Last Updated on July 4, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Have you broken up with your narcissistic partner, and now you want them back? But you don’t just want them back; you want them to come crawling, begging, and pleading in the most desperate and undignified manner? But how to make a Narcissist come crawling back at you?
It might seem impossible, but you can achieve this if you know what to do. Here’s a secret you probably didn’t know, narcissists will break down if they see their ex-partner happy or when their ex-partner ignores them.
For one, they hate seeing their former victims partners happy, and two, they need constant attention.
When you ignore a narcissist, they’ll go to great lengths to get your attention because they can’t live without it.
How to Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back?
How to make the narcissist come crawling back to you?
One way is to post amazing pictures on social media and make it look like you’re living your best life. Another way is to ignore the narcissist completely and give them no attention whatsoever.
Although narcissists are stubborn and rarely chase when in relationships, you can get them to come crawling back.
Act as if you don’t care you’ve been dumped and you’re better off without them. It won’t be long before the narcissist comes crawling back, wondering why you’re living your best life and not knocking on their door begging to take them back.
Here are some tips on how to make a narcissist come back:
Post Amazing Pictures on Your Social Media
Narcissists can’t stand seeing their victims happy; it completely enrages them. The narcissist kept you miserable when you were together, and they’re damn sure not going to accept you being happy now they’ve discarded you.
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The narcissist dumped you in such a cruel way because they thought they had bled you dry and you had nothing left to give.
As far as the narcissist was concerned, you were completely useless. So if the narcissist sees you living your best life shortly after they’ve dumped you, it’s going to infuriate them. Here’s the plan…
Shortly after the breakup, have a wild girls’ night out on the town; if you can, go on vacation. Take loads of pictures of you having the time of your life; make sure you look AMAZING! Get some guys in the photos and post them to your social media.
Your ex will be furious when he sees them, and will immediately want to knock you off your high horse. You barely cracked a smile when you were together because you were so scared.
Now you’ve broke up, you’re sporting a smile as wide as the Atlantic, and you’re with other men! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
As soon as the narcissist sees those pictures, they’ll have a burning desire to want to put a stop to your happiness, and the only way they can do that is if they’re back in your life. So expect your ex to come knocking.
Ignore the Narcissist When They Call.
Now you’ve set the stage for your narcissist to come back, they will reach out to you. After they see the picture, they’ll give it a couple of weeks before contacting you so as not to appear too eager.
When they do, don’t respond. Ignoring the narcissist will madden them to no end. You’re having the time of your life, and you’re shutting them out! The narcissist will declare an all-out cold war on you.
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They’ll come at you with their guns blazing but disguise it as love. The narcissist will go back to what they know works. It won’t be long before the love-bombing begins.
You’ll start receiving flowers, gifts, invitations to dinner, and anything else that comes with their strategy. Their ultimate mission is to bring you back down to the peasant level, so when you ignore the narcissist, expect them to go hard trying to win you over.
Block The Narcissist on All Platforms.
Now it’s time to take this plan to the next level. The ball is in your court since the narcissist has reached out to you.
The narcissist knows this, but they did not intend for it to stay this way—the narcissists plans on snatching that ball right back as soon as they get into your life.
Go ahead and block the narcissist on all platforms; make sure they can’t reach you on social media, email, or phone.
Aim for complete no contact. The narcissist will know you’ve blocked them because they don’t have access to you anymore, and they’ll have a panic attack. The narcissist will go insane and will do everything in their power to reach you.
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They’ll turn up at your job, your house, your parent’s house. They will run around like a headless chicken trying to contact you. Let this go on for a few weeks, and when you think the time is right, give the narcissist an inch by letting them contact you by phone. Once they finally get hold of you, their level of desperation will shock you.
Start Working on Yourself.
The narcissist wants you to remain a scared, insecure person who believes they’ve got nothing going for them.
That’s how you felt when you were together, and that’s how the narcissist expects you to remain. The minute they see you’ve broken free from their chains, they will want to take you down off your high horse.
