How To make a Narcissist Obsessed With You?

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Narcissists don’t play by the rules, and if you want to make them obsessed with you, you’ve got to beat them at their own game.

How to make a narcissist obsessed with you? May I warn you, this is not going to be an easy task.

But if you’re willing to put the work in, and ditch your traditional romantic ideals, you can have a narcissist whimpering like a puppy, and eating out of the palm of your hand.

However, it’s risky business, but if you’re a risk-taker, then go ahead. If you want to know how to make a narcissist obsessed with you, keep reading! 

How do You Get the Attention of a Narcissist?

How do You Get the Attention of a Narcissist

Narcissists are attracted to everything shiny, they’re super vain, and enjoy the finer things in life. So if you’re looking to get the attention of a narcissist, start here:

Be As Physically Appealing As Possible

Everyone wants what they can’t have, but narcissists take it to another level. They want the best looking partner, the best car, the best house, the best everything. They’ve got to be number one at all times, or they don’t feel complete.

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If you’re serious about how to make a narcissist obsessed with you, looking as physically appealing as possible is essential. Make sure you look on point at all times, even if you’re just going to the grocery store.

When the narcissist sees how much attention you get, you’ll slowly start drawing him/her into your web of splendor. 

Ignore Them

Narcissists are strange characters, even though they revel in the attention, when you ignore them, they’ll chase you for having the audacity to ignore them.

The narcissist will want to know who the hell you think you are? As a result of you ignoring them, they’ll start pulling every trick in the book to get your attention. If you intend on using this tactic…prepare for a theatre show. 

Act Arrogant

Now this one might backfire, it depends on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with, but you can give it a try and see what happens. Okay, so narcissists get a kick out of destroying people’s self-esteem.

They can spot low self-esteem the way a shark smells blood. And that’s the direction they typically go in because they know it will be easy supply.

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But there are some narcissists who like more of a challenge and will target a confident person because it’s more of a victory to them when they break them down. So, if you want to see a narcissist obsessed, act as if you’ve got some self-respect. 

3 Ways to Make a Narcissist Obsessed With You

3 Ways to Make a Narcissist Obsessed With You

If you want to know how to make a narcissist addicted to you, you may need to do some things you’ve never done before and play a few emotional games. Here are some tips:

#1 Don’t Make a Commitment

The minute you make a commitment to a narcissist, they’ll switch on you. You see, they’re very strategic people, and get into relationships with one intention.

And that’s to get you hooked on them so you can become their constant source of narcissistic supply. There are three stages to their strategy:

1. The Love Bombing Stage

The love bombing stage is right at the beginning of the relationship and they invest a lot of time and money to get their victim to fall in love with them. Love bombing is why narcissists have developed a reputation for being charming.

They will take you out to nice restaurants, buy you gifts, take you on vacation, call and text you all the time telling you how beautiful you are.

You’ll think you’ve found the man/woman of your dreams, you’ll invite them to meet your friends and family who will love your narcissist just as much as you do.

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Before you know it, you’ve fallen head over heels into his/her trap. Once they know they’ve got you, they move onto the next stage. 

2. The Devaluing Stage

Once you’re addicted to what you’ve been deceived into believing is their loving nature, the narcissist will switch on you so hard and fast you won’t know what’s hit you.

He/she will literally mess with the chemical makeup of your brain. Let me explain…dopamine is the feel good hormone, anytime something makes you feel good, the brain releases this chemical into the bloodstream.

Dopamine plays an important role in addiction, whether the person uses drugs, alcohol, or they’re addicted to shopping, what the individual is actually chasing is a dopamine high, they want to feel good at all times.

When the addict crashes, they feel depressed, and go out looking for that high again. Abusive relationships work in the same way, the only difference is the addiction is a person. 

Your narcissist made you feel good and giddy when they were love bombing you. Now, they’re going to make you crash by emotionally and verbally abusing you. Let’s say it’s your six month anniversary and you’re going out to dinner.

You decide to wear the same red dress you wore on your first date. As you put on the dress, you reminisce about how he lavished you with compliments.

You remember every last word, he told you how much the dress complimented your figure and your skin complexion.

But today, when he picks you up, the first thing he says when he opens the door is, “not that dress again, it makes you look a bit chubby, and the red against your skin makes you look too pale.” Now you’re confused, and as you get changed, your self-esteem is slowly deflating. 

He knows you’re slightly depressed because he’s well aware that you wore that dress in anticipation of hearing him make the same compliments. Even when you emerge with a new dress on, he doesn’t acknowledge you.

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The date is slightly off, and you spend the night worrying that he’s not into you anymore. Now you start acting desperate, and this is exactly where he wants you. You’ve now become the perfect source of narcissistic supply because you overcompensate to win his approval.

He will know exactly when to start building you up again, and then he’ll tear you back down. So now you’re completely addicted to him, elated when he validates you, and crushed when he’s mean and nasty to you.  

