Before you say anything, I know…
Shocker.
Narcissists lie.
In fact, they lie about anything and everything you can possibly imagine. They’re not only top tier liars – they will do so without conscience and morals.
And I know all you want is for them to just get caught.
If they did, everybody would see them for who they are – job done!
I want you to see past the person they present you with – because that in itself is also a big, fat lie.
Let’s look at the top 9 biggest lies about narcissists, and how you can escape every single one simply by knowing them.
Don’t Fall For The “Honesty”
As much as they want you to, and boy do they really want you to – don’t buy it.
If you have gone through the motions with one narcissist, it’s safe to say you can assume the same for all others out there.
They all lie. And none of them care about it.
Falling for their fake honesty will give you a false sense of security, and it will also leave you severely disappointed when they inevitably let you down.
The interest to be kind and follow through with their words is never the narcissist’s intention – but it’s always where they place your heart – so you always stay, and never leave.
Expose Time! 9 Biggest Lies About Narcissists
#1 That You Can Count on Them
If you think you can count on a narcissist, you need to think again.
The only time you can really count on them is to let you down, because that’s all they will ever show you they can do.
Narcissists fool you in that respect. When you meet them, they promise to deliver in every way.
They will make you happy.
They will ensure you have what you need.
They will listen to you, and never lie.
They won’t change you.
That they will always be there.
What happens when you discover none of that is true? It means you’ve peeled back the layers of fakery to reveal the real person behind it all:
The narcissist.
#2 That They Love You
Love is never going to be what the narcissist shows you. They can throw whatever fancy object or promise your way, for sure. Does that mean they love you?
No.
It means they know how to pacify you.
Love is not something they know how to feel, but they do love to speak of it.
Saying the words aren’t the problem – but that’s where the lie starts.
If it isn’t the truth – then it’s a huge lie exposed.
#3 That They Even Care
Narcissists will always want you to think they care.
I’m just coming from a place of concern.
You need me.
Let me help you.
And why wouldn’t you believe it when somebody says these words? They sound so sincere and will make you want to open up and be the person who trusts and says yes.
But is that really where the truth is?
In truth – no. They don’t even care. The only thing they care about is getting what they want from you, even if it means you get hurt.
Your trauma is not their problem.
#4 That Your Secrets Are Being Kept
Trust me, I won’t tell a soul.
Your secret is safe with me.
Your secret is never safe with a narcissist. Whatever it might be is obviously something you want to be kept quiet.
Perhaps it’s important news or a part of your past that you want to keep under wraps.
It doesn’t really matter what the secret is – the part that should bring your attention up is that they promised to not tell – and they did.
Narcissists will spread your secrets for the simple reason:
Their need to gossip about you is more important than the promise they made to keep it to themselves.
#5 They Won’t Use Your Past Against You
While the narcissist may not have been present in your past, they are certainly making sure it stays alive.
#6 They Want You To Have Friends and Family Around You
You’ll notice how much they want to support and be there for you, and in wanting that, they will want your closest, nearest, and dearest to be a part of your life.
It may even be that during those first weeks and months of knowing the narcissist, they will encourage you to spend as much time with your loved ones as you can.
When you do, it will one day become a problem. When it becomes a problem, you will hear phrases such as:
“You’re too good for them.”
“You give them so much of your time, and they give you so little in return.”
“Why do you bother?”
“You never seem to make time for me anymore. I miss you.”
It’s all how they begin to isolate you, so you only rely on them.
#7 You Are Free
If only!
Nobody is free all the while. They are signed up in some way to a narcissist, and it’s only when you leave that you realize how trapped you were.
They want you to believe you are, and they can do that by giving you access to a little money, or letting you go out on a night out.
But you are mistaken if you think you’re free. It’s all a guise.
#8 Your Reality Matters
It only matters at the start! Soon enough, that reality is going to be:
Taken.
Shaken.
Replaced.
Replaced by theirs.
With absolutely no conscience from them. They will gaslight and convince you of an alternate pattern of thought just by throwing in phrases like:
It didn’t happen that way.
You must be confused.
I think you’re imagining things.
You seem to have lost your memory.
Are you sure you don’t need to go to the doctor?
Your reality is only held up when you first meet them. Once they get their foot in the door, it’s game over.
#9 It’s All In Your Head
If you think you are piecing the puzzle together and understanding narcissism – the narcissist is going to do everything in their power to take that from you.
Mark my words: it won’t be pretty when they prove what a liar they are.
You will think, “I thought I had met somebody who was the best person in the world.” Soon enough, you will see the truth but feel stuck in that reality.
It’s not all in your head. You aren’t imagining anything.
Narcissism is very real, and it’s very damaging.
Please never assume it’s not real.
How To Outsmart The Narcissist?
Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.
Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?
Wrong!
You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!
Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.
So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?
Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask
Narcissists!
You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!
Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!
You know it well, I’m certain!
Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be.
They’re also incredibly convincing at it.
But don’t be fooled.
Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.
They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at.
Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you.
Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen.
This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them.
Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.
They Think They’re So Clever!
Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally.
They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.
They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you?
It is to so many people, sadly.
The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword.
Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all.
Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!
What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others.
Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.
Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.
You? Really? …
Yes! Really!
You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?
Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.
If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind.
You’re so not alone.
Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively.
The key?
Outsmart them!
Let’s get to the good bit…
How to Outsmart a Narcissist
#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!
Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!
The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.
Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back.
Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.
Composure is key, just like consistency.
#2 “Gray Rock”
The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist.
The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.
You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.
Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.
Bingo!
When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.
Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.
You’ve become so boring!
No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…
#3 Deflection – Master It!
Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.
One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.
Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.
I’ll give you an example.
They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?)
Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?”
It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks.
#4 Information is Preparation!
Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else.
You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up.
Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points.
This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.
This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?
#5 Gather Your Support System
It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.
You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.
Encouragement is also heavily advised here!
Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to.
Let’s start unlock that potential!
