Hey, you over there! Do you want to give all of yourself to a person who is going to end up crushing your soul and personality?
I didn’t think so. Yet when narcissists come along and use you as their new form of supply, that’s exactly what they do with a painted smile on.
It’s time to look at why they do it, and how long it is before they get totally bored of your supply.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you first meet
So many of you will account for the fact that meeting a narcissist initially feels like one of the best things to happen to them in a long time, if ever.
The butterflies!
The intensity!
The feeling of “finally! I met The One!”
Being swept off my feet!
The attention!
The affection!
It’s these kinds of thoughts that cement the bond between you and them, and they know it, too.
In fact, they use that feeling as a strong weapon against you from the start, knowing they’ve lured you in and made you feel like this is the end game, for all the right reasons.
You’re officially their new supply, not that you’re even slightly aware of that or what that could mean in that moment.
So what does supply actually mean?
“What can I take from this person?”
When a narcissist finds their next victim, whoever that may be, they turn on certain areas of charm and niceness to make you perceive them not just as perfect, but perfect for you.
They want to know that they’re investing in somebody who can give them everything they want in return.
But that charm fades, and it fades to a point where all you’re doing is giving, and all they’re doing is taking.
Supply at first can look like:
- Offering you compliments and watching you take them, feeling great about them
- Trusting this person who has walked into your life and made it so much better
- Listening to every word they say…
- And believing every single one
- Telling them that you can’t picture your life without them
This kind of supply is a major boost to the narcissist, who seeks to affirm their place in this world through you.
It’s widely known that narcissists are the most insecure people out there, but the likes of you soaking up their fake kindness helps them feel wanted and valued.
So then, we get to other sources of supply. These kick in after that initial love-bomb phases when you first meet, and can look like:
- Throwing your fears or triggers back in your face and watching you react to them
- Giving you the silent treatment and listening to you beg to know what you did wrong
- Creating a scenario that makes you jealous, so they can see exactly how it affects you
- Criticizing you the moment you look like you’re having too much fun (according to them)
When I write “what can I take from this person?”, as if I were the narcissist, the list is really quite endless, and it never works out in your favor.
So, how and when could they get bored?
“I need more of this!”
Come on! You know narcissists are famous for always wanting more, and never having enough of one thing that they use and abuse!
Your supply is golden to them, for sure. They actually value having it. Think of it this way.
When you feel happy, it’s genuine. It’s based on something that happened, or that you saw or heard, right?
You feel pride easily, you feel all the good stuff. Narcissists can’t create these emotions, so they have to do the next best thing – they have to steal yours.
And one person can sometimes not be enough. I mean, what if you’re not around?
What if you’re at work, or driving? They need that hit instantly because it’s not something they can produce themselves.
So they need more supply.
You’re old news now.
Leaving vs. adding to their supply chain
The question is, do they leave you for a new supply, or do they add to yours?
In truth, narcissists can do both. If you’re really not giving them what they want, they won’t hesitate to drop you like you were a piece of trash they want to discard.
That’s not your fault, either. If they leave because they got bored of you, it’s likely to be because you either weren’t playing their pathetic game, or you brought too much peace that couldn’t be disrupted or destroyed to the table.
They don’t like either of those things, so you will become yesterday’s news.
If they want you around because you do provide that supply but they just want more, they will search for it.
Scrolling social media for their exes.
Using random dating sites to get a quick fix.
Flirting with their coworker to get a little lunch time attention.
Causing problems between their family or friendship groups.
Chatting to strangers in an attempt to impress them.
Narcissists will do whatever it takes to get that supply, and it can happen…
…Literally the day they meet you.
That’s right. It’s like an endless quest for them to search for as much supply as they can, like they were preppers getting ready for the next bout of war or disease.
Using you and nothing but
Because narcissists look for new supply so quickly, I think it’s fair to say that they use literally everybody they meet. There are no genuine, authentic connections between them and those they know.
Everybody plays a part in the narcissist’s game.
You’ve probably heard of that before, but it’s true. We are all literal chess pieces, and the narcissist will move us around their toxic board to suit their own agenda and fulfil their own needs.
I do think it’s worrying, because so many people don’t see it at first. Then, by the time they do, it’s too late.
They’ve already bonded with the narcissist and leaving them becomes that much harder. So, what can you do about becoming their new supply?
You think it’s real
Why wouldn’t you? You’ve learned over your lifetime to be honest and to accept people for who they tell you they are, without even considering it’s just an act.
And when you eventually click to see what’s happening, you feel hurt and betrayed.
These are natural responses to the narcissist sucking the life and supply out of you during the course of time they’ve known you.
You wonder why you have become a version of yourself you don’t even recognize while the narcissist seems to be thriving!?
It’s all to do with supply. They’re on top of the world, and you’re running on empty.
Well, I’ve got news for you. The narcissist will treat you how they want to treat you, and if that means getting bored of you after 5 minutes of knowing you, then that’s exactly what they’re going to do.
Don’t give them what they want
If the narcissist can’t get to you, then they can’t steal from you.
Your supply is your health, your wellbeing, your smiles, your laughs, the way you take risks and try to improve your life, the love you have for yourself, the care you take when living your life.
If a narcissist wants to sap the life out of you, they will start by removing your ability to do all of these things.
Is that what you want?
It’s time to start thinking about your boundaries and what they really mean for you. There’s no time like the present!