Start something like a 30 day get your body right challenge and post your updates on social media. In between that, post about personal development, loving yourself, and spiritual growth.
The narcissist won’t like this new positive mindset you’ve developed, and they’ll need to infiltrate your life to drag you back down to their level.
Can You Get a Narcissist to Come Back?
You can get the narcissist to come back by clarifying the relationship is over and by dating again. After you break up with the narcissist, they will act like they don’t want anything more to do with you. But in most cases, they leave the door open just in case they need you for anything.
Make it Clear the Relationship is Over
Whether the narcissist dumped you or you dumped them, let the narcissist know the relationship is officially over.
You are NEVER coming back, and they shouldn’t bother trying to get back with you either. Don’t phone; they won’t answer, do it by text or email. Putting a stamp on the end of the relationship will aggravate the narcissist.
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To the narcissist, it will look like the shoe is on the other foot; even if they discarded you, you banging the final nail in the coffin will make them feel as if you dumped them.
The narcissist will wonder whether you were planning on ending the relationship, but they beat you to it.
These thoughts will drive the narcissist crazy, and to make sure it’s all in their imagination, they will start working on getting you back so that they can have the last laugh.
Start Dating Again
After letting the narcissist know the relationship is officially over, get yourself a new partner. Please make sure they are a thousand times hotter than the narcissist, take a bunch of photos and post them to your social media.
The narcissist will see them because they don’t block their exes; they want to monitor their lives and ensure they’re not doing well.
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The moment your ex sees you’ve got a new partner and you look happy, they will fly into a rage and start planning to take you down. It won’t be long before the narcissist starts worming their way back into your life.
What Makes the Narcissist Want You Back?
To make the narcissist want you back, remind them of what they’re missing by showing them you’ve got plenty of new supply to give.
The narcissist thrives on external validation. Because of their deep-rooted insecurities, they cannot love themselves, and they seek affirmation from outside sources.
Once you start telling the narcissist how great they are, you become a source of supply, and they won’t be able to resist you.
Remind the Narcissist of What They Are Missing
The narcissist discarded you because they assumed you had run out of supply.
You can get the narcissist to come crawling back by letting them know there’s plenty more available. Play the narcissist at their own game by love-bombing them.
Start sending your ex text messages and emails telling them how great they are. How much you love and miss them because they are so awesome.
Please go over the top with it; once the narcissist realizes what they’re missing, they will come crawling back.
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How do You Get a Narcissist to Talk to You Again?
You can get the narcissist to talk to you again by accepting responsibility for the breakup and removing all obstacles preventing them from contacting you.
The narcissist will jump at the chance to destroy your life again. You can expect them to come running back with open arms once you use this strategy.
Let the Narcissist Know You Accept Responsibility
Narcissists like seeing their victims beg; it gives them the utmost pleasure to know they’ve control over a person.
When you contact the narcissist and tell them you fully accept it was your fault the relationship didn’t work. You can hook them by referring to yourself as everything they said you were.
Admit you’re stupid and incapable of living without them. Your confession will feed the narcissist’s ego, and they’ll want to hear you say it again and again. The narcissist will start calling to listen to you beg.
Get Rid of All Obstacles
After you broke up, did you block your partner on all platforms? Perhaps you felt threatened and took a restraining order out against them?
Doing stuff like this will infuriate the narcissist because although they discarded you, they need to know they’ve got access to you at all times. The last thing you want is to have an angry narcissist on your tail.
You can slowly start getting things back on track by letting them know you’ve removed the restrictions and they have access to you. You might want to start by liking one of their social media posts.
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If that doesn’t work, move on to giving the narcissist a missed call. If you got a new partner or a restraining order, send the narcissist a text message or email letting them know how sorry you are, you’ve lifted the restraining order, and the new partner is no longer in your life.
You may even want to go as far as saying your new partner was controlling you because your breakup left you so vulnerable. It was them that made you put a block on and get the restraining order.
It’s important to mention the narcissist will not get back to you straight away. They’ll be rubbing their hands together in glee because you’ve made contact, but the narcissist will want you to suffer.
