Today, I want to know what you notice about narcissists. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are a lot of strange goings on when it comes to them.
If I can be so bold as to tell you 8 of the weirdest things about them, then it might just help you sidestep them like you would dog poop on the street.
Hey, I’m all about keeping your shoes – and your heart – free from s**t.
#1 They just cannot be alone
I don’t care what anybody else says, narcissists cannot stand to be alone.
They might pretend to, but the reality is they hate their own company because they hate themselves.
That’s not the vibe they give you, I grant you. They want to tell the world how wonderful they are, and how trusted they can be.
Look at me, and how caring I am.
I am so loveable!
I’ve got it together.
I don’t need anybody.
The truth couldn’t be further.They need you.They need supply. They need people.
Without people, there is no conflict. Without conflict, there is no drama. Without drama, there is no satisfaction. Without satisfaction, there is no feeling of superiority.
If you have ever noticed how unable narcissists are to be alone, then you will find it as equally strange as I do.
#2 They hate your success
Your success is the enemy of the narcissist. They do not want you to do well in life, because your light will ultimately end up making them look smaller.
I know, it seems so crazy to think that somebody would not want to see you fly high and achieve in anything you do, but the narcissist doesn’t think or act like a normal person.
They feel threatened whenever anybody tries to do well, and will sabotage it if they can.
They want to claim the attention for themselves. Imagine needing something so badly that they would physically and mentally stop you if you are close to getting it?
#3 You are constantly blamed by them
What is your fault this time? Why are you yet again being blamed when you definitely weren’t even part of it?
I get so baffled by the way narcissists treat their victims, that it’s really hard for me to see the victim then so upset.
The dinner didn’t taste right. It’s your fault.
It’s too cold out. It’s your fault.
They can’t find their keys. It’s your fault.
The bin day changed. It’s your fault.
Anything and everything, the narcissist will pin it on you and make you feel so guilty and ashamed for things that don’t even remotely involve you.
#4 They use you to suit them
You’re good when you are offering something the narcissist can utilize.
Whether that is a good connection to a potential job offer, your finances, or even the fact that you’re a loyal person who sees the good in them and makes them look like a family person.
You will be used, and they’ll probably place you on a pedestal all the while they’re singing your praises.
Until they’ve got what they want, that is. When that happens, you will be sent out with the trash, ignored, forgotten and neglected.
It’s a vicious cycle with narcissists, so I wouldn’t expect anything else during your time with them.
Zero consistency, zero accountability.
#5 You never really hear about their past
The past of a narcissist will be kept under lock and key, for the simple reason being they don’t want you to know the truth of how their life turned out before they met you.
You might get snippets, or half truths, but to know what happened will never come to light.
Why? Because the truth will alarm you, and will wave all the obvious red flags your way that are possible.
These are the kinds of memories the narcissist will want you to avoid because of the way it made them look.
When they’re trying to paint a great picture of themselves to you, that look will be damaged the moment you discover what they’re truly capable of, and who they’ve hurt in the past.
So expect them to stay quiet, and twist stories to make them look the victim.
It’s how they keep you feeling sorry for them, and how they ensure you are always working overtime to not hurt them or trigger them.
#6 You only hear about their ‘terrible exes’
As you’ve already got a little idea about the narcissist’s secret past, I want to talk in a little more detail about their exes.
I cannot be clearer:
You will only hear about the exes of the narcissist if there are terrible stories that have been made up about them.
“They were dreadful.”
“I was cheated on so badly.”
“They abused me.”
“I lost my worth with them.”
“I promised to find somebody who was the opposite of them, and here you are.”
You’ll feel sorry for them, you’ll want to do everything you can not to hurt them, or cause them any pain.
You will then try your hardest to drop everything for them when they need you, abandoning yourself and whatever it is you need.
The last thing you will hear is:
Yeah, it was pretty amicable.
We just decided it was time to move on.
Never going to happen.
#7 They never have anywhere they call home
They moved from the city.
They moved to the city.
They moved states.
They moved counties.
Heck, they even moved countries.
Yet here they are, with you. And it somehow feels so special. But is there a part of you that should be worried they will get bored and want to move again?
Absolutely!
Narcissists tend to not be bothered about moving around a lot. They live where they feel they serve them.
If they get hurt, feel stagnated, or even lose their reputation in a certain place, their bags will be packed by the end of that day, and they will be out of there.
If they can’t call anywhere home, how can they want to settle down with you for the rest of their lives?
Or let me guess, is that what they told you sets you apart from the rest of their life?
Either way – I would tread very carefully.
#8 Their friends are only ever either passing fads or acquaintances
Friends come and go, just like the narcissist’s good moods.
What you’ll find is a person who is too worried about wanting to be vulnerable or open up to potential friends, so they keep them at an arm’s length instead.
For them, it is easier to just dip in and out of friends rather than lean in and have them share life with.
This can be due to wanting to keep an image up of being untouchable, but it’s also a lot to do with the drama that comes with knowing a narcissist.
If you step out of line even once with one, they will never treat you the same again. That’s why friends come and go in their droves.
