My Ex Has Unblocked Me But No Contact, Why?

Last Updated on May 8, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Whether or not you’re the one that initiated it, breakups are incredibly painful.

Even when it’s for the best, you’re losing someone that was a big part of your life, someone that you probably share a lot of memories with and have a strong emotional attachment with.

This is why it’s especially hard when your partner blocks you on social media platforms. 

If you are in a toxic relationship, going no contact is probably the healthiest thing for both of you. Those who’ve dated a narcissist know that they frequently come back to old relationships, only to extract some love and affection before moving on to their next victim.

However, some people block their exes after breakups because it’s just too hard for them to see their former partner having new relationships while their feelings are still so raw.

But what does it mean if that same ex unblocked you after a few months? Why did he/she unblock me but not contact me? Are they ready to give the relationship one more chance?

Do they want you to see that they’ve unblocked you and are waiting for you to contact them? Is it just a good sign that the two of you can be friends?

This article will explore how the ins and out’s of your ex’s social media behavior and what it means for the two of you going forward.

What Does It Mean When Your Ex Unblocks You?

“My ex has unblocked me but hasn’t messaged me yet. What does it mean?” Well, it could mean all sorts of things, but one thing it most certainly means is that your ex is paying attention to you.

They’ve unblocked you for a reason, which could be personal or they might hope that you’ve noticed their actions.

What Does It Mean When Your Ex Unblocks You

But, on the other hand, not knowing why they’ve unblocked you, seemingly out of the blue, is probably driving you insane. These are some of the eight most common reasons an ex unblocks you.

8 Reasons Why Your Ex Unblocked You

Relationships are complicated, and breakups are no different. Sometimes it’s acrimonious – someone cheated, or there was a blowout fight between you.

Other splits are the result of growing apart and are relatively civil. Without knowing the details of your relationship, it’s impossible to say why your ex has unblocked you but hasn’t initiated contact.

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However, there are several common reasons why they might have done so. 

He/She is Over His/Her Anger

If you’re the one that severed the relationship or did something that forced your partner to break it off with you, they may have some hurt feelings or anger issues to sort through.

Following the no contact rule with you may be their way of protecting themselves, or they could be using it to show their displeasure with you.

He/She is Over HisHer Anger

Either way, those emotions fade with time, and when they do, your ex might reopen the lines of communication.

He/She is Missing You

No matter how bad the breakup, you and your ex can reflect back on almost every relationship has its good moments. When they do, it could rekindle some feelings for you, and they may reevaluate why the relationship ended in the first place.

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Those mixed feelings can turn into longing, but your ex could still be on the fence about being the first one to initiate contact. They’re throwing out a trial balloon to see how you’ll react.

He/She is Worried About You

Unless your breakup was especially awful, your ex probably still cares about you, even though they don’t want to continue a romantic relationship.

Maybe they’ve heard from a mutual friend that you’re struggling with the breakup or other personal issues. They’re wondering if you need support, and unblocking you is a way to show that they care and are available if you need them.

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Your Ex is Struggling

Since your ex went no contact, you have no way of knowing what’s going on in their life. Maybe they lost their job, had a bad rebound relationship, or they’re just lonely.

To cope with their troubles, they come back to the person that previously provided them with emotional support – you. As such, getting support from you might be a sign of desperation and shouldn’t be taken as an indicator that they want to get back together. 

Your Ex is Struggling

He/She is Wondering if You’ve Met Someone Else

Immediately after the breakup, your ex may have wanted nothing to do with you. Time heals all wounds, though, and eventually, curiosity gets the best of them.

They want to know if you see anyone and how they compare to them. Is not the healthiest behavior, but it’s hard to resist the impulse to look. 

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He/She Has Met Someone 

On the topic of unhealthy behaviors, your ex may have unblocked you because they want you to check out their account.

They hope you’ll see that they have a new partner and that it makes you jealous. If your ex unblocks you, it’s not a great idea to scroll through their past photos.

He/She Wants to Get Back Together

This is the least likely of reasons for unblocking but not contacting you, but it does happen. If your ex was interested in giving it another go, they wouldn’t have blocked you in the first place or they would have immediately contacted you after unblocking you.

He/She Wants to Get Back Together

So you can see how unlikely it is that this unblocking event turns into a rekindled romance. Miracles do happen though but assume this is the exception to the rule.

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Your Ex is Just Bored

Perhaps the least satisfying of all explanations is that your ex is simply bored. How often have you looked up an old friend, colleague, or partner on social media just to see what they were up to, without an agenda?

It happens and you don’t want to read into it too much. If you see you’re unblocked and immediately DM your ex, they might block you again.

