In case you didn’t know it: You’re already brilliant.
You may not have been told that much lately, especially if you’re involved in some way with a narcissist.
They make everything just that little bit more shitty – including your self-esteem.
So if I offered you ways to prove how brilliant you are, by outsmarting a narcissist – you’d take it, right?
Anything to empower you!
I quite agree.
So now you know what you’re here for, what are you waiting for?
#1 You’ve Got To Get Clued Up
The word narcissist is thrown around so heavily these days, with frequent accusations of people who really don’t know the depth of destruction the word can have.
A narcissist is more than just a person with a slightly overinflated view of themselves, or who loves one too many selfies.
A narcissist is dangerous, and they are always looking for ways to hurt you, cause you pain, then lap up your sadness like it was their last feast before a fast.
Getting clued up on real narcissism and narcissistic abuse will give you the upper hand you’re searching for.
#2 Staying a Step Ahead
The first step is to be aware of how much there is to learn!
Terminologies, behaviors, dynamics, how they make you feel, familiar conflict that they execute so well, the silence, the gaslighting, the name-calling, the rage, the love-bombing – I am just scratching the surface here.
If you want to stay a step ahead of the narcissist in order to outsmart them, you have to learn them well.
If you can get ahead, you can predict more than what you are led into blindly. You can start to turn your powerlessness into empowerment.
If you can do that – you can get your life back.
#3 Complacency Leads To Trickery
I think all victims feel they’re complacent when they’re under the watchful and determined eye of a narcissist.
The belief that they’re simply letting it all happen without much interference is due to the desire to keep the peace, and not because they necessarily want to be abused.
If I ignore it, perhaps it will stop. Perhaps things will change.
If you become too complacent, you’ll shut off to the game playing, and you won’t awaken until you’re completely isolated, unrecognizable to yourself, and a hollowed-out version of the exuberant person you once were.
The more you allow the narcissist to roll the dice, the longer the game – and trickery – continues.
#4 Getting To Grips With Dynamics
The word dynamics has cropped up a few times, but I want to tell you what I mean by it.
You’re the type of person who is always used somehow by the narcissist. They call you up in their sickly sweet voice, and they ask how you are.
They butter you up.
After the buttering is done – they drop a bombshell on you. They take what information you’ve given them to the people they know it will cause drama.
They ask you a favor. They ghost you. They steal your ideas at work. They accuse you of stealing theirs.
So, I ask you now, if you really want to outsmart a narcissist, you have to understand what the dynamics are in your own circumstances.
Getting to grips with those is a surefire way of loading your tools up to outsmart them.
#5 The Narcissist’s Weaknesses
Every narcissist has a long list of weaknesses.
For some, it might be good food, or a good bottle of wine.
For others, it might be hearing gossip, or being the one to tell you gossip.
Others it may be sports, fast cars, or the gym.
Whatever the narcissist likes, find a way to give it to them, especially if it benefits you.
It’s funny watching any narcissist actually be at the unknown mercy of somebody who is baiting them for a change. A lot of them don’t even realize they’re being baited, they just love the attention.
So – give it to them.
Outsmart them!
#6 Know Your Strength
Let’s try to think of it a certain way:
To outsmart a narcissist, you must first need to know your strength. You’d be surprised here. Often victims are taught that they are the two W’s: Weak and worthless.
The only reason narcissists try to spin that narrative to you is because that’s how they want you to be.
But you’re not that person.
Outsmarting a narcissist comes from the refusal to be labelled anything other than the brilliant person you are. You’re more than able to think outside the box and win this battle.
Does it sometimes feel neverending?
Of course it does. They want to wear you down.
#7 Let’s Talk Boundaries
Having had their own way for far too long, narcissists need to know that your boundaries are stronger than ever.
It might come as a little shock to them to see you asserting your boundaries, being sure of yourself, and laying out what you will and will not tolerate.
When no means no, and yes means yes, you can find the narcissist losing their mind when they can’t overstep the mark any longer.
They will always try to, and they may change up how that attempt looks, but you will learn and know better.
#8 Exhausted From The Same Old
It’s what usually creates the desire for the victim to start outsmarting the narcissist. During this time, they think of ways to:
- Feel as though they aren’t being controlled like they used to be
- Stop the narcissist from trying to ruin their plans
- Prevent the narcissist from assuming they can just take and take
The same old doesn’t need to be the same new.
Outsmarting subtly can look like:
- Not revealing what your plans are, so they can’t ruin them
- Ignore them
- Go no-contact
- Go low-contact
- Go Grey Rock on them – give them no expression whatsoever
#9 Be Brilliant – Be You
Some of the best advice victims take when they’re trying to outsmart a narcissist is this:
The best revenge is success.
If you are the kind of person with the biggest, brightest aura, and a narcissist is trying to dim that light – the best thing you can do is to let it shine even brighter.
I know that’s not easy when you don’t know enough about abuse, and narcissistic abuse, but the more you learn, the more you can understand.
So, follow your goals. Have them in the first place. Want better, and work toward it.
Don’t let anybody stop you from wanting to achieve what you set your heart on. Follow the path that you want to follow, not the path you were pushed onto.
The best part about this is that there are no negatives.
You get to be you, you get to find and be happy, and the narcissist is outsmarted knowing their tactics are no longer effective.
