Narcissists can react in ways that take the rest of us ‘normal’ folk by surprise. Every now and then, they can pleasantly surprise, but I want you to make no mistake here:
There’s always a motive.
Don’t get sucked in.
When a narcissist’s lies are uncovered, you can bet you’ll see some completely insane reactions – some almost childlike!
If you think you know them and have them figured out, you ain’t seen nothing till you’ve seen them deep in action.
As they try to dig themselves out of the deep hole of dishonesty – you can learn a thing or two about what you’re seeing.
Lies: What Do You Think?
We all know it’s not good to lie.
Once you lie, you have to remember that lie. Then it grows and grows, and you end up having more lies piled on top of it.
Soon, you can’t remember what’s a lie, and what’s the truth.
Why bother?
Lies hurt people, they rupture trust, and they damage all relationships, both personal and professional.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but narcissists aren’t wired the way we are.
They love lies.
Lies help them hide who they are underneath all the layers of falseness. They can be who they want to be, right?
Sure, they own a fast car.
Yeah, they’ve been to Bora Bora five times.
Yes, they know the CEO of that huge company in Tokyo.
No, they don’t. They own a Ford, and they don’t go on vacation because they spend all their money on gambling.
Oops, have I said too much?
The narcissist, ladies and gentlemen.
Uncovering the Lies
Well, if you are brave enough, those lies will be exposed. If anybody else is brave enough, they will uncover them, too.
But what a lot of people ask me, is how the narcissist reacts when you do.
How Narcissists React When Their Lies Are Uncovered
#1 Denial – Plain and Simple
Narcissists don’t care how they hide their lies. They never have. They’ll do what it takes to ensure you don’t find out the truth, even if it means denying directly to your face.
Imagine it for a moment:
You have caught them in a huge, whopper of a lie. You know they’ve lied, and you uncover them. Maybe you tell somebody, who then asks the narcissist.
How do they react?
Well, take cover.
Denial is first on the list, but it’s swiftly followed by other worrying responses.
You might notice an overly dramatic:
It wasn’t me!
I would never do that!
I cannot believe somebody would have me so wrong.
They might concoct elaborate stories to explain away the evidence, twisting facts until you’re left questioning your own reality. It’s like watching a bad soap opera where the protagonist is never guilty, no matter how damning the proof.
Denial is their shield, and they wield it with the confidence of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. To them, maintaining their false image is paramount, and they’ll bend the truth until it’s unrecognizable to protect themselves.
#2 Blame-Shifting
If denial fails, narcissists will move to tactic number two:
Blame-shifting.
Yay! It’s now my fault for what you lied about!
Hooray! I’m to blame for uncovering your dishonesty!
Isn’t it all a hoot?!
No.
This is actually where things get maddening. Caught in any lie, the narcissist will turn those tables. You’ll be the villain, and they will love watching you receive those ‘boos!’
What upsets people the most isn’t the narcissist’s dishonesty, but your supposed betrayal.
#3 Gaslighting
That’s where gaslighting comes in…
This toxic twisting of your perception of reality makes you doubt yourself and feel guilty for even bringing up the lie in the first place.
Gaslighting is their ultimate weapon here. Think about it if they can question your sanity and memories, they can also aim to make you second guess the actual truth.
Their mission? To get you to be so confused, you don’t even bother anymore.
It’s all intended to get you to play hush.
#4 Victim-Mode
Poor me, poor narcissist.
I’m so hurt. How could you do this to me?
I’m just a decent person trying hard to get by.
Why do you always have to have me down as the bad person?
I try my best, and it’s never noticed.
I can’t believe you are accusing me. It’s so hurtful.
They want sympathy. In anyone’s sympathy, there is no attention to the initial problem. It now just becomes about the solution: Making the narcissist feel better.
Boo-Hoo.
Be prepared for those heartstrings!
#5 Minimization
Hey, let’s talk this through. I think you’re really overreacting, here.
It really isn’t a big deal.
It’s hardly a lie, I just forgot to mention it.
All the ways a person can minimize being dishonest, a narcissist has them all written down in a book, ready to reveal.
It’s meant to completely downplay their lies, so you end up shrugging them off as nothing major. What does that do?
It leaves room for them to be able to keep lying. Time and time again.
#6 Narcissistic Amnesia
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I can’t even remember what I did yesterday.
Sorry, you’re making me really confused, here.
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
That old selective memory, right?
Narcissists will react with confusion to get you to back off. You’d be surprised how much it works.
#7 Rage/Intimidation
Forget everything else – if it all fails – the narcissist will resort to rage.
How DARE you?
Well, in truth, how dare you, yet here we are talking about my audacity to uncover your lies…
This approach is designed to intimidate you, so that you back down and never step out of line again.
It works to some degree, until people begin to have enough in that powerless space.
#8 Flying Monkeys: Activated
You know I’d never do this, you know me!
No, the narcissist isn’t talking to you. They’re talking to all the people they have slowly recruited to have their backs should the castle walls fall.
Amazingly, people do get drawn in, and they do side with the narcissist. It’s absolutely appalling, I will agree with you.
This reaction is out of fear. They don’t want anyone suspecting them of being the abusive person they are behind that very charming mask.
If it doesn’t slip, nobody will be able to tell.
And those lies? Well, they were all your imagination.
You’re the crazy one.
You’re the troublemaker.
You’re out with a plan to destroy, and you will sadly not win at their game unless you walk away with your dignity intact.