3. The Discarding Stage

Once he’s completely worn you out, and you’ve got nothing left to give, he’ll get rid of you in the most cruel and cold way. If he moved into yours, he’ll simply pack up and leave. You’ll come back from work to an empty house.

If you moved into his, he’ll pack your things while you’re at work, leave them outside the front door, and change the locks! Once you’re out of the picture, he’ll move onto the next. 

What you don’t want is for him to get past the love bombing stage. He’ll bait you to see if you take it. Remember, the bait is the nasty comment or insult.

Act as if what he says doesn’t bother you at all. Laugh about it, but whatever you do, don’t get into a confrontation about it.

When you don’t take the bait, he’s going to keep love bombing you, and every so often, he’ll throw the bait out to see if he can hook you.  

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#2 Flirt With Other People

When your narcissist is around, make sure you flirt with the opposite sex. Don’t go overboard with it, be subtle, but obvious. For example, you can keep giving compliments, or lightly touch an arm during conversation.

The narcissist will sulk like a petulant child, and may even start an argument, but it will motivate him/her to try harder to become the center of your world. 

#3 Don’t Compliment Them

And I mean ever! The minute you start complimenting a narcissist, they’ll rub their hands together in glee thinking they’re one step closer to getting you hooked.

Instead of complimenting the narcissist, highlight their imperfections in a clever way.

Deep down, narcissists are terribly insecure, they put on a facade that they totally love themselves, and they’re the best thing since sliced bread, but it’s all a front.

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So you could say something like, “wow, I really admire the way you wear tight tops even though your stomachs a bit on the round side.”

Or, after taking a selfie together, look at the picture and say, “your levels of confidence are out of this world, I’d never take a picture with the bad side of my face.” 

#4 Never Have Time For Them

During the love bombing stage, the narcissist is going to want to spend all their time with you. Their aim is to spend as much time as they can buttering you up so that you get hooked as soon as possible.

As you’ve read, once you’re hooked, the devaluing starts. So the less time you spend with your narcissist the better for you because they’ll keep trying to catch you.

Every time your narcissist calls to arrange to meet up, say you’re busy on that date, and that you’ll call back when you’ve got some free time.

The narcissist won’t be very happy about this, they’ll feel neglected and abandoned, but it will keep him/her on their toes. 

How do You Keep a Narcissist Hooked?

How do You Keep a Narcissist Hooked?

By refusing to get hooked! It sounds simple, but it’s not. The only way to keep a narcissist chasing you is not to succumb to the love bombing stage.

It’s also important to mention that you won’t keep the narcissist hooked forever.

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Eventually, they’ll go to where they can get supply. Remember, narcissism is a mental illness, and without narcissistic supply, they can’t function.

They’ll enjoy the chase for a moment, but in the same way they discard their partners when they no longer have any use for them, is the same way they’ll discard you once the reality sets in that you’ll never become a victim.

So keep that in mind on your quest to get a narcissist to become obsessed with you. 

Can a Narcissist be Obsessed With Someone?

Yes, but for the wrong reasons. The one and only way a narcissist is going to get obsessed with someone is if they can’t hook them.

It won’t be because they think the individual is so awesome and they want to be around them all the time. One of the symptoms of narcissism is that they lack empathy.

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A lack of empathy can manifest in many ways, and one of them is that they don’t have the capacity to become genuinely attracted to a person because of who they are.

You’ll never hear about a narcissist falling head over heels in love because of their partner’s personality. So if you’re looking for someone to become obsessed with you for normal reasons, you won’t get this from a narcissist. 

Why Making a Narcissist Obsessed With You Might Not be a Good Idea

Well, in extreme cases, this is a dangerous game to play. When a narcissist is obsessed with you, it’s for the wrong reasons.

When they can’t get past the love bombing stage, they might start using other tactics to break you. In other words, the only reason why the narcissist became obsessed with you was because he/she couldn’t get you hooked.

Your resilience will intrigue them, and you’ll become a project that they’re determined to complete. Second of all, do you really want to waste your time and energy playing this sick emotional game?

You’ll never be able to be yourself around them, and you’ll always be on high alert trying to one up your narcissist. Eventually, you’ll get worn out. 

Final Thought

Getting a narcissist to like you is difficult enough, let alone obsessed! You’ll need to be on your A game at all times, and you can’t get caught slipping or your plans will fail miserably.

You see, narcissists don’t live in the real world, they’re constantly planning and manipulating so you’ve got to be ten steps ahead of them.

Be warned, sometimes, you’ll feel as if you’re fighting a losing battle because the narcissist won’t budge.

But if you’re relentless, eventually, you’ll get exactly what you want!

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2 thoughts on “How To make a Narcissist Obsessed With You?”

  1. Hi there, Alexander.

    Wow. This whole article was written as a frighteningly accurate depiction of the situation I am in.
    It’s as though you were speaking to me, personally.

    Thank you for this honest and straightforward article.

