Narcissists get away with so much – it’s hard to ever know if Karma will come and bite them.
It’s one thing getting away with saying something, it’s quite another cheating.
Yes, narcissists are infamous for having a wandering eye. They can’t help themselves, and guess who suffers…?
…You.
Cheating is not okay, but the question I am asked a lot is:
How does the narcissist not only cheat, but get away with it?!
This one will hit hard for so many, so prepare to hear the hard truth.
Narcissists: In a Nutshell
Narcissists possess an overly inflated sense of self-importance, as well as a desperate need for admiration from all. You probably know one or two people who fit that mold.
They see themselves as deserving of more, like it’s their one word motto.
More attention!
More affection!
More everything!
This sense of entitlement makes them believe that the usual rules of fidelity don’t apply to them. In fact, they don’t even consider rules. They simply live how they want, and they don’t care about any consequences.
They’re above consequences.
They view relationships as a means to an end. a source of validation and ego-boosting. When the novelty of one partner wears off, or when they crave additional validation, cheating becomes a justifiable option in their minds.
Mastering Deception
Narcissists are so cunning, aren’t they?
Not only do they know how to create and maintain a façade of loyalty, they also do it with trustworthiness.
They want to look devoted to you, they tell the world how much they love and care for you. They build up such a strong character of honesty and good that nobody, I mean nobody, would suspect or accuse them.
Nobody.
They charm, and they truly deliver with that charm. The strong foundation they work hard to build almost sets a stage for them.
As soon as it looks ready, they jump on it, and perform to their heart’s content. It is here they deceive, but there’s no audience to see it.
When they eventually do stray, this warped established reputation as a loving partner makes it harder for their infidelity to be questioned.
Who’s going to question such a good, kind soul?
(Pass me the sick bucket!)
How Narcissists Manipulate Trust for Infidelity Purposes
Why would you even suggest I would cheat? I love you!
It goes against everything I believe to be good.
I haven’t got the time to cheat. I’m either here with you, or at work!
As much as you want to blame me for something I haven’t done, I refuse to let you.
It’s like a weird kind of reverse psychology, isn’t it?
Well, it’s done on purpose, and it’s done well.
You’re left thinking, “Of course they won’t cheat. They said they wouldn’t.”
Let’s get into this a little deeper, shall we?
“You’re Imagining Things!”
The narcissist will use gaslighting as a main tool if you so much as whisper that you think they may be cheating.
Gaslighting is the worst form of psychological manipulation going, and it is a popular way for them to get you to think what they want you to think.
So you suspect something, and you’ve had this gut feeling for a while now. The time has come where you need to ask them straight out.
What’s going on? Are you being unfaithful to me?
You’re going to be met with words that make you apologize to them for even daring to suggest such a thing.
How appalling of you!
“Do you honestly think I’d cheat?”
“You’ve been watching too many dramas on TV!”
“Have you been listening to that relationship podcast again?”
“Come on, be real, you’re smarter than this.”
The reverse psychology can be maddening to those who know it well, but at the time, it’s the narcissist’s ‘get out of jail card.’
It’s possible that you can even find evidence, and they would still look at you like you were from another planet.
This is nothing! This is to do with work. I am not having an affair. To suggest such a thing is an insult to me and my love for you.
Oh yes, they are wizards at making their victim feel guilty – so much so that they should come with their own cloak and sorting hat!
You’re being paranoid!
No, you’re not. You’re hurt and you want answers.
The narcissist will never give you them, and instead will continue to get away with their infidelity.
Careful of Projection!
A great game the narcissist loves to play – Projection.
Sounds like a fun board game, right? Well, it’s not. It’s horrible, and it makes the person on the other end feel purposefully awful.
Projection is when the narcissist will accuse their partner of the very behavior they are guilty of.
It’s a classic case of the best defense is a good offense.
If they sense that you are becoming suspicious, they have the ability to turn the tables and accuse you of infidelity.
Wonderful, isn’t it!
Talk about diverting attention! If you wise up to this, you’ll know never to blame yourself.
The Double Life – The Excuses
Oh, they will come thick and fast. The excuses, if the narcissist has truly been caught in the act, will be terrible.
Prepare for:
They threw themselves at me!
What was I supposed to do?!
It was a little flirting that got out of hand.
You’re honestly going to hold this against me?
I don’t even know them. It just happened.
Nothing ‘just happens.’
The narcissist should know better but, because they’re narcissists, they, well, don’t.
Seeing your pain won’t be enough for them to hold their hands up and offer you the apology you deserve (at the very least).
How Narcissists Slip Through Relationship Cracks
The narcissist’s character is predictable, and it all stems from:
Zero Conscience
They don’t care. If they want to cheat, they will. If you question them it’s going to be your fault for even considering it.
Maximum Entitlement
Narcissists are known to be the most entitled on the planet. They think they’re owed everything, from multiple partners to apologies.
Even when the person apologizing has done nothing wrong!
Minimum Care
They can’t care because they don’t know how to. They’ve never been taught to think of anybody but themselves, which is why they remain number 1 always.
Love-Bombing You – Diversion!
As narcissists are naturals at love-bombing, they can diffuse any suspicion of cheating by being suddenly and overly romantic to you.
Hey, if you’re elbow deep in red roses, then they can’t possibly be cheating – can they?!
