Have you ever shown a narcissist a side of you that they fear?
I doubt it crosses the mind of the typical ‘on paper’ victim of narcissistic abuse, but I want to show you one thing you can do. One thing that will make them crumble.
For once, it won’t be you falling to the floor in pieces, not knowing what to do next. For once, it will be the very person who has caused you all that pain and suffering.
I say: no more.
You want to see them fall
I really do know the anger that runs through people’s veins when they realize they’ve spent so much time being used and abused by the person who promised to love and protect them.
You see the lies as the truth rings out; exposing who they were all along, and you want to be able to see them finally fall.
You need to know that they are going to understand what Karma looks and feels like, and the only way you feel that’s possible, is to make them crumble.
But you’re stuck. How do you even start? Where do you go? How can you guarantee that your next move is so detrimental to them that they fall apart?
There are a lot of things you can do, but the best one is right here.
Waiting for that perfect moment
When you want to make a narcissist crumble, don’t think about the guilt that may surface with this thought.
It’s easy to back away and say, “You know what? I’m not going to be unkind.” I don’t think this is about being unkind.
You can make them crumble while building your own life back up again, and you shouldn’t have to regret that, or shame yourself into submission once again.
The perfect moment arises at a time the narcissist feels they know you the best.
Need yourself instead of them
Narcissists study your patterns so they can gain control over you. This starts from the moment they meet you and will last your entire time together.
They watch you, and predictably know how you will react, what will trigger you, what will fill you up with joy, and what will send you into a panic.
They know how to make you laugh, and they also know how to make you cry.
For that reason, you have to ask yourself:
Isn’t it about time you needed yourself instead of needing them?
You were programmed to abandon yourself in order to put them first, to love them first, and to unconditionally accept and forgive them no matter how abusive they became toward you.
Now? Now it’s all about to change.
Do this
When you’ve had enough of the narcissist, the time must come for your predictability to disappear.
Becoming unpredictable may seem like a little bit of a strange idea to some, but it will be the start of a huge healing process for you. A time where you come home to yourself, and find your worth again.
When you start to give off vibes the narcissist doesn’t recognize, they become panicked.
They aren’t used to this, they don’t like to see you act in ways they don’t either know or understand.
What they want is a textbook game, but if you come along and change the rules without telling them, and you keep changing the rules, who becomes in control?
What does being unpredictable look like?
Simply put; you don’t do what you’ve always done around them.
Where there were tears before, you put on your favorite song and turn it up to sing along.
When they used to mock you for going to that fitness class and you’d end up staying home, get there early and reserve the best yoga mat.
When they’d tell you that you shouldn’t go for that job you like the sound of because you’re not mentally in the right place for it, apply anyway.
Don’t tell them you got the interview. You know they will try to talk you out of going. Get the interview, go to it, and if you get the job, accept it. This is your life. You have to live it for you, not with their permission.
Seek ways to defy them at all costs instead of agreeing with them, or feeling them chip away at you time and time again.
Does it take practice? Absolutely! This is not for the faint hearted, but trust me when I say this:
The more you practice it, the more addictive it becomes.
And this is the kind of addiction I can get on board with!
The crumbling will be instant
It can’t be anything other than instant, can it? Not when the narcissist has built their entire game with you based on how you behave and respond to them.
These patterns are so ingrained that they won’t even consider the fact that you might shift them in some way.
They may as well say, “What is happening? This isn’t how you usually react to me. Where are the tears? Where’s the begging? What have you done with the real you?”
I’d like to think that this is the part where you think, “This is the real me. I am finally showing up for myself.”
The patterns created by the narcissist do not have to be played out by you. This is nothing but an attempt to get you to lie to yourself and what you value.
Instead, start looking at the real meaning of value, and how it starts and ends within you.
Narcissists need supply
We all know this, and their supply can come from watching you do exactly what they’d planned.
Where you’d usually shout and beg, it’s time to walk away and not give them a single word from your mouth.
That right there is the exact meaning of starving a narcissist. Remember, your abuser is counting on you to be the one who gives them what they need, and when you don’t, they fall apart.
Your supply should be for you, and you alone. Your energy, your worth, your confidence; it’s all a part of you that converts to fuel for them…
…Until now.
Give them the unthinkable
And that’s what this all boils down to, isn’t it?
The unthinkable truth is that you are capable of changing the course of your destiny. That starts with changing your predictability.
Become unrecognizable, and the narcissist won’t know how to get to you any longer.
That’s the ultimate goal, I think. To show yourself that you are your own person, and that you don’t have to be the kind of person who another person can predict and then twist and use to their own advantage.
The alternative is much brighter. You can take the narcissist by surprise. You can cause implosions that do not bring you any negativity.
You can be the one who, when you’d normally say yes, say no, and own that.
If you want the narcissist to instantly crumble, you have to do something big.
And I think this is about as big as it can get, don’t you?
