Last Updated on December 29, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
What do you do after snagging the digits of a girl you’re really into? You text her, of course. A text message is an excellent way to grab her attention if you’re too timid to call. A text exchange with a girl is also a great way to get to know her.
But it’s challenging to think about what to say. Plus, you have to ensure your conversation is interesting. That can be downright scary if you tend to overthink things.
If you’re nervous about coming on too strong or saying the wrong thing – we’re here for you.
This guide on making a girl want you over text is your Holy Grail. It will show you the best ways to start a relaxed but flirty text convo with the girl of your dreams and hold her interest. You’ll have her wanting more!
How Do You Make a Girl Think About You Through Text?
You must communicate to your love interest that you’re a high-value guy. You like talking to her but don’t need her attention.
A little radio silence never hurts. Give your love interest a chance to miss you and think about you.
A tactical ending to the text exchange is also essential. Usually, the person who leads the interaction ends it. Do you want to be a high-value man who can captivate high-value women? Then it’s your job to lead. You’ll catch her eye as a non-needy guy if you know how to end a fun text exchange.
Want to know how to make her think about you through text? First, you’ll need an intro:
How to Start a Text Conversation
LovePanky says it best: the first text works wonders.
Yet it’s important not to overthink that first message. Instead, keep it casual and simple.
“I’m only saying hi” is a pretty good introductory text. But if you want to stick in your crush’s mind, it’s better to think of something unique and quirky to say. In that way, she’ll be more inclined to reply.
Once you break the ice, keep your follow-up texts short. You aim to get a date, not text your crush forever!
Speak Your Girl’s Language When Texting
Find out what she likes and what she’s passionate about.
If she fantasizes about traveling, give her the fantasy she craves by watching foreign films with her. Or you can take a virtual reality trip to the Serengeti together: do whatever strikes your fancy.
According to the Art of Charm, you need to know the type of girl you’re texting. If you do, you will save time.
Is she an extrovert or an introvert? A Netflix devotee or a bookworm, or a funny person? Is she a businessperson? Still in college? Is she reserved or adventurous? What’s a date idea that she would find interesting?
Every girl is unique. Each one has a set of tastes, beliefs, and hobbies. Her own goals, aspirations, and ideals. Once you identify who she is, you’ll be in a better position to show her what you’re made of.
10 Ways to Get a Girl to Like You Over Text
We’re here to level up your text game and score big points with the attractive women in your life.
For example, it’s best to avoid texting when you’re bored. Your crush can tell if you’re only looking for a way to pass the time. Do not send this text: “I’m bored. What are you doing?”
She wants to see that you have a life and not that you spend your free time doing nothing. Questions like those also show that you think of her only when bored.
Here’s how to get a girl to like you through text:
#1 Use Proper Grammar
It’s no big deal if you misspell some words on purpose during a funny text – it’s another to do it in a serious conversation.
Shortening the length of sentences or allowing certain words to slip is okay. Your crush might think you’re uptight if all your texts have correct grammar and spelling. It can also make you look nervous.
But when you shorten nearly all your words, for example, “NGL, last nite was gr8! HMU later?” she might see you as a man-child with a high-school mindset. Not sexy. You should be paying attention to grammar when the conversation becomes more serious.
Text exchanges can get heavy fast when you’re dealing with emotions. The perfect combination is decent grammar and good spelling with a few minor imperfections. This style can sub-communicate a busy lifestyle but a light-hearted personality. Go for a relaxed and playful attitude.
Little imperfections like misspellings will cause you to sound natural. You’re doing a lot of cool things, including sending out texts. Still, proofread your messages before you send them to catch significant errors.
Also, be careful with auto-correct; it can trip you up. Don’t allow the simple power of a misspelled word to change the entire meaning of a message. It would help if you also limit your use of question marks. Why? Psychologists have discovered that question marks make you look needy. They can cause you to get a negative and defensive response.
Here are three rules text gurus swear by:
- Capitalize letters where needed
- Use commas and full stops (don’t end one-sentence texts with a period, though)
- Use emojis sparingly. They’re for when you need to clarify the emotion behind your message.
2. Match Her Texting Style
Sometimes you’ll need to get used to her texting technique to reflect her rhythm and wording.
Does she dislike emojis? Then don’t use them. If her text messages are short, match their length. If her texts seem sloppy, don’t stress over your response. Your enthusiasm and interest should correspond to hers. It shows you’re on the same level.
When to text her back differs for every relationship. The basics of when to respond are:
Mix up reply times
Wait for approximately the same amount of time she does between texts. Does she wait a few hours to respond to your messages?
Then why are you texting her back within a few seconds? If you always respond immediately, it will make you look needy.
She might feel you were waiting, phone in hand, to hear from her, and you have nothing else going on.
Not attractive, So don’t let her get comfortable. Instead, mix up your reply times. That will show her you have a life and a busy one at that.
You’re not pining over her. Sometimes you will exchange rapid texts back and forth. At other times, you will get into your life and wait for a little to text her.
Avoid double texting
(sending messages twice in a row). It makes you look desperate. We’re betting you don’t want to come on too strong. Only keep texting if your crush has responded to your last message. Keep a 1:1 texting ratio.
#3 Create Playful, Flirty Texts
Be as fun and playful as you can. Don’t start a profound conversation via text message. View texting as a relaxed way to communicate. Why? Because it’s too easy to misinterpret the written word. Instead, let her have positive emotions when she thinks about your texts.
Reference conversations that you’ve already had or jokes that you’ve laughed at together. Start an inside joke with your love interest. Or think up a fun nickname. Playful teasing is an excellent way to bond as you get to know each other.
Or focus on something unique about her and ask her questions about that. What are her hobbies? What is she studying?
