answer at all. 

Give him the chance to miss you; remember, men like to chase, and being at his beck and call is no fun to him. 

If he knows he can call you any time night or day and you’ll come running, he’ll lose interest very quickly because he’ll assume that’s how you are with every man. 

On the other hand, if you’re hard to reach, he’ll want to know why and keep pursuing you. 

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#6 Leave After Sex

Leaving after Sex is a great tactic to get him to chase you. In general, men make assumptions about what women want from men. 

Apparently, all women are super needy and want to settle down and get married asap. 

So when you display the opposite, it will intrigue him; he’ll put you in a different category to the other women he’s slept with, and will feel compelled to get to know you more. 

#7 Don’t Sleep With Him The Next Time You See Him

The next time you see him, don’t sleep with him. This will totally mess with his head because he’ll want to know why you’re not all over him. 

Rejecting him will make him slightly paranoid, and he’ll start wondering if his Sex was really as good as you said it was. 

Or if you’ve decided to start a relationship with the other guy you said you went on a date with. 

When he asks why, just say you’re on your cycle and can’t have Sex right now, but you’ll definitely do it the next time you see him. 

Trust and do believe he’ll hang onto that promise for dear life, just waiting for the next time to get in between the sheets with you again. 

#8 Be Emotionally Unavailable

I’m not saying you should be cold and heartless and turn into the ice woman, but don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. 

Being emotionally unavailable sends a clear message that you’re not the type of woman who thinks with their emotions. 

You don’t base your decisions on how you feel. In this way, you’re giving him a snippet of what it will be like in your relationship. 

Although we all have emotions, men don’t like overly emotional women; they make them uncomfortable. 

Overly emotional women can become confrontational and cause unnecessary drama. When a guy is looking to take things to a deeper level, he will pay close attention to how you manage your emotions. 

#9 Let Him Know He’s Good In Bed

If there’s one thing men are insecure about, it’s their sexual performance

You may have noticed that some of the guys you’ve slept with will ask how it was after the deed. 

Even if you were screaming to the high heavens, they’d still ask. He will most definitely want to sleep with you again if you boost his ego after Sex and let him know it was so good that you want to do it again. 

It’s important that you say it before he asks, or he may feel as if you’re just saying the Sex was good because he asked. 

Also, get creative with your compliments and say something like, “I can’t stop thinking about what we’ve just done; you made my toes curl.” Or, “That was so unbelievably intense, my knees are still shaking.” 

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This one will blow his mind, “you’ve just fulfilled my every fantasy without me even telling you what I like.” 

You will make him feel like king Kong, and men love it when they feel as if they’ve given you the best Sex you’ve ever had.

#10 Make Him Feel Special

Men enjoy compliments; not only does it make them feel good, but they want to know you are just as interested in them as they are in you. 

However, don’t go over the top with it, or you’ll look desperate. Think about it like this, when a guy is constantly telling you how amazing you are, it can get annoying, especially when you’ve just met and don’t really know each other well. So keep it light. 

The key is to drop a compliment when you notice something about his personality or capabilities that you’re impressed with. 

You also want to make sure the compliment is in proportion to the trait or quality of the guy. 

For example, if he’s good with cars, and you’ve been having a problem with your engine for some time, and he fixes it within seconds. You can say something like, “Wow, thanks for fixing my car; you really know your way around an engine.” 

Avoid saying something like, “You’re an absolute legend! I bet you’ll be fixing cars for formula one drivers soon.” 

Such a compliment will come across as insincere because you’re jumping to a massive conclusion, all because he fixed your car. 

#11 Don’t Stop Dating Other Men

You will know very quickly if he wants more than Sex from you if you are dating other men. Men are hunters, and if they want a woman, they are going to chase after her with everything they’ve got. 

He’ll try even harder to win you over when he finds out you’re dating other men. 

However, if he’s not that interested in you and doesn’t think you’re worth chasing, he’ll have nothing to say about the other men you’re seeing; he’ll either keep sleeping with you until things fizzle out, or he’ll just ghost you. 

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To try this out, do the following. The next time he calls asking what you’re up to on a Friday night, say you’re going on a date. How he responds will determine whether he likes you enough to compete with the other guy. 

After the date, when he calls, don’t answer. When he texts, don’t be enthusiastic in your response. If he wants to meet up, say you’re going on another date with the other guy. 

At this point, he’s either going to step up his game because he thinks you like the other man more, or he’ll back down because he’s not that into you anyway. 

Is He Still Interested After Sleeping With Me?

You will know whether a guy is still interested after sleeping with you if he does the following: call you randomly, he stays the night, or he has cuddle sessions with you. 

Women can drive themselves crazy wondering whether a guy has lost interest after Sex especially if he doesn’t call immediately, or doesn’t give any indication about where he sees the relationship heading. 

