Q & A: Do Narcissists Understand their Behavior?

Q: Do Narcissists understand their behavior?  

A: Yes and no. Yes, they can understand their behavior is manipulative or that a lie is a lie but no, they don’t “get” the impact it has on other people or why it is wrong. They understand only from their own perspective, only in how their behavior will result in a positive or negative outcome for them. And if it results in obtaining narcissistic supply (positive or negative attention), then the ends justify the means.

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3 thoughts on “Q & A: Do Narcissists Understand their Behavior?”

  1. I disagree here with Alex, I do understand my behavior and that is why I am seeking to change and “fix myself”. Once I realized and ACCEPTED who I was then I could see the negative impact I had on others.

    I do agree with being manipulative for self benefit and gain. That is who we are and what we do. It makes us the narcissist we have become. Our crack (narcissist supply) is the most important thing on our lives.

    Thanks Alex for this site and ability to speak openly.

    – Joe

    • My dad is a classic textbook narcissist. I think everything Alex said on this sight relates to him. Other then he does have some empathy for me at times. I want to say to Joe good on you for accepting that you have NPD and want to seek treatment. But in my dad’s case he thinks he does nothing wrong in his mind he is perfect. He defiantly does not understand his behaviour. he lies so much that I some times think he believes them to be true. Or it could be just another way of manipulating and controlling others and projecting to get what he wants.
      I must say I know my dad well and have researched and learned about NPD for a long time now and I know what it is and how these people behave. But it is very difficult to truly understand their mind set. It defies all logic. That a person thinks they will be admired and praised after all their put downs and insults to other people. To take no responsibility, to disregard other peoples needs and feelings. To think you are better then anyone. Example of my dad tonight. He has not been home for 3 days we don’t know where he was or what he did. He walks back in as if nothing happened. And if you question him he pretends he does not know what you are talking about or acts dumb or says what have I done?. To me I here it as ‘What do you mean what have I done? either you are insulting my intemperance by pretending or you are totally deluded to believe you did nothing wrong. This is just one of many, many things he does.

    • well then you agree with Alex, you understand your behavior, you don’t “GET” the impact it has on your victims. You must be trying to “fix” yourself to try and prove to your supply that you are willing to change but your comment proves, you cannot.


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