The party is here and the good vibes are flowing! You’ve waited for this for so long, yet the moment you walk into a room, you see them.
The narcissist.
You want to have a good time, but you know how impossible that will be if they’re anywhere near you. So what do you do?
I’ll let you into a secret…
You can make a narcissist walk away immediately by being the most boring person there.
Here’s how.
#1 The day has arrived!
It’s party day! How long have you been crossing off each day on the calendar to get to where you are now?
It doesn’t matter because finally the moment has come. This party has been such an exciting thought for you.
You’ve worked hard to get here, and you have everything ready for you to go and have the time of your life.
If there’s one person in the world who deserves it, it’s you.
You take that little extra time getting ready. Why? Because it’s such a special occasion that you’ve waited so long for!
#2 Getting to the party and catching the atmosphere
On the way to the party, you think about how lucky you are to get to do something so fun.
You think about all the people who will be there, who you’re looking forward to seeing.
This type of event only rolls around once a year, so you know how much catching up you have to do with the people, and who knows what new friends and connections you’ll make!
You arrive, and you walk into a real vibe. Immediately, you’re struck by how many people are in attendance, and you find yourself a table so you can sit down and scan the room to really see who is there, and who is yet to arrive.
With these kinds of events, you are in your element. You aren’t one of those people who commands attention from everybody else, yet you love to smile and start a conversation, because who knows where it may lead, right?
Plus, it’s a party! It’s a real time to celebrate and let your hair down for once. That is exactly what life is all about!
You are here for a good time, and a good time will be had!
#3 Incoming: the narcissist
Wait a moment. What is that you spot across the darkened, crowded room? Is it some kind of gloomy shadow?
You squint, as that shadow becomes closer and closer to you.
You feel uncomfortable, and as the shadow turns into a person – that person – your heart immediately sinks.
You were hoping they wouldn’t be here, yet here they are, ready to drown out all the fun and replace with it a heavy kind of negativity that you usually cannot wait to escape.
The narcissist.
You know, because they are carrying themselves like they’re the only person in the world.
They radiate the kind of energy that some are drawn to, but you want to escape.
You’re done falling for their charm, and you’re so over the stories they tell all night about themselves.
So what are your options?
You think fast, knowing there isn’t much time until they arrive with their sickly sweet smile in front of you, and suddenly, it dawns on you/
If you can be as boring as you can be, then maybe the narcissist will go find somebody else to bother.
#4 Being boring matters
There is nothing less alluring to a narcissist than when you are being boring.
They aren’t attracted to people who have nothing to say and nothing to offer.
I think that’s where finding yourself ticking all the boring boxes at a party will do you so many favors.
It goes alongside the idea of Gray Rock, a term known by professionals and survivors alike who have learned that an effective way to treat narcissists to make them lose their interest in you is by blending into nothingness, and offering them just as much in conversation.
Treat them emptily; and when they want your opinion or ask you a question, be as gray as you can.
“Uh-huh, sure, okay,” even a shrug. It’s hard when they’re all up in your perimeter trying to goad you into a reaction, and they go to such great lengths to see you crumble.
That doesn’t mean you have to.
So be boring. They will eventually tap out of the conversation knowing they can’t raise your anger, fear or anxiety.
Instead, they will scour the room and find their next victim who will be more willing to listen attentively and give them all the attention they’re craving.
This time, it’s just not going to be you.
#5 What your ‘boring’ does to the narcissist
When a narcissist approaches somebody who maintains the act of being boring on purpose, it’s like putting out a fire before it has a chance to spread and cause irreversible damage.
You owe yourself the fun of the party. You did not wait all this time to go and be weighed down by the twisted words of a person who does it for fun.
They stand before you, waiting for your response, and it’s so boring that they resemble a deflated balloon, slowly going down and making that “pfft” noise.
You’re doing nothing to them and their ego. For them, it’s like trying to take from a cup of supply that is in fact, empty.
Off they scurry, wondering why their usual magic wasn’t working on you.
But you know better. You already had the upper hand by promising yourself that you will present as the most boring person on the planet.
Now they’ve gone to the other side of the large room, you can unleash it again!
#6 Having a good time – away from them!
I salute anybody who does this. It takes a real character to play a narcissist’s game and come out winning, and I believe every single one of you can fit that description.
I know I’ve said it before, but it really does feel addictive to start gaining the power back and keeping them at a distance.
The best narcissists are the ones who are farthest away from you, and you ought to stop at nothing to make that happen.
The answers are always widely available, and it costs nothing to pretend to be a person that you aren’t.
Think of it this way: narcissists do that every single time they’re out in public!
As soon as they see you aren’t the sort of person who gives off the kind of energy that they can sap like you were a maple tree, they will be away like a shot looking for somebody who can offer it.
And that’s not your problem, by the way. Don’t feel sorry for Sally or Eric over the room who are now caught with them.
They will learn too, in time, to get them to walk away by being the most boring potato at the party.
As soon as they disappear, you can turn yourself back into the ray of light that you are!
