Does The Narcissist Really “Loves” The Other Women?

Q: Hello: I had been in a relationship with a N for twenty-seven years. He has dumped me again for the ow(other woman)… You can not believe what i have been through and how it has left me feeling about myself. And this ow is a total train wreck with issues that you can not believe. Please can you expand on the ow and do they really end up staying with the ow and treating her good? Do they have a normal type of life with this ow? I can not see him being normal with any woman. Please can you reply. Thank you so much, M

A: M, you are correct when you say they cannot be “normal” with another woman if he is a narcissist.

Just as you were fooled for a while initially, the other woman is being fooled.

In the end, she will get the same treatment as you did. Unfortunately, based on the emails I have received and all the literature that is out there–

I do believe you have been through hell and how horrible it has made you feel about yourself.

Classic narcissists don’t generally last in long-term relationships; you must have put up with a lot to have stayed with him for 27 years.

If he is a narcissist, then he will not stay with the other woman (that is, he will cheat on her as well) and will treat her poorly in the future as he did you.

NPD is a personality disorder- those characteristics define who he is–it does not depend on who his partner is.

27 thoughts on “Does The Narcissist Really “Loves” The Other Women?”

  1. Speaking as a former ow, I can assure you, she is being snowed as u were and he won’t stay with her. He may come back to u but don’t expect his treatment of u to change. He may move to another ow…at any rate, I feel for u. Remember, every lie he tells the ow, he practiced on u first. And she will be crushed when it all falls apart…as it will.

  2. Wow, 27 years!! You have to be an exceptionally strong, loving woman. I spent 2 1/2 with a narcissistic man and the breakup left me paralyzed with pain.
    A fact he will never know either as the day I told him “adios” and left was the day I decided on regaining my power. The only way this is possible is by stringently following the no contact rule! No deviations here either. It is your ticket back to seeing clearly n reality.
    Please, please, please second guessing yourself n your worth which you are if your concerns are about the OW, not YOU.
    Grieve your loss, as it is a loss n void in your life. Accept this and accept it isn’t easy only mentally let him be dead in your head, eventually letting him die in your heart. Let life be about you.
    It will not be easy, I know this from experience only I promise it is easier than the lies, deceit and emotional abuse I experienced living with him 9 months of what was to have been an exclusive, monogamous 2 1/2 year relationship where we lived 3 hours from each other. Seeing each other often, talking n texting everyday could never have prepared me for the real man beneath the mask.
    Once realized, I didn’t understand nor could I stay .Accept the failure of your relationship was
    not at your hand. His lies, his deceit, as a narcissist, just as with a rattlesnake, an emotional vampire, it is his nature. concentrate on this. Concentrate on healing. Continue to read n stay connected to this site. All of us understand, all of care for your well-being. All of us know the pain, the self guessing, the embarrassment n the emotional torturous he’ll you have lived n still living. Learn meditation, learn to love yourself. Be patient n let yourself heal. You will.
    Love and blessings to you.

  3. Thank you Alexander for establishing this site. It has truly pulled me from an abyss allowing me to see a light at the end of a tunnel which will set me free. Whereas, before, when I was with him the light at the end of the tunnel was that’s of a freight train headed dirctly at me.
    Your stressing the importance of the no contact rule prevented me from falling right down the rabbit hole again.
    Love? “What’s love got to do with it?” I love him only two must be invested in each other. Narcisists love themselves n will always be their greatest n most important love. They are loyal only to themselves.
    I am grateful to you n the many caring people that share enabling all of us to recover n heal. Thank you.

  4. Please let me assure you that he does NOT feel any differently about the OW.

    I was jealous of her too, until he said something unforgettable (and unforgivable) that put his relationships with both me and the OW into context. At the time he and I got together over 30 years ago, I’d recently suffered the loss of a child and didn’t have a family for support, he latched onto me like a parasite and sucked me dry over the next decades.

