In some ways, technology has made it easier than ever before to flirt with people you like. No need to meet up in person or use witty lines on the spot. Texting makes it easy to craft the perfect message to send to anyone at any time.
But all this convenience has a downside. If you don’t know how to flirt over text the right way, you risk coming across as boring, odd, or downright creepy.
As it turns out, sending flirty texts is both an art and a science. Here’s how to do it well every single time.
Be Bold and Make the First Move
Hey, it’s __. It was great meeting you today.
Hey! How are you doing?
Let’s be real- you can go back and forth forever deciding when to send that first text. But at some point, you have to commit to just doing it! And the sooner you do it, the better.
Someone has to make the first move. Don’t keep them waiting around forever!
Act Like You’re Already A Dream Guy (Or Dream Girl)
If you want to know how to flirt over text, try this visualization exercise: Imagine you’re already the person of their dreams. You’ve already won them over.
How can this exercise help? Many times, people overthink their flirty text strategy. They feel overwhelmed or get caught on minor details rather than focusing on the main points.
But when you can go in with the mindset that you’re already pretty freaking great (and the other person adores you), that can give you a much-needed boost of confidence. It can help you flirt in a way that feels both natural and seductive.
The one caveat? You don’t want to come across as so conceited that you don’t pay attention to their unique preferences. Nobody wants to talk to a complete know-it-all.
Use Getting-to-Know-You Questions As Flirty Texts
If you had to be on a desert island, what’s the one item you’d definitely bring?
What’s the best memory from your past?
What’s your favorite part of your job?
Icebreaker questions certainly have their purpose when it comes to sending the right flirty text.
First, they allow you to really get to know the other person. This, of course, is important for any meaningful relationship.
But they’re also just easy and fun! And with the right approach, you can easily make any standard question a flirty text.
Have Them Answer Questions for You
I’m sooo hungry right now. What should I eat?
I’m buying you flowers. Which ones are you favorite?
Is this new game really that much fun? Should I try it?
Is it just me, or is this class just really boring?
These questions are somewhat flirty, and they make for an easy and engaging conversation. In a way, you’re eliminating some of the awkwardness by having them talk about things that already come naturally to them.
Reference an Inside Joke
I’m listening to ___, and I can’t stop laughing about what you said earlier.
Since you talked about that restaurant, I’ve been seriously craving sushi all day.
I totally saw ___ at the store today!
Flirty texts are a great way to expand upon inside jokes and make the conversation more fun and intimate at the same time. Inside jokes foster a sense of familiarity- there’s a shared “secret” between the two of you. And when you reference that joke, you’re signaling that they’re on your mind and you want them to know!
Let Them Know You Can’t Wait to See Them
I can’t stop thinking about you
Last night was amazing.
I’m dying to know what you’re going to wear tonight.
These short and sweet text messages all have one thing in common: they strongly convey that you absolutely love spending time together. Just the thought of it makes you smile, and thinking about that person has you wide awake in the middle of the night.
Master Your Emoji Game
The right emoji makes all the difference when it comes to elevating how you text. But with so many emoji options available, how do you choose wisely? Here are some quick tips:
Follow their lead: There’s nothing wrong with copying their flirty text strategy when it comes to emojis. If they have no problem, for example, sending the classic red heart, it probably means you’re safe to do that as well!
Use emojis as punctuation (not as entire thoughts): It may be helpful to consider using emojis sparingly. For instance, throw in a happy or blushing face after sending her your usual flirty good morning texts.
Be playful: It’s totally okay (and fun) to use emojis to be a little sassier when you flirt. The key lies in being confident.
Use emojis to share ideas: Beers clinking emoji? You’re ready to start celebrating! Fresh manicure emoji? You’re feeling fly and sassy! The infamous eggplant? Well, they’ll have to guess your intentions there!
Consider Their Love Language
The five love languages refer to how people value expressing and receiving love. While this may sound more geared toward committed, romantic relationships, it also has relevance in texting. When you know someone’s love language, you can make a better and more intentional effort to reflect on what they value most.
Words of affirmation: If they love being complimented, use flirty texting to your advantage by praising them appropriately! Simply saying, You’re amazing can go such a long way in making someone feel special.
Physical touch: No, you can’t touch someone through the phone screen, but you certainly can use flirty texts to emphasize physical sensations. I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. I can’t wait until you’re in my arms tonight. I want to give you a massage later!
Acts of service: Emphasize doing favors or thinking about them as you move about your day. I picked up dinner. I’m leaving work early tonight, so I can help you with that project!
Quality time: If this person values quality time above everything, use texting to highlight your desire to spend time together. Our next date is going to be amazing. Can we make lunch plans for tomorrow- actually, what are your lunch plans today?