    Reply
  2. When it took me 5 years to know it was narcissistic behaviour all along (3 years post relationship) 2022 i finally got the missing answer of NPD and after that realization.. not only do i feel my closure and personal ex for years ago.. is now finally a closed chapter in my life. Which was neglected by the other half
    Now..
    Its all discovered late! Who cares? Because at last and on my own i closed the itch of something suspicious and definitely bothering me from this ex.. anyways every ARTICLE! Youtube video! Paper! Comment! 89% of Narcissism information, topics, situations, likely event’s/ practices. LOL 😂 the resemblance and taking me back to 2017 onwards scared the crap out of me at first. Like someone in the internet is playing a sick hacking and stocking game on me i must admit! But eventually after i got over this. The benefit and high of satisfaction i got from learning something i was indirectly and constantly suspicious and wondered about… the high i got from a certain personality thing this ex has had for years that clearly raised alarms in me earlier on.., and it was very unique and clear it was hidden and odd from any other experience I’m seen or heard from other ppl, from other girls and relationships or friends girlfriends etc before. So like u know when u deep down have always trusted you’re ability to not just trust or listen to ur. Gut.. but even more accurate then your gut feeling is mixing that with a intuitive reaction substance!? Thats when i knew ill figure it out hopefully one day. B/c im 99% sure theres something simple here…. one or two words explaining this…. A scientific term for this.. simply exited… and i know this because my intuitive nature is tingling, and not to be a arrogant individual, but you know the saying “always…! I MEAN!!! ALWAYS!! trust you’re gut?”

    What you might not have heard (because not everyone has intuition.,
    But everyone has a gut! Right?!)

    so ill share something new and likely stronger if you’re lucky to
    Understand and function in special circumstances with the power of intuitive power. Listen up this one is for yourself

    If you think trusting you’re gut leads to truth,

    hear this my friend,,, if you have your intuition telling you something while you’re forehead is wringing with intuitive sense
    and 🚨 Alerts!

    Then god bless you. That is human magic, because you now not have a thought from just a gut feeling. No no no no…!

    You more then not have a pure proof and truth far (very very far) surpassing any gut feeling.

    Nothing in a mans ability when kept in the dark is more powerful then what i call the intuitive snitch, the intuitive snitch is the most respected snitch in the world, why? Because he’s the only snitch that could never go to prison, disrespect humanity and mans word, create unfair cockroach situations for other men. No no. He serves only as a ghost and only to one individual, hes very intimate and personal to this one individual. No one can hear him… he does no noise.. no no..

    Only you cab understand this language he speaks to you.. the intuition ghost speaks in your ear. But doesn’t talk at all..

    Im a man that has many intuitive circumstances. And god bless this. Because im blessed to know things fast when others cant tell them to me. Anyways intuition finally solved my hurt. NPD discovery recently changed everything and heres how.
    Two points below from this narc ex who breadcrumbs me for years after discard.. heres whats likely to ever or not happen with her from now on.

    1: after 3 years, the first time ive hfeat zero need to respond to a simple text and within that no response days after change my number and phone provider while they even asked before ifni had. Anew number? I had changed it before responding and like i said never have u ever changed my bumber or prevented myself from responding to anything in 3 years this ex sent me. This was the first tim in my life.

    (Whats the common denominator?! Well if you were listening.. learning hew narcissistic personality after 5 years was apparently the greatest sense of person closure i could ever expect to happen to me)
    And that alone changed my thought and opinion. I was able to let o completely and care less about this horrible ex narcissistic person who used me.

    Also indirectly knowing the likelihood of NPD in this ex for the first time.. essentially in a way sympathizes me with hew past actions. I begin to believe rightfully so. The truth and fiction. Meaning the personal problem she has had with emotional and trauma growing up really did exist and really someone can bery much have completely different personsl negative or positive effects on intamcy, connection, binding etc sensitivity and issues far surpassing my ignorance at that time.. my denial and arrogance at the time. In a weird way.. this gave me factual back up info making me see things logically, nothing personal after so long, plus i lost any emotions and fake lust after so many years it all came together as a positive thing, after meeting a stranger essentially all these crazy sightings and knowledge i gained unexpected yes… but gained nonetheless.. was actually shocking to me.. because it was likely the only single therapy like event i could ever expire experience to apparently and finally allow me to fully close that chapter of an ex. And fully move on in my life with this much needed piece of knowledge that held the only one key for peace within myself.

    The irony? When i had no idea or expectation to randomly receive closure i must of chased it for months snd years… only when I realized no one will give that to me, not god… not my filthy ex.. only when i gave up on it years ago naturally?…

    The man named Closure showed up one night.. in the appearance of the ex… she had no idea what her hour of actions she had done were 5 years of closure she never gave herself. So greed and pushing needs to me like a spoiled ex lover with nod does… showed a man witnessing a basically complete stranger now where i had no connection and feelings tied after so long.. this plus the forced fuss and actions of the narc led me to weeks of google searches..

    Long and behold when u remove emotions from something, you see things 1000x more clearly. U learn new things. Amd by accident i forced a narc to go full out and lose there self awareness in its entirety by accident force. In turn 5 years of hurt went to the grave. Amen

    Reply

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