    About the OW, he said to me: I want something bad to happen to (OW) like it did to you — so that I can have a new life.

    His filter was Off at the moment he said this but it was a glimpse into his inner world that I’ll never forget. NO the OW is not loved, admired, respected or the target of his affections. She is his next victim. Period. It’s not that he didn’t give it to YOU, he doesn’t have it to give.

    So send her flowers with his name on it, thank your lucky stars she has come along to provide him some supply, however temporary! then RUN LIKE THE WIND to the nearest counselor to help you detox from this horrid experience. The longer you are away, the clearer you will see him, and the hurt and attachment will fade — I promise. Don’t delude yourself in the meantime, that after all these years he has become Someone Else for her. After all these years, you and I are both old enough to know that it not really possible, right? Right.

    btw, I don’t participate on threads like this, I just happened by and wanted to answer your question — from the heart. xox

    • All of your postings are so well said and very helpful to me. Thank you so much for your intelligent and insightful contributions.

  5. I’d like to add briefly to my post above, please:

    I left my ex over the OW and got a divorce, it’s been nearly five years since the whole matter first came up (since he was busted, in other words).

    He did not stay with the OW. He lies all the time so I will never know what really happened between them (they were Just Friends, you know the story), but they are not together and eventually he started to disparage her in conversations with me.

    Thanks for listening and allowing me to add my voice, as I would not want you or anyone else to endure what I have these past several years. How I wish someone could benefit from part of my experience, and be spared part of my confusion and sorrow! So to the OP’s single inquiry, I can certainly provide an answer: He does not love the OW and your 27 years w/him are likely to be compressed into 27 weeks instead. Use this time wisely, and escape while you can! since whatever sanity is mine is relative to having left as soon as his True Self manifested in all its narcissistic glory, omg.

  6. As a fully diagnosed narc who is in recovery and repair I can truly say he is with her because she needs help. It makes him feel superior and fills that void we have and insecurity. Will he treat her any better than you, eventually no.

    He will resort back to the same methods and ways he had with you and in all likelihood eventually cheat on her as well and find someone else.

    It fills the need and void. Like crack we can get enough of building ourselves up and the need of feeling superior. “Helping” those less fortunate and blessing them with our presence.

    27 years is a LONG time, you’re an angel. My wife and I are together 25+ years now and I am JUST starting to fix myself. Everyday is a struggle and sucks but if I dont do it I am destined to be miserable and repeat the same with another.

    – Joe

    • Thanks Joe for your response! It means a lot to hear this from a recovering narcissist. Three months ago my narc began accusing me of all kinds of horrible things and I was with him for 9 years of which I now realize most of those years consisted of him cheating and lying to me. Because I worked so often and all types of hours I believe he used my time away to cheat and I was clueless because he always made me feel like I was the only woman. But 3 months ago he started lying to himself and me about the relationship by accusing me of things that never happened while we were together. I now know this was the process of D&D. He has since moved on accusing me of scratching his car. He yelled and cussed me out publicly and dismissed me as if I never meant anything to him. I now realize that I didn’t. I haven’t heard from him since and I have not contacted him in any way shape or form. Yet I have ran into him in neutral places twice (the local food store that he and I use to shop at) I know there’s someone else yet he told me that there was no one and he was just tired of my behavior which is like the pot calling the kettle black considering his constant mood swings, verbal attacks, lies, and silent treatment, etc. He has always been a cold uncaring man which surprises me of why he didn’t take advantage in telling me about the other woman when he know that that would be the ultimate crush to heart??? Can you enlighten me on why would a man who would normally rush to tell me something that’s heart breaking would keep his new woman a secret from me?? Just curious to know from your perspective. I am now picking up the pieces to my life and learning how to live for me. Again thanks for your comment! Oh and btw he has a history of targeting vulnerable women who he perceives as less fortunate than he because when he met me I was walking away from an 18 year marriage and didn’t know whether I was coming or going but while I was with him I slowly put the pieces of my life back together by acquiring my masters in education, leaving my 21 year job at the post office to become a long shoremen which in my opinion made him despise me even the more. I could never make a man like this happy because he seems to only want a woman who will always stay beneath him mentally, financially, emotionally, and spiritually and that’s just not in my DNA. Still recovering so I can’t help but to still have questions about this whole ordeal!