I can’t tell you how long they’ll make you wait, but there will be a delay in contacting you because the narcissist wants you to know that they are in control now. During this time, they’ll be planning exactly how they’re going to ensure they break you down completely once you’re back.
Final Thought
If you want the narcissist to come crawling back, the methods mentioned will work. Nevertheless, you need to understand that when you get back with the narcissist, you will be in a warzone.
If you thought things were bad when you first got together, it’s going to be a hell of a lot worse, especially if you were the one who walked out on the narcissist.
As mentioned, before the narcissist comes back, they will devise a military-style strategic plan to ensure they obliterate you.
You will need to prepare for this, are you strong enough for the onslaught that’s coming? If not, I suggest you ditch your plan to get the narcissist to come crawling back.
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This was incredible! I might actually try this for some sadistic entertainment after being discarded by a 20 yo narcissist female.
It sounds like exactly what you shouldn’t do with a narc ! Bad idea! Why get that far away to bring them back do they get the satisfaction? And if you upset them they may stalk or abuse you? No way!
Same thing happened to me. I do want to try this!!!
Don’t do that. Don’t become the person that hurt you. You will hurt innocent women and they might never get over it.
I did this I text him after he broke us up and told him how great he was totally grovelled and nothing think I’m blocked n deleted
I have been reading through Alexander’s topics and started off slowly and now I can’t stop. I would have never guessed that I was a victim in a 5 year relationship with a textbook narcissist WOW!!!
Im 50 yrs old and she has been 50 for the past 3 years. I planned on spending the rest of my life with this woman.
The vast majority of these narcissistic behaviors fit her like a glove. Even describes the way the victim feels and reacts to to a narcissist’s abuse reads like an autobiography
There is sooo much I have to say about not only the pain she inflicted on me, but on my lovely parents, and our retired neighbors who loved her.
She was cheating on me the last year of our relationship. I have not seen her face since she took off 6 weeks ago with no notice. Just a few demanding tests about her things.
I never questioned her loyalty in my mind, but when I did I caught her red handed and completely off guard which didn’t bode well with her.
She was in the middle of overlapping with a married man as she was caring for his wife with MS. Both are not allowed in his wife’s house bc he’s a 35 yr old drunk who is abusive towards children & she’s a brutal narcissist.
She is stuck living in his mother’s crappy basement and that was definitely not part of her plan. She covets her belongings (enough to fill a storage unit) which she would continually accuse me and my “Girlfriend” of stealing.
According to her my “Girlfriend” lives across the street, sometimes under our house, or in the furniture. That’s another story.
QUESTION: The scenario above has the victim with a restraining order, what about when the narcist files a bogus order against the victim?
She wanted one last dig at me on her way out? Is it revenge bc I outsmarted her? She’s most comfortable playing the victim. Im going to fight it and explain to the judge that he will never see my face in his courtroom again. I want nothing to do with her. Unfortunately, she will be present to lap it all up.
I own the storage unit with everything she worships & did’nt have time to sneak out.
I also own the vehicle she was driving. Of course, she insists is hers.
With a police escort, my friend is going to go reposes it this afternoon. I would have, but can’t bc of the harassment order she had me served with. Vehicle is out front where she’s stuck living in the basement with her drunk buddy. Dont think that was part of her plan. LOL
QUESTION: Do you think she will reduce the order after she gets her kicks off of my testimony?
its only been two days since i was served with the bogus order & she’s already tried to bait me.
After reading the above article, she might have the guts to try to get back together??
This was interesting. I have a wife that has tendencies but not full blown – more on the solipsism side of the spectrum. She has been insecure since I’ve known her (33 yrs) and she has left me 4 times but I found a way back somehow. I think these techniques can be used to snap her out of it. She needs professional help. Maybe she will go after she starts begging to return?
From my observations the stated purpose of this article might be subject to backfire if you took this advice at face value SOLELY to try to win a narcissist back. Misdirection, pretense, deception, used against a narcissist, would be like challenging a grandmaster chess champion when all you know is checkers. However, if you picked some of this advice and suddenly managed to ACTUALLY gain interest in your own life? You have then already won all you need to win. Peace, self-value, and harmony are familiar to a narcissist only as alien adversaries that must be destroyed.
