You’re in a room surrounded by people you love. It’s Christmas, and the merriment is flowing.
You are happy, but a comment flies across the room, or even deceptively subtle into your ear from next to you, and it changes everything.
Suddenly, your smile drops, and Christmas is ruined. You wish it wasn’t, but unfortunately, the narcissist knows exactly what they are doing, and how, in one moment, to totally change the vibe.
Here’s how.
#1 It’s Christmas…and you are all together
For those who have families that are close and happy to spend Christmas together, then it will be the occasion that you all wait for.
The countdown is on, and you’re walking towards Christmas with your eyes full of sparkle, and your minds full of magical wonder.
I know, I know. As perfect as the picture might look, there is somebody in it that has full intention of ruining the day, and you just know they will get in as many comments as they can in order to annoy the maximum number of people.
As together as you may be, don’t bank on being happy and joyous for long.
#2 A plethora of opportunity for chaotic comments
The narcissist sees Christmas similarly in a way to you.
They see you all coming together, in one place at the same time.
But they don’t think of how nice that is, they see it as an opportunity to throw one comment at a time to people who are having a good time, in order to fade their smile…
…And their worth.
Remember, Christmas is also a time where the drink can start to flow, so it can take even less for the narcissist to cross lines, and even less for those on the receiving end to get upset and react.
Christmas is the best time of year, but is a recipe for disaster when it comes to narcissists and their obsession with upsetting comments.
#3 One fine day, ruined by the narcissist
So, what kind of comments can you expect to hear falling out of the narcissist’s mouth?
For this part, I listened to you guys in previous posts and emails, and compiled a list you all made together.
Are you still not eating meat? Do you not mind that your shoes are made of leather?
I thought you said you were due for a promotion this year?
How do you find juggling being a parent with all your other household chores?
Did you make this pastry? Did you miss an eggwash on it?
I appreciate that money is tight for you. I don’t expect a gift in return.
Wow, you let your hair get really long. Don’t you miss styling it?
It doesn’t matter who the victim of the comment is, there is always a way to cut them down and turn their smile into a frown.
You can see by these example comments that numbers of you have suffered similarly in the past.
#4 They pick out who they see as weak
As you are scouring the room to decide who to talk to next, the narcissist is doing the same, only they’re thinking:
Who will be next on my hitlist?
They tend to pick out who they see as weak because for them, it’s just an easier strike before moving swiftly on to the next person.
There’s no other real process to their cruelty, just who seems the most likely to react to them, or let their comment sit and fester within.
#5 The fall-out ensues
Isn’t it amazing that when a fallout occurs, the narcissist will take the biggest step back from the chaos in such a quick time?
I kid you not. Wait until you are next in the room when it happens, and before you react to what’s going on, take a look at who caused it and where they are fve seconds later.
Narcissists are that weak and scared that they can’t even be in the same room as the mess they cause.
All they are happy knowing is that the drama has unfolded, and that the plan they had for that moment worked.
Christmas is that kind of time where it’s perfect for the narcissist to see an argument, as it will always be known as, “The Christmas that happened.”
On the other breath, they will throw their hands up innocently:
It had nothing to do with me.
Sure. And pigs might fly.
#6 “Me? What did I say?”
You finally pluck up the courage to point the finger at them.
This is because of what you just said, you do know that don’t you?
Game over – for you at least.
What are you talking about?
I didn’t say anything.
What was I supposed to have said?
The narcissist knows full well, and as they back away and act like they didn’t do a thing, you might know the truth, and you’ve every right to do what’s right and blame the guilty.
Just don’t expect the narcissist to own up. In fact, be prepared for you to take some blame along the way.
#7 The “just a joke” line
I hate this line! It tells me everything that I need to know about narcissists and how absolutely childish and poisonous they are.
Can’t people take a joke?
Lighten up, I was just kidding.
It was just a joke.
What happened to having a sense of humor?
I have to bite my tongue as I am typing this because it is so audacious to blame somebody else for being the problem when they’re just questioning the moral lines of a narcissist.
#8 Christmas crumble
I’m afraid I’m not talking about the kind of yummy crumble that you might find a mulled, poached pear in.
This is the kind of crumble that happens when a person falls victim to a narcissist, and is an internal crumble.
If you know what it’s like to be the butt of a joke in front of others, or pulled up on for something innocent you like or happen to be wearing, you will know that feeling.
The ground has been pulled out from underneath you.
Narcissists will make it happen, and trust me, there is no limit to what they will say or do in order to see you feel like the ground is coming for you.
Of course, any comment will be innocent to them, but it will hurt you.
Trust you to be near the cakes!
I thought you’d be over there talking to grandpa about your job. Must be boring, but at least it pays the bills.
Are you still into cartoons? (said to somebody who animates for a living).
It’s just a comment to the narcissist, but to you, it’s like a little chip to the heart.
And what do you do? Yell at them for being unkind? Nothing that they say will be overly rude enough for you to end up being the one who looks good if you were to snap back, so they basically have you cornered.
Christmas will be officially ruined if you invite the narcissist along!