  7. Dear all..reading every post in this site really revived me from my helplessness in live. I have been married for 24 years with a man that is just too difficult for me to describe. We have an 18 and 5 old daughters and 12 years old son. I cant diagnose my husband as NPD but from the character and the way he has been clearly indicate that he is having this personality disorder. I have tolerated his worse abuse till it almost took me to divorce him. I stayed because of many reasons and most importantly because i love him. But i really didnt know about the translation and elaboration of his behaviour till i read this site and the many other posts on NPD. Thank you for all the sharing which enlightens me further on my current situation. My main concern is how to explain this to my kids and make them understand if their father’s imbalances in his way being with us.

  8. Wow, Joe. I wish you could influence my stbx. He abandoned me (13 yrs. married) and our 3 children to move out and live with a stripper he “rescued” from her pimp and couldn’t leave her because he was “helping” her. I knew he wasn’t loving her or treating her better, but it’s the abandonment that’s the most traumatic. How do they not understand how their actions make others feel? Begged him to go to counseling and work at making changes after they “broke up”. He wanted to come home and “heal” from his broken heart and I knew something had to change first. That didn’t last because he realized I was even less supply than I was before he cheated on me. What made you decide to change and see that you needed it?

  9. I think what we all have to realize is that our love is different from their version of love. They actually don’t love. And in addition, they are not going to change. Joe is an anomaly. So if this man has left you–realize is it a gain, not a loss. Because now you are on a track to become healthy and happy. This has just happened to me. I finally broke up with a NPD after 2 nightmarish years. I gained a ton of weight and I lost myself. I was crying all the time, which affected my little child. Do I miss the rare “magical” times? Yes. But they were infinitesimal compared to the majority of misery. None of us deserve that. None of us. Keep reading these blogs and when you see yourself in other people, know you aren’t alone and that you can do it just as others have.

  10. Hi Guys
    Been through it all for 32 years. After grand children and the works it flared up and I kicked him out after much prayer and asking God to open my eyes as something was horribly wrong. I was amazed at the strengt I had at the time as I was in love with this person. He had so many ow after that its countless. He used them for financial gain using his charm it works all the time until they find him out for who he really is. Well the next one is already in the making. The sad part is they never believe the wife or his kids and think they will be able to change him. Well all I can say is sorry for you to the ow lessons are repeated until they are learned.

  11. Just found this site. I have been in an on and off relationship with a N. You description of BPD fits him 2 a T. I have recently been in contact with him and he now texts me nice texts and then mean and hurtful texts. He just txt me that he has moved on with a new lady after sending me a pic of an old valentines card I sent him. I do feel jealous (I kno it’s pathetic) but told him “goog 4 u” & encouraged him to “toss pics & stuff from me & the past” so he wud b true 2 his lady. I didnt want him 2 kno I was jealous…sadly. Your comments are helping me sort this bad 7 year on/off relationship.

  12. I as in a relationship with a narc. He was with someone else secretly then let the cat out of the bag after 7 months into our relationship. It was a hoot once I found out about her and how he had mental issues. His drug use makes it worse and he is “helping” her. She is manipulative, lies, and does drugs too so I am sure she offers him drugs. For me..he used me, lied, cheated, stole, didn’t love me at all. I realize that now. its been 2 weeks since he left me the last time and I really don’t care. I don’t miss him nor do I want to ever see him or talk to him again. I realize now that he is pathetic and I would never put myself through that again. I am glad I came to that conclusion. If anyone ever needs anything let me know. I am here to talk.