As I was reading this article, my mind (and mouth, I am allowed to do that now that I am alone) was screaming, “Why? Why? Why??? Why would you WANT them baçk if they are GONE?” Then I realized some of the stuff mentioned in the article I might actually be doing myself and could explain her sudden emphasized professions of eternal love mixed in with the usual rage, threats, and insults in her (mostly ignored) text bombs.
The article was entertaining and may have illuminated some stuff I have not fully processed. This was my first narcissist, and she was entertaining also. If getting my life back together is causing her to feel the need to come back to finish what she thought she had ended then dealing with that attempt will just have to be part of the process. I can no longer modify my behavior to feed the unhealthy needs of someone whose heart is unable to discern right from wrong. I also have no desire to measure my success by her discomfort. It is time for self-healing with no distractions or negative influence in either direction.
This was actually a good article. Upon reading it again I noticed some of the more alarming suggestions now read more like tongue in cheek accounts of case incidents and the traps that a person can fall in. Sometimes I gotta get slapped before I see the punchline!
I am in my 60s and it was a few years ago succumbed to the love bombing charms of a very smart and attractive fit woman half my age. She had other issues that might have influenced her desire for the company of a more mature man but those issues were familiar to me and surmountable, some of which she managed to get under control in my company. Narcissism totally took me by surprise as I had never seen it in person and never want to again unless I hear there is a cure. Amidst her other issues I think she was able to conceal NPD even from her therapists or maybe hide it behind the borderline indicators.
Intoxicating at first, the relationship had its moments but they fell far short of the price. It took a long time to learn her every accusation was in truth a concealed confession, every insult a self-assurance, and every nasty surprise attack bubbled out totally from within like a bird’s desire to chirp. When she reached out to my family for her narcissistic meals, including my 90 yr old mother, it became apparent that distance is the only realistic option between us.
I have no animosity. I find it crushing that such a promising, beautiful, intelligent young lady somehow found her self image damaged to the extent that her only path of reassurance can be found by travelling the trail of destruction littered by those she has destroyed (in her perception at least).
It is still my belief she would like to get it right but cannot help her mind from spinning it all out of control when she tries. I mourn for the lost little girl inside her that may never find harmony. I sincerely hope and pray that life somehow finds her a healthy balanced spot where she can achieve actual happiness and learn the feeling of harmony but I no longer harbor any delusions that there is much (if any) assistance that I can lend.
I am fully aware that I am married to a narcissist who is in the middle of a discard cycle. I am no longer in love with him like that but I am in a situation where he is (surprisingly) a good dad and I really need him here in the house with me. I’m willing to do what I need to do to get the help that I need. My guard is fully up and after a decade of the insanity it will never go back down. I just have to pick which strategies I will use because I outright refuse to take responsibility for the break up and I’m not begging him. I’ve done that in the past and I will die a thousand deaths before I do that again. Funny thing is, knowing these strategies makes me feel empowered
This is a hugely irresponsible article. Don’t bring
them back into your life. Let them go, for your own sake.
This article is a confusing mixed bag. You’ve got a narcissist and someone who is reactively responding to a narcissist. You’ve got someone who might also be in a relationship with someone who cheats, lies, crosses boundaries, insults you, gaslights you, and otherwise emotionally abuses you and YOU are the one texting, calling, sending streams of messages begging for honesty, change, care, and telling them you’ll do anything to be with them because you’re apologizing for your reactions, and what they’ll do is hound you into further reactions by continuing to lie, gaslighting, and pushing you. Its a difficult circle, and someone at some point has to take responsibility for their actions. At some point someone has to show care, and empathy, and be mindful of the pieces they’re leaving behind – Not every seeming narcissist is one. Be mindful of both of your responsibility in the relationship and own your portion. Do whats best for your mental health and care in the end. Even if you love the Narc, leave.