Why Didn’t Your Ex Reach Out After Unblocking You?

“She unblocked me, but no contact, what gives?”

Assuming your ex didn’t unblock you out of sheer boredom, why didn’t they contact you afterward. There’s a good chance you wouldn’t even notice that they’ve unblocked you. What’s the point? 

Your Ex is Unsure of Their Feelings

You’re watching the healing process play out in real-time – your ex wants you to know they’re open to talking to you again, but they’re not actually ready to talk.

Your Ex is Unsure of Their Feelings

Maybe after a few weeks or months of seeing each other’s updates, they’ll get more comfortable and ready to send you messages.

He/She Wants to Make Peace 

Blocking someone on social media is an unmistakable signal that you don’t want them in your life. When your ex blocked you, they didn’t want you to see their updates and photos, and they didn’t care to see yours.

Blocking someone indefinitely, especially if you share mutual friends, is perceived as holding a grudge. Sometimes an ex will unblock you to say they’re ready to move on and don’t hold any ill will towards you.

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Importantly, this does not necessarily mean they want you back in their life. 

Your Ex is Bad at Expressing His/Her Feelings

Let’s be honest, this is more often a problem when your ex is a guy. ‘He unblocked me, but hasn’t reached out’ is a common refrain amongst women because men just don’t know how to make peace after a relationship.

Maybe they said some hurtful things during the break-up or maybe it was their feelings that got hurt, but either way, they don’t know how to smooth things over and move on to the friendship stage of this relationship.

Your Ex is Bad at Expressing HisHer Feelings

Your Ex Needs You to Make the First Move

You know your ex better than just about anyone, were they the type of person to make the first move, or was it always you pushing the relationship to progress? Relationship dynamics continue to play out even after the relationship ends.

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You could be witnessing those same old patterns after they’ve unblocked you; they’re afraid of appearing to forward and need you to make first contact.

Your Ex Doesn’t Intend to Make contact

We all have people from high school in our friends list that we don’t talk to or even interact with their posts on social media.

However, we keep them on our friend’s list to check up on them from time to time. It’s human nature to be a little curious, even if those people don’t play any role in our adult lives.

The same could be true for your ex. They might want to know if you get married or have a kid, but they’re not interested in reaching out to you.

What Should You Do When You are Unblocked?

Again, this entirely depends on you and your ex’s relationship and why they blocked you in the first place.

Unblocking you could be part of their healing process, or it could be done to get a reaction out of you. Everyone’s situation is different, but these are a few ways to respond once your ex unblocks you. 

What Should You Do When You are Unblocked

Do Nothing

Do absolutely nothing. Don’t DM them, don’t scroll through their photos, just don’t take any action whatsoever.

Why complicate the situation if you’re okay with never speaking to your ex again and are happy with how things turned out for you post-breakup?

This is especially true if you are in different professional and social circles and won’t bump into each other down the road. You weren’t meant to be together, and that’s okay. 

Send Them a Message

Think very carefully before going down this path. Did your relationship end on good terms? Have you both had time to heal? What’s your endgame for making contact?

Unless you have clear evidence that your ex wants to get back together (and you want to also), don’t assume that they unblocked you because their feelings have changed.

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If you do make contact, don’t come on too strong; a simple ‘how are you?’ will do. You have no way of knowing what their intentions were, so it’s best to keep these vague and non-confrontational starting off.

Check Out Their Profile

If you’re up for a bit of sleuthing, there’s the option of investigating why your ex unblocked you.

For example, go through some Facebook posts to see if they’re dating anyone new, if they’ve recently had a personal setback, or had any major life events.

Understanding their mental state will give you a leg up should they decide to contact you later on. However, if the idea of browsing through your ex’s old memories sounds too painful, avoid doing so until you’ve had time to heal.  

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He Unblocked Me, But No Contact – Should I Do Anything?

This is like asking if you should get back together with your ex. It’s a question that only you can give a meaningful answer to. As a general rule for both questions, the answer is no.

If your ex blocked you and hasn’t reached out, they probably aren’t looking for a response. Maybe they’re curious as to how you’re doing or maybe they want to make you jealous.

He Unblocked Me, But No Contact - Should I Do Anything

In either case, no response is needed from you.

Having an ex unblock you can do a real number on your psyche; you tend to overthink, question their motives, feelings towards you, and most importantly, your feelings towards your ex.

Your whole narrative about the relationship can get upended, and you may even question why you broke up in the first place. Don’t fall into this trap. 

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Your ex blocked you after the break-up, which means it probably wasn’t all that cordial. They may go no contact for their own sake after every break-up, but they’ll probably reach out to you sometime in the future if that’s true.

So be patient and let them take the lead.

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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