    • Hi Jennifer:
      he came back this time after awhile (attempts to come back every year with the promise he will stay and marry me. well, same old game. the ow is still in the picture. he doesn’t want to hurt her she is just totally in love with him.. he is trying to dissolve it. i keep asking do you love her. he says not like you. what does that really mean!
      do you really believe they don’t love the ow? will he stay with her? i think he will, i think this is the one. this woman is a total disaster a really needy down and out kind of person. what are your thoughts?
      i have been with him for over twenty-years. its just so hard to get over the painful experience. i’ve never experienced anything in my life like it. i do believe they don’t know the meaning of love. Thank you Mimi

  13. Mine cheated for 6 of nine years, I constantly questioned him about it…. but he would then turn real mean on me. She was my neighbor, how convenient. They played with light games, lawn chair games and cell phone games. I am gamed out.

    I have given him till the end of the lease to prepare to be on his own, because I have supported him in the most part. He was slick in the beginning.

    Please don’t let me fall for love….. make me hold my decision. It is hard, and it should not be.

  14. Was with an N for 24 years. Mask started slipping early on but didn’t know what it was. Was verbally abusive, hated my daughter and would rather satisfy himself sexually ALONE.
    He left me after 22 yrs of marriage. He owned nothing with I met him. I paid of $40,000 worth of debt with equity of a house I owned. (Never got that back). He announced in May of 2014 he wanted a divorce. Didn’t move out of house but immediately started dating. I was devastated. He also brought one of his girlfriends to the house (to brag) when I was gone.
    Treated two other wives the same way. I still cry but I am glad I sold the house and moved away. He immediately moved in with ow when house sold (he had only known her 3 months) They are still together after 8 months but he is on dating site. Hmmm
    Glad he is not mine anymore (never really was). BUT I still hurt sometimes.

    • Narcs are USERS who have Zero Self-Esteem and are literally Empty Souls. They use you for Supply… money, sex, a place to live, your compliments and admiration, putting their pompous as**s on a pedastal, sucking every last breath of the life you had before you met them out of you. They especially love being with someone who doesn’t have a backbone and doesn’t enforce any boundries. A Doormat.
      Will he still faithful to this Money-Bag Female OW Narc? NO! They are both NARCS!! LOL! This is Karma at its finest! Be happy he left and let the games begin!
      Will he STAY with this Money-Bag Female Narc?? He will try his hardest because of the MONEY, however if she is a true Narcissist, Sociopath, or Psychopath, she may up his little games and put him down more, cheat on him more, devalue and discard him first. Girls that have these Personality Disorders and I think they’re Mental Illnesses too (I have had many in my life) … they can be just as brutal as men. It’s a toss-up and the ball is not in either one of these abusers courts.
      I realize I’m answering this a long time after, and hopefully you are over this situation and have moved on. If anyone else reads and is having issues with these “things”, go on YOUTUBE and search MalignantNarcissists, Narcissists, CovertNarcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths. Write the author of this Article, he is very knowledgeable and it is great that he wrote this – thank you!!

