Part of my job is to help people overcome the abuse they suffered with the narcissist they knew.
Whether that was a sibling, parent, or spouse, the idea is the same…
…To heal is to realize there is an alternative to this madness.
With that comes the one phrase victims all agree is the point where they were able to leave the narcissist speechless.
And so, I gathered my tribe, and I let them freely express themselves here.
Let’s see what they had to share, shall we?
One Thing To Know
If I could offer you one piece of advice about narcissists that you just have to know, it’s this:
They aren’t as powerful as you think they are.
While narcissists do thrive on deception, control, and manipulation, they also rely on confusion and gaslighting to keep their victims questioning reality.
But what happens when their victims finally see through the lies?
Knowing the exact moment they shattered a narcissist’s illusion with just one powerful phrase saved their lives, and they want to save yours, too.
So what is this phrase?
I know exactly who you are.
Here’s how these words left narcissists everywhere speechless, and how the victims reclaimed their freedom.
I haven’t put names down, but I know they will know who they are.
“He stared at me like I had just exposed his deepest secret.”
The moment I said I knew who he really was, his smirk vanished. He kept asking me, ‘What do you mean?’ but I just walked away.
I wasn’t going to engage in any more of it. The damage was done, and I said what I said. I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.
“It was the first time I felt powerful in our relationship.”
For years, I let him manipulate me. Enough was enough, and I couldn’t take it any more.
It suddenly all made sense to me, and when I finally looked him in the eye and said, ‘I know exactly who you are,’ he couldn’t even respond. Just pure silence, and that was a first. I filed for divorce the next day.
“She tried to laugh it off, but I saw the panic in her eyes.”
It’s almost funny to think back on, but she did always control the narrative. When I said what I said, she went pale.
She knew the game was up. I left before she could twist my words.
“He started gaslighting me harder, but it didn’t work anymore.”
After thirty years of lies, I finally built the courage to confront him. He tried to tell me I was imagining things, but that wasn’t new.
He always tried to change my mind. I just repeated that I knew exactly who he was, and he had nothing left to say. We both knew then that it was over for good.
“She knew she had lost control over me.”
I used to be scared of her tantrums. She could really fly off the holland and scream at me, but when I said those words, she just stood there, silent.
It felt like a weight had been lifted off me, and it felt right. That was the last conversation we ever had.
“He tried to change the subject, but I didn’t let him.”
I kept repeating it: I know exactly who you are, I know exactly who you are. It was like a real moment of a light bulb going on in my mind.
He had no idea how to respond. The power dynamic shifted in an instant, and that was when I knew it was time to leave.
“Her fake tears stopped immediately.”
She was playing the victim like she always did, but when I calmly said, I know exactly who you are, she snapped.
No more fake crying. She had nothing. Goes to show, doesn’t it?
“He never expected me to say it.”
He always saw me as weak, but saying what I said made him go so quiet. Our time at that point was up, and we both knew it.
I couldn’t go on pretending I wasn’t being abused, when I clearly was.
“It was like watching a mask fall off.”
She had built this whole persona, and so many people believed it to be the real her.
I knew the truth, and it was a long time coming, but I let her know I knew who she really was. Exposing her felt good, and it also felt final, which I am glad of.
“It ended years of gaslighting in one second.”
He used to twist everything, and I got so sick of it. When I said those words, it was a moment where he just couldn’t twist like usual.
For me, that spoke volumes. I knew it was over.
“She tried to act confused, but I saw the fear.”
I’ll never forget that confused look on her face, it was a picture! She just kept saying, ‘What do you mean?’ over and over.
But she knew. And I knew she knew. She had nothing else, and it was a nice change to see her so speechless.
“His threats stopped instantly.”
He had been yelling at me for hours, and I just tolerated it. Until I just had enough.
It was so interesting to see him watch me be this brand new, brave person when all he’s been used to is somebody meek and mild.
“She couldn’t fake charm her way out of it.”
It just wasn’t happening this time. She was always somebody who would use intimacy as a way to get out of situations that weren’t working in her favor.
Oh how a few words can change it all!
I walked away that day, and never looked back. She couldn’t love-bomb her way out of it this time.
“It was the first time I saw her scared.”
She had controlled me for years. But in that moment, it was all me. Thank God I did, because I felt it really saved me.
There were no words that could undo what I had learned about her, and narcissism in general.
“She tried to laugh, but it sounded fake.”
I could just sense she was caught off guard. The fakeness was so obvious, but it was clearly a cover for what I had discovered and exposed.
She had nothing left to give, and I was relieved.
“It was the moment I took my life back.”
It was scary to think I had done something so sure and stamped. For too long, I never thought I’d be anything without her.
I realized quickly that I was wrong. Her lack of knowing what to say cemented it for me. I was done.