The good news is that actions speak louder than words, and how he treats you after you’ve slept together will tell you everything you need to know. 

Here are six signs that a guy is still interested after sleeping with you. 

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Is He Still Interested After Sleeping With Me?

#1 He Will Call You Randomly

Men don’t like wasting time, and if a man isn’t interested in a woman, he’s not going to waste his time calling her. 

If your guy friend calls you at random times throughout the day, not just when he wants Sex, he likes you a lot. 

A game player will play games; in most cases, he won’t call, but he’ll text you every once in a while. 

On the other hand, calling often is a sign he wants more than just Sex; he actually cares about you and wants to know how you’re doing. 

#2 He Stays The Night

I don’t mean he stayed the night on the first night you slept together because he was so drunk, he rolled over and fell asleep. 

Or he slept over because he couldn’t afford the taxi fare home. Any time he comes over, he brings an overnight bag. 

Sleeping over at yours means that he enjoys spending time with you, and he’s comfortable around you. It may even be a sign that he considers you a long-term prospect. 

When a man is considering getting into a serious relationship with a woman, one of the things he will do is make more time for her. Not just because he likes her a lot, but because he wants to see how she behaves in different situations. 

What is her attitude like first thing in the morning? How does she keep her home? 

What is she like when something unexpected happens? Asking questions isn’t as reliable as seeing her responses in real-time. 

#3 He Has Cuddle Sessions With You

Hook-ups don’t have cuddling sessions because it’s too intimate. After 

Sex, there’s usually an awkward conversation while one of you scrambles to put their clothes on and run out the door. 

But cuddling after Sex is a sign that your relationship is growing deeper. Body language expert Yana German states that cuddling is a sign that two people trust each other, feel comfortable together, and respect each other. 

#4 You Don’t Have Sex In Random Places

There’s nothing wrong with getting a bit freaky. Some couples are into having Sex in public places.

However, if you haven’t had a discussion about it, but he insists on taking you into the woods, or seedy restrooms, he’s not that into you. 

Even if he lives with his parents and he’s not comfortable taking you to his house, the least he can do is pay for a hotel. If he’s not willing to do that, he’s not serious about you. 

#5 He Makes You Feel Comfortable When You Come Over

Does he play your favorite music, have your favorite drink ready, or light candles when you come over. 

Does he make sure his house is tidy because he knows you don’t like mess? When a guy goes out of his way to make you feel comfortable, it’s because he wants you to come back. 

You see, when a guy has decided he only wants to sleep with you, he doesn’t value you. 

So he won’t care if his bedroom floor is littered with beer cans or the bathroom looks like a bomb has hit it. As far as he’s concerned, hitting it and quitting it is his only motivation. 

If you want to know if he’s still interested in you after Sex, pay attention to how he makes you feel when you go to his house.

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#6 He Doesn’t Sulk When You Don’t Want Sex

You can do a few things to test whether a guy is still into you after Sex, and one of them is to reject him the next time he wants it. 

Give it about a week before you go over there again, and when he starts taking your making-out session to the next level, tell him you don’t feel like it. 

If he throws a tantrum, he’s just using you for Sex, and he’s upset because he assumes you came over because you wanted it too. 

He thought you were on the same page, that this isn’t about spending quality time together but about having Sex. 

However, if he says he doesn’t mind and then goes out of his way to be nice to you, that’s a direct sign you mean more than a casual fling. 

What He Thinks After You Sleep With Him?

There is no definitive answer to this question because he could be thinking several things such as, I’m not that attracted to her after all, he’s happy he had Sex, was I good enough for her?

Or he’s thinking about whether he has feelings for you. Here are four things a man thinks after he’s had Sex. 

What He Thinks After You Sleep With Him?

#1 I’m Not That Attracted To Her After All

Lust can blind men and make them think certain women are more attractive than they are. 

By the way, I am in no way saying you’re ugly; what I’m saying is that when a man is driven by lust, his manhood is thinking on his behalf. 

Once the Sex is over, and he is thinking with his head, he realizes that he is not that attracted to you after all. 

#2 I’m Glad I’ve Had Sex

For men, Sex is a physical desire, they won’t die without it, but they do need to release the sperm build-up. 

Have you heard of the term ‘blue balls?’ That’s when men have a continuous erection without an orgasm, and it causes pain, aching, heaviness, and discomfort. 

After orgasm, all the pain disappears, and he is back to his right mind. 

When he lies back, satisfied with a smile on his face, his first thought is that he’s glad the discomfort has gone.

#3 Was I Good Enough For Her?

As mentioned, a lot of men are very insecure about their sexual performance and need to know whether he is good in bed. 

After Sex, he may start having feelings of anxiety about whether he satisfied you. 

He’ll have questions firing off in his brain like, “was I big enough? Did I last long enough? Did she have an orgasm? 