  15. I was with my N for 40 years 2 children and 5 grandchildren. Had an affair 20 years ago said it was my fault thought there was more just couldn’t prove them. 4 years ago he moved to town in an apartment needed space and time to think again told kids and everyone who would listen it was my fault. Thought he was seeing other people but wasn’t sure constantly blaming me for making him look bad. Said he was working on our marriage tho believed him then last May 19 2015 his best friend died and in June 1 2015 he started seeing the widower. She old me he asked her out she said yes he said for coffee since he missed the funeral dinner. I believed him. Then he borrowed money from me and would end up taking her out he said no problem I always pay you back what’s the big deal. I continued to try to work on the marriage bought self help books as he said he didn’t want counseling which he said later he would work on with her not me and then in Sept he Thur me and the two grandkids out of his house we continued to be husband and wife until Dec 2015 when he just stop coming around. But not before having me clean his house twice where him and her made a big mess. Then he call here and there come early in the morning telling me how beautiful I was since I lost weight and let my hair grow some. I couldn’t take it anymore after reading about a NAC so I called the ow and told her what was going on. You guessed it she told him I have a voice mail left by the two if them him saying I’m a lied jealous and want him back and her saying I said I was sleeping with him all lies and cussing me out. I’ve been in counseling for this just hated to see someone else go Thur the hell I did at one point he wanted me to kill myself and I almost did its took 3 counselor 2 preacher and 5 trips to crisis to get this far. I loved that man unconditionally and believed whatever he said. She/he wants nothing from our 40 years together no pictures if his family (mom whose died, sister etc) or discharge papers tools anything he wanted a divorce in Nov I borrowed the money wanted it over with gave it to his lawyer for a dissolution but he won’t call the lawyer to start it calls it having his cake and eat it too. Now just yesterday he has moved in with the widower. Made sure that I knew about it. I’m so done just want the divorce and move on. Figured out a lot of things they say in the discard phase that I thought was just to hurt me were hurtful yes but they were O so true. He just didn’t care anymore I was the outsider and he had this lonely widower that Hus friend didn’t want alone. She has two daughters one loves him other can’t stand him. Just wait I already seen him date her like he did me, spend time like he did me charming family and now moving in it’s just a matter of time. I ask her once “your husband died you can have any man you want ” her responds was “I have a man do you? I will do anything absolute absolutely anything to keep him he will never look at you again”. Guess that’s why she has to be with him everywhere he goes now. Can’t be out of her site. Sad sad can’t believe such evil existed out there. Praying for all whose gone Thur this and them yet to feel the pain of HELL.

  16. I am reading everything and my eyes are so wide open now…I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years when I was left devastated. 4 weeks ago he left me for his ex, his cheating had been going on for months and all the while we were planning our wedding and the birth of our first baby together…I am 5 months pregnant. That day hit like a tonne of bricks – he swore black and blue even looking into my eyes that ‘he could never do that to me’ I was the ‘love of his life’ ‘special’ “no one else could ever compare to me” etc and all the shit they feed you..His ex rang 5 minutes later and happily told me “he will never get over her” “she means to much to him” he then told me I was nothing but a rebound and to get the F@#K out of his life – he was sick of me and all my shit. I got the silent treatment…
    I should have seen it earlier and hind site all the signs were there – honeymoon phase that was to good to be true, I was swept off my feet – he told me he loved me 1month into seeing him – I did not return the sentiment..I know now that it was just a game for him to win me over…then came the put downs, the criticizing, the accusations of cheating and using him for his assets (he owned the house) and the punishments when I did anything that upset him – it could be as simple as not answering the phone before 3 rings – which would entitle him to ignore me completely for a week or longer…I worked full time and lost my job because his ex was the sister of my boss…long story short I ended up depending on him for financial support – it was only for a month but it really cemented his hold on me. The stress of him having to look after me, and use his own money sent him over the top and he assaulted me. I was so hurt but believed him when he said he was sorry and did the programs to change and that he was doing this all for me because of how much I meant to him…(now I know was a crock of shit)
    I have since found out that he was NEVER faithful to me and every time I got the “silent treatment” he was with someone else…he worked away a lot and he liked prostitutes…ALOT! He used to brag about his sexual past and all the women he has conquered but I was the whore of Babylon for having only 1 ex boyfriend. He said because I was beautiful it wasn’t me that couldn’t be trusted it was everyone else – so it was my fault men liked me – I must have been giving off something because I loved attention apparently…everything with him was my fault.
    The rest of my story is so similar to everyone else’s its like I am reading a page out of my own life!
    Needless to say he started to ring me and text me a week after he ended it – I was so crushed and needed to know why, and wanted answers I foolishly gave in to anything he wanted. Then he showed his ex one of my txts and said I was stalking him so she rang me to clear things up. Turns out she is well aware of his behaviour and all the lies he tells but she is happy knowing she is the one he always comes back to – it made me feel sad for her that she has put up with this for 15 years and will continue to do so for the rest of her life. I asked her if she knew her own worth and she said “its me he will always want”…so sad.
    I haven’t had contact with him since but I know it is coming. I am the only one he ever took home to his family and the only one that had contact with his children and I still do. There is a 21st this weekend that I am sure he will try to contact me after…I hope I have the strength to keep up the no contact. I am moving into my own house so am hoping the distraction will keep my mind off him. I cant believe I miss him and still love him even though he is a lying cheating abusive sack of shit that doesn’t deserve me… I will get over it though, unlike his ex I know my own worth…