Gifts: This is the trickiest love language to capture over text messages, but you can still be cute with it. I’m making you something special. I found you the perfect thing at the mall today.
Be Their First and Last Point of Contact
Life gets busy, and it’s easy to get swept up by the day’s content.
But trying to reach out to your crush first and the last thing can seal the deal when it comes to showing your interest.
Flirty Good Morning Texts
Good morning, beautiful! I hope your day goes well today.
I’m thinking about you right now.
I wish I was in bed with you.
If you generally wake up before them, these quick, flirty texts are perfect for starting their day. You’ll be the first thing on their mind!
Flirty Good Night Texts
I don’t want to stop texting you, but I’m falling asleep.
I love talking to you- can’t wait to see you.
Sweet dreams. I’m sure I’ll be thinking of you tonight!
There’s nothing quite like flirting with someone well into the depths of the night. At some point, of course, you need to go to sleep. But these punchy texts will keep someone missing you until they hear from you in the morning.
Elevate Your Photo Game
Taking a picture can take everything up a notch. And when you send one as a flirty text, you’re sending a clear message about your intentions.
Send a sexy selfie: Dress up. Wear something you don’t ordinarily wear or do your makeup slightly differently. The uniqueness of it all will drive them wild.
Add a cute prop: Whether you want to include a pretty necklace or an innocent-looking teddy bear, objects around your home can make a sweet photo look seductive and flirty.
Consider your facial expressions: A light smile shows that you’re fun and playful. A spicy smirk might show that you’re feeling r-rated today! A wink says you’re in the mood to keep sending flirty texts and pictures!
Just show off one body part: Nudes give everything away (and they can be dangerous to send). Instead, see if you can highlight just one body part while keeping the rest mysterious. Practice posing in different angles to get the right shot.
Limit or avoid using filters: Don’t hide what you really look like! They already find you attractive, and you want to keep them pining for you- not some filtered, unreal version of you!
Show That You’re a Good Listener
I was thinking about what you said last night, and I…
I hear that you really want to try ___. Maybe we could go together?
How did that new hike go?
Flirting isn’t just about being seductive or playful. Flirting is also a way to show your attentiveness to the other person. Ultimately, feeling like someone understands and validates you is what makes people fall in love!
In general, when considering your flirty text strategy it’s good to balance flirty texts with genuine compassion. You want to show interest while also being an actual human! It’s okay to show your ‘regular’ side.
Until You Feel It Out, Avoid Talking About Overly Serious Topics
There’s nothing wrong with chatting about politics, religion, or complex family dynamics. In fact, in a healthy relationship, getting everything out on the table can help both people feel supported.
But when you’re just getting to know someone, you don’t want to come across as overwhelming. Waiting tends to be better than acting too soon.
Highlight Exactly What You Want to Do When You See Them Next
I want our first kiss to be at the beach.
That last date taught me exactly how you liked to be touched. Keeping that in mind for next time…
I want to repeat that kiss today over and over again. How does tomorrow sound?
Knowing how to flirt over text requires knowing your intentions and knowing exactly when to let someone you can’t stop thinking about them. These kinds of forward flirty texts are forthcoming, but they’re sure to make them miss you even more!
As a bonus, this is a way to ask someone out on a date without coming across as too formal or awkward!
Let Them Know Your Phone Screen Makes You Think of Them
If you want to be extra bold, set a selfie of them or of you two as your lock screen. Then, send them that screenshot. It shows that they’re the main character in your life, and you like it that way!
I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I’d much rather be hanging with you.
Ugh this week has been so stressful. Want to help me relax?
Flirty texts are also rooted in reality. This means that it’s totally okay to vent about the details of your life. Just be careful to overdo it. Nobody wants to talk to a cynic all day.
If they care about you, they’ll do what they can to help you feel better! And that will get you in the mood to keep talking.
Send Things Without Context
A random bouquet emoji. A photo of your lunch. A stock picture of an office building.
These odd texts may seem strange, but part of good flirting entails keeping someone on their toes.
You want to sometimes send ambiguous words or images. Doing so serves two purposes.
First, you’re making them guess what you’re thinking (or wonder if you’re sending the wrong text).
And second, it opens the door to more conversation because they’re bound to send something back like, What is this? or ?????.
Always Keep Some Things Mysterious
I’ll tell you when I see you in person
I have something to show you the next time I see you
Texting is great, but it should never replace the inherent intimacy that comes with real-life, face-to-face conversation. If you give everything away virtually, you risk things feeling stale or complacent.
So, continue making the effort to balance spending time texting while also spending lots of time in person. That’s the whole point of talking, isn’t it?
Your phone offers unlimited potential to connect to your dream guy or dream girl. Flirting over text builds anticipation and keeps things interesting. And, ideally, as you make your intentions clear, the relationship will keep moving in the right direction!