It’s a topic I know you will all be keen on.
You want to live your life, go about your day, and keep narcissists at bay.
In fact, you don’t even want them near you, let alone approaching you.
So what’s the answer?
Is there a magic perfume you can apply to repel them? The short answer is no, but you can still repel them. You just need to have the tricks up your sleeve ready.
So – are you ready?
Repelling For The Win
I can assure you, I want you to live a life that’s the best you could ever imagine it to be.
For many of you, I know that your experiences with narcissism and narcissistic abuse have taken a toll on you.
I don’t want to downplay that, in fact, I want to show you why it keeps happening.
Why do narcissists keep coming to me?
What is it about me?
And most importantly…
How can I stop attracting them?i
For the win, there are many ways.
De-Magnetize For The Best Life
I will start by saying that I know you don’t mean to be a magnet for narcissistic behavior and attention, yet you will remain so all the while you are wide open to them being able to access you.
Coerce you. Intimidate you. Manipulate you. Control you.
But in order to have the best life, that magnet must be deactivated within you.
And trust me when I say it’s not always as easy as it seems, but once you do, you’ll finally be free.
Confidence is Key
The first step – and it’s a big one!
Confidence.
Where did yours go?
Over time, various narcissists have taken yours, leaving you with nothing. So what do you do?
The key here is to understand that your character is being stolen, and know that the pattern lies with being able to attract them in the first place.
It’s a little bit like getting yourself a box of chocolates and allowing people to just take one from you, leaving you with none.
Those chocolates are yours, and they’re not for anybody else.
The same with your confidence.
If you can maintain boundaries around your confidence and not let the voices, opinions or actions of others determine how confident you feel, then you’re onto a winner.
An Unbreakable Character
Nothing and nobody gets you down for long. You may have bad days or tough times, but you bounce back and you do so with vigor and the promise you will dust yourself off and start again.
Strong characters aren’t always aggressive in nature. They can just be sure of their own abilities, and know that they cannot be swayed or persuaded into an environment they don’t want to be in.
They aren’t afraid to say no, and they aren’t afraid to say yes.
If your character is unbreakable, you are going to have a hard time attracting any narcissist, whose sole purpose is to break you and hollow you out.
Don’t Be Lured
Oh, they can try. And they can keep trying.
The lure is the temptation.
What if I just gave this person a go?
Maybe I could be the one to change them.
Perhaps there’s something different about me that they will love.
What harm could it do?
I’ll give it a month.
They’re trying really hard to be with me.
It seems fair to let them show me what they’ve got.
Don’t.
What they’ve got is a pocket full of ammunition that they will spend a lifetime if you let them, pointing in your direction.
The lure can feel like a magnet pulling you toward it, I get it. It’s mysterious, exciting, new, even passionate.
They may well use their physical attraction to tempt you into spending the night with them.
They will make that night the best night you’ve ever had. They will hit the right spots, and leave you breathless.
It’s not a road you want to go down, despite how nice the painting of it might look.
Ultimately, the narcissist used cheap paint to trick you.
Charm? No Thanks
Wow, look at you. You look amazing.
Of course, I’d be proud to have you on my arm.
There’s nobody I’d rather share this moment with.
Have I told you just how much you make my heart race?
You’re something else, like nobody I’ve ever known.
Play that old record, narcissist. Let’s all hear it. Blah, blah, blah.
It’s all words, and they don’t mean anything if they’re coated in lies and deception.
Own Your Life: Own Your Goals
Don’t ever let a narcissist take your goals away from you.
Stand your ground and follow your dreams, and if you’re told they’re ridiculous, it means they’re amazing and the narcissist doesn’t have the balls to do the same for themselves.
If you forget your worth, you’re forgetting how to live with purpose.
Remember Your Worth
Speaking of worth!
Let’s go there.
Your worth is how much you value yourself in your own heart. Is it a lot? Perhaps it’s just a little bit. Maybe it could be a whole lot more!
Remembering how intelligent, bright, kind and caring you are will see you through life with much more ease than those who are emptied of soul.
If you can keep your worth topped up, narcissists are going to steer clear of you.
Value Love, Not Attachment
Love can come and go, and it hurts when it does. But when you’re in love, it’s the best feeling in the world.
Love is about forgiveness and respect. It’s not you trying to validate yourself to somebody, or prove your worth. Love doesn’t chase love. Love just is.
If you find yourself chasing, you’re finding yourself attached to a person who sees no value in your love, therefore will neer return it.
Be love, and a narcissist will never be able to overcome that.
Think About Your Past
I know it’s a hard one to think about, but your past really matters.
I know a large number of victims of narcissistic abuse have come from some kind of home life where they were made to feel less than valued, or were neglected in some way.
Love had to be earned, and even then it was fleeting.
You grabbed what attention you could, and you held onto the feeling it gave you. And now – as an adult – you’re looking for the same.
Familiarity isn’t always healthy, but it is often the safe option for people who know no better.
If you can think about your past and what made your standards so low as to always attract narcissists, then you can work to undo it.