    • Em,

      That is exactly what happened to me. I have a son with him and he’s been with this girl for 3 years and always comes back to me, tells me he owes me the world and loves me; but he could never leave her. He tells me if he did she would try to kill her self. Many times he chooses her over me and she knows about all of his lies but feels special because at the end he chooses her. She says that he tells her I’m easy and that no matter what he does I’ll be here waiting because I have his son. She feels like the winner but he had cheAted on her for the 3 years that their relationship has been with me. He tells me he loves me but wants to marry me when he is done messing around and doesn’t want to be with her anymore. He tells her the same things he tells me. My ego wants him to come back but I know he is no good for me and she will forever be miserable to feel as if she won, she won a sociopathic liar who cares about no one but himself.

      • T,

        Your story is exactly my story. He came back after he broke up with his girlfriend making s bunch of promises like he did but this time it was “different” because he was no longer with her. A month later he became distant, I got anxious, he called me crazy and told me to let him be free. He is now giving his 5 year old son and me the silent treatment.

  17. Wasted time on such heartless creatures. I guess I can say I’m blessed to only have had to put up with it for 16 months.
    I had a bad gut feeling about this man. Too good to be true. The too smooth… to be true NARCISSIST. I began seeing red flags early on . You guessed it…Cheating..the main issue with these low life’s.

    Oh yes ladies how they love to flirt with other women. No not just one, as many as they can get their claws on or find the time for. They feed off of this attention. It is like a drug to them. He was very secretive with his phone. He wouldnt reveal details on two separate trips he made.Too private Because of many red flags, I found myself playing detective . Found clues along the way. Even when I called him on it and knew the facts he still denied it. Lies lies and more lies.
    The strange thing about this is when I was suspicious about his cheating, I was not aware he was a narcissist until I researched serial cheaters. I researched the traits. ..silent treatment, love bombing, triangulation etc. This man was definitely a narcissist. It all made sense.
    These men are sick cold hearted fucks that will suck the life out of you. They believe they are superior . They have no remorse for what they do. They are soulless beasts. You dump their ass , they will try to keep a hold on you for a while…with the i still love you , miss you you are the only one I really love bullshit. Trying to love bomb you bring you in…just so they can gain enough control to make your life a living hell.
    Guaranteed they are seeking more supply else where. Sucking these poor women into their evil web. Oh yes pretending to be that prince charming making them feel like they are different than any other woman they met blah blah blah bullshit.
    Lies lies and lies. They do not care who they hurt. They do not care for anyone. They are selfish , cold and deceitful. Run and don’t ever look back because if you do….yes you guessed it they literally will be fucking someone else. Do not be fooled by the NARCISSIST. They are the worst man you will tangle with!!

  18. These men are heartless, selfish, me only oriented liers. They play you up by there charm, love bombing words, texts, the “where have you been all my life”, the “your the one”. They are sick f—s and nothing more.

    I was in a on again off again relationship for 10 years (yes 10 years wasted with one of these mother ——-.) and was discarded like some piece of trash for his FORMER ex-wife.