#4 Keep your Text Conversations Interesting
A natural lull may occur after you’ve been texting a girl for a while. You might both run out of things to talk about. Don’t let that discourage you. Continue to search for exciting new topics.
Avoid dull topics like politics, work, or your day-to-day grind. Keep things flirty and lighthearted, and don’t get into deep discussions.
You can communicate what you want by being self-deprecating. For example, say something like, “At least introduce me to your folks. This is escalating fast.”
It’s vital to keep her engaged in conversation so she knows you’re putting in the effort.
#5 Ask Questions
According to WikiHow, you should ask open-ended questions that she can’t answer with a mere “yes” or “no.” Instead, she should be using complete sentences or even paragraphs to reply.
You can also answer the questions as you go along, keeping your conversation flowing well.
In the same way, if she’s asking you questions, don’t reply with a mere “yup” or “okay.” She might think you’re not interested and stop texting you altogether. Or she’ll lose interest, with the same result.
Questions to Ask a Girl Over Text
- Where would you want to live if you could move to any location in the world?
- Cats or dogs: which do you prefer?
- What’s your favorite video game?
#6 Make Her Feel Special
Another trick is to stoke her ego. She’s important, and she deserves to know it. Text her about her positive impact on your life, and tell her you’re always thinking about her.
Here’s an example: “I saw the nicest Mini Cooper in the parking lot, and I thought of you :).” As you can see, you can be playful.
#7 Create Passive Attraction with Instagram Stories
This hack might sound time-consuming or complex, but its simplicity might surprise you. You can take photos or make videos about amusing things you see in your everyday life and use them for your stories. That’s all you need to do.
So post a picture of someone walking an unusual pet, such as an iguana. Or record the fact that you happened on a triathlon as you were driving to the store. It can even be a picture of the mug of coffee you spilled, along with a cute caption.
#8 Please do Not Overdo it
Overtexting is a big deal. When we receive text notifications, they appear on our phone screens until we read them.
Some people send too many texts at once. How would your phone react if you were on the other end of those texts? That’s right; it would light up or ping every couple of minutes. Hers will do the same. Please don’t cause her panic and turn her phone on silent.
If you text her too often, it can destroy the attraction she feels for you. Whoever puts the most effort into communication is doing the chasing as a general rule. So don’t overdo it if you want to have a shot at getting a girl to chase you.
#9 Use Voice Notes
Are you nervous about sending your crush a voice note? Jot down what you’d like to say in full or the gist with bullet points.
No worries if you say something moronic, stutter, or belch. Any texting platform that supports voice messages will let you cancel the recording. You can restart, and your crush won’t ever know that you tried to pour out your entire soul in 30 seconds or less.
#10 Ask Her for a Real Life Meetup
Many men consider texting a helpful way to get to know girls. On the other hand, most girls don’t want long, drawn-out text convos. They prefer it if you can be self-assured and snag a date with them!
So, plan a first date before you continue to text. If you don’t, there’s a risk that you’ll put your foot in your mouth at some point. Your charisma will also start losing its effect and drain your crush’s excitement at meeting you.
What to Tell a Girl if You Want Her to Meet Up
An in-person conversation is even better than texting. Try to guide the discussion toward a real-life meetup as soon as practicable. You can propose a meeting place and see if your crush agrees. It’s essential to get the ball rolling.
Text her something like, “Texting you was a lot of fun. Can we grab a coffee tomorrow?” Or, “I heard you like marathoning – want to run with me this weekend?”
Another tactic is to find out which cocktail she likes. Then you can tell about the new cocktail bar you want to check out. Shoot your shot and see if it lands. Then wait for the right time (the weekend or when you know she’s free). Suggest a time for you to check that cocktail bar out together.
Face-to-face meetups are where the real magic happens. Never lose sight of the ultimate goal.
It would help if you made her excited and comfortable about meeting with you. An in-person meetup resets the frame. So it doesn’t matter how spectacular your chemistry is with a girl over text. Once you come face-to-face with her, everything starts from square one again.
Can a Girl Fall Deeply in Love With You Over Text?
Have you landed in the dreaded friend zone? Does your crush only see you as a text buddy? You’re not alone. But you’ve come this far in the article, so you’re off to a great start. Getting a girl interested in you over text will be simple. Just follow our tips.
Refrain from substituting texting for phone calls or dates. Texting is an excellent way to maintain your connection or increase it between dates. But don’t substitute text messaging for hanging out or calling her.
Did you meet her via online dating? Move the conversation away from the app as soon as possible. Here’s how to pull a girl over text, especially one losing interest:
Trust Your Gut
Be attentive to the flow of the how conversation. Does talking to your crush feel like pulling teeth? Does she answer in monosyllables? It could mean your love interest is not into you. An alternative reason could be that she doesn’t like texting.
If you sense she’s not into you, move on. Don’t waste time on a woman who isn’t interested. There are a lot more women who will be.
Don’t try to be perfect. The most favored piece of dating advice is: be yourself. Your crush should like you for the person you are.
Vulnerability can be frightening. Sometimes it’s more difficult to communicate via text message early in the courtship. Why? Because we can’t see body language or facial expressions. The only thing we can see is her text responses.
As humans, our vulnerability connects us. So if your crush tells you about pieces of her personal life, it’s a good signal, showing that she likes and trusts you.
Here’s how to make a girl like you over text. It’s best to balance a robust masculine frame with humor, wit, and a good show of language skills. It would help if you also worked on connection-building, especially in-person dates.
How can you tell if it’s working? Does she take a short time to respond? That is evidence she likes you. The most painless way to know if she’s interested is by how fast she replies to your texts.
If she texts you immediately, it’s a promising sign that she’s into you. We make communication a priority if it’s someone we like. It’s even better if it becomes the back-and-forth 1:1 conversation we described earlier.