Was her last boyfriend better than me?” If he’s silent after Sex, it may not have anything to do with you but everything to do with his insecurities. 

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#4 Do I Have Feelings For Her?

Sex is more powerful than we know, and because it’s chemically induced, men do catch feelings after the event. 

When two people have Sex, oxytocin is released into the bloodstream. Oxytocin is also known as the ‘cuddle hormone,’ or the ‘love hormone.’ 

The reason being is that oxytocin stimulates feelings of love, trust, and empathy. Research suggests that women have more oxytocin in their system than men. 

Hence the reason why some women want a relationship after Sex and feel used if the guy doesn’t feel the same way. 

So if oxytocin has made your guy friend feel some type of way after Sex, he’s probably wondering if he’s in love with you. 

How To Tell A Guy You Want To Sleep With Him Again?

I understand you might be a bit shy, but every man wants to hear they were so good in bed that a woman wants to sleep with them again. 

So here are a few ideas, just say it, write him a handwritten note, or send him a text message. 

Even if he sees you as a casual fling and not girlfriend material, he’s not going to say no.  

How To Tell A Guy You Want To Sleep With Him Again?

#1 Just Say It

Contrary to popular belief, men want women to initiate Sex sometimes. 

Although men don’t mind making the first move, there are times when they wonder whether their partner is only saying yes because she feels obliged to and doesn’t want to offend him by saying no.

On the other hand, when a woman initiates Sex, the man knows she wants it. So why don’t you try walking up to him and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. 

Or, if you’re staying over, take a shower, walk up to the bed, drop the towel and ask if he’s in the mood. I’m pretty sure he won’t say he’s got a headache. 

#2 Write Him A Handwritten Note

A handwritten note is a sweet gesture because you’ve taken the time out to sit down and craft it. 

Handwritten notes are a lost art today as most people type their messages. Once you’ve written the note, put it in an envelope, you can either send it to him in the post or give it to him in person. 

I would suggest that if you’re going to give it to him in person, do so discreetly when there are other people around. 

Let’s say you’re at a bar with friends; once he reads it, he’ll be so turned on he’ll want to leave immediately. 

If he gets the letter in the mail, he’ll ask you to come over as soon as he reads it. 

#3 Send Him A Text Message

Texting is a great way to flirt and set off some digital fireworks. There’s no need to write an essay; keep it short and sweet, get to the point but don’t be too blunt. 

You want to get some banter going. Think about it like this; if a hot guy walked up to you at a nightclub, winked, said hi, and walked off, you would want to know more about him. 

But if that same guy came and introduced himself and started telling you his life story, you wouldn’t be impressed. 

The wink was just enough to capture your attention. So you can text him something like, “are you horny?” Or, “I’ve just got out of the shower.”

A question or a text that invokes his imagination will surely stir things up.

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#4 Flirt and Let Your Body Do The Talking

Flirting is a great way to communicate what you’re thinking. You can be subtle about it or be a bit more extreme. 

A subtle way of telling a guy you want to get freaky is to bite or lick your lips in front of him. It will draw attention to your mouth, and hopefully, he’ll go in for a kiss. 

Another way to communicate what you’re thinking is to touch him during conversation lightly. This works best when you’re sitting down because you want your hand to rest as close to his groin area as possible. 

A light touch should set his pulse racing and have him fantasizing about what’s to come when the two of you get some alone time. 

The next time you see him, turn up wearing nothing but a long jacket and sexy underwear underneath. 

As soon as you step into the house, he shuts the door and drop the jacket. Trust me; you won’t need to say a word when he sees what’s underneath.

#5 Ask Him If He Wants To Netflix And Chill

Unless he’s been living under a rock for the past ten years, everyone knows what Netflix and chill means. 

But in case you’re the one who’s been hiding under a rock, let me explain what it means. 

It means you watch something on Netflix with the person you’re dating, ending up in bed together. So, if you don’t want to be upfront about it, ask if he wants to Netflix and chill. 

# 6 Start A Conversation About Sex

Talking about Sex is the best way to get a guy horny. You can start off light-hearted by asking him about his favorite sex scene in a movie. 

Then, get him to talk about it more by asking why and which parts turned him on the most. 

He’ll probably ask about yours, which is your opportunity to tell him you want to have Sex again. 

At this point, you can say something like, “my favorite sex scene was in the movie staring [his and your name].” I’m sure the conversation will end there. 

Final Thought

According to Steve Harvey’s recommendations, women should not sleep with a guy they’re dating for ninety days to see whether he’s serious about the relationship. 

The point is that most men aren’t going to hang around for that long if they’re not interested. But they will wait around for a couple of weeks if Sex is guaranteed. 

But if you’ve already done the deed, your best bet is to continue playing hard to get; if he wants more than Sex, he’ll keep chasing you. 

As mentioned, men don’t waste their time on women they’re not interested in. 

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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