    I was the ow, he told me there was nothing left of his marriage as soon as his 17 year old turned 18 he was getting a divorce so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. I believed all of it, hook line and sinker as see that’s what these NARCS do, use your goodness as a person to suck up what they need. They are emotional vampires – sucking everything you got to give to just dump you and do it to someone else.

    After 10 years he dumped me via a text saying “we’re done” after I caught him in one of his tangled lies and confronted him (he lied told me he was having thanksgiving at his parents and I tracked him down and he was having thanksgiving with his EX-WIFE and there kids and lied to her saying he wasn’t seeing me) he was with her all thanksgiving and shows up at my doorstep at 4:30am the next day. These guys have NO CONSCIOUS.

    The back story is he left his wife for me for 10 years and then he turned around went back to her (which only lasted 4 mos – ha ha joke – no surprise there) and then he immediately found another victim and he will do exact same thing to her as he did to his wife, turned ex-wife, and me. He even tried texting me about how he misses “us” after the 4 month stint with his ex-wife trying to get back with me – blah blah blah.

    Looking back over those 10 years with him, he would not respond to texts, ghost me for a week or two and come back like nothing happened, then when confronted he would psychologically turn something around on me to distract/deflect from what he did to get out of the confrontation on HIS behavior – talk about gas lighting someone.

    He had my head spinning, and now I know NOW all those disappearing acts and sudden breakups out of the blue were the result of him going back and forth between his ex-wife and me (how sick it that – manipulating and playing both of us). Like others he would charm his way to me NEVER KNOWING HE WAS WITH HER AGAIN and he would make me feel like I was the only one on the planet – “I just can’t live without you I guess”…. looking back now I feel like a complete idiot – he played me like a fiddle.

    Today, I am working on my anger of what he did and it’s been 2 full years since I was dumped like trash. During that aftermath of the discard, I was totally paralyzed for 6 mos and couldn’t eat, could barely get out of bed until 3:00 in afternoon, I would stand in the kitchen and just cry out of the blue, and was like a zombie on the sofa for those dark dark horrific days of asking…how could he do this, who does this in such a horrific way, is he/was he even human….

    However, even with that shear hell of those horrific 6 mos that I went through in starting my recovery of him – I can look back now and say to myself that in a weird way, I’m glad he did what he did on Thanksgiving and that I found out about it, as it got me out of a hell that I didn’t even know I was in.

    I still struggle daily with missing him and our times together as most was good (again I never knew for 10 years that he was going back and forth between his ex and me) but I know I’m soooo much stronger now as I NEVER EVER want to see, speak, or hear from him again. I want nothing to do with him and will always be no contact with him for my own self-preservation.

    I continue to work on myself as to why I got caught up in this, I try to forgive and be gentle with myself, read everything I can on NARCS to help keep me away from him and others like him, and I read these posts when I have thoughts of missing him to continue to move on and be reminded of how demon like these people are.

    I wanted to share my story in hopes of someone finding the strength, courage, tenacity, and hope as well to stay away from these parasites and to continue there recovery as well.

    Believe in yourself and that you are worthy of such a better life and a partner that is CAPABLE of reciprocating a balanced relationship and love not EGO driven and ME oriented.

  19. Well ok. My husband called me what was it like 3 weeks ago saying that he has been thinkn about me and having dreams about me. Then while we was on the phone I let it out that I had been talkn to other guys and what not. Well he flipped the heck out and went to the hospital that night and found out he had a small heart attack. He called his sister the next morning crying sayn my wife’s not going to want me back and wanted to kill himself. He text me all day that day also. That day I went out to the house and we talked and he said that he missed me loves me and wants me back. So after a lil while me and my daughter moved back in with him. Well yesterday 3 weeks after getting back together he came home and told me that he just found out bc that girl told him she might be pregnant. And then today he told me that he doesnt want to be with me and he wants to be with her. He is telling everyone he loves her and he wants a divorce from me. And btw the other girl isnt pregnant.


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