Q & A: How Can I be a Responsible Co-parent with a Narcissist while Living Apart?

Q: My girlfriend of one year, who shows around 75% of the narcissist traits described on this site,claims she is 13weeks pregnant by me. Although there is lots i love about her, I now know our relationship will always be a disaster due to all the undeserved abuse and blackmail i have had. If she IS pregnant(she has shown me her scan)and a DNA test proves its my baby, how can i be a responsible parent given the fact i now realize i can never live with her??(we currently live apart)

A: You can be a responsible co-parent without living in the same house. You would be wise at this point to keep separate domiciles. If you have only known her a year and there has already been considerable abuse and blackmail, I am afraid you are probably in for a really rocky road ahead. There are many articles and books about co-parenting that can give you specific strategies for co-parenting when the other parent is difficult. Do all the reading you can on narcissism as well as on co-parenting; the understanding and strategies will be invaluable to you. There are several articles on this website that would be of interest to you including “The Narcissist and Children” and “Are My Children Safe with a Narcissist?“.

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