Q: Hello: I had been in a relationship with a N for twenty-seven years. He has dumped me again for the ow(other woman)… You can not believe what i have been through and how it has left me feeling about myself. And this ow is a total train wreck with issues that you can not believe. Please can you expand on the ow and do they really end up staying with the ow and treating her good? Do they have a normal type of life with this ow? I can not see him being normal with any woman. Please can you reply. Thank you so much, M
A: M, you are correct when you say they cannot be “normal” with another woman if he is a narcissist. Just as you were fooled for a while in the beginning, so the other woman is being fooled. In the end, she will get the same treatment as you did. Unfortunately, based on the emails I have received and all the literature that is out there– I do believe you have been through hell and how horrible it has made you feel about yourself.
Classic narcissists don’t generally last in long term relationships; you must have put up with a lot to have stayed with him for 27 years. If he is a narcissist, then he will not stay with the other woman (that is, he will cheat on her as well) and will treat her poorly in the future as he did you.
NPD is a personality disorder- those characteristics define who he is–it does not depend on who his partner is.