To you or I, a lie is costly to the conscience and to the relationships around us.
We appreciate honesty, and we offer it to those we love.
Narcissists aren’t wired this way. Seriously. I want to say they are, but honesty doesn’t compute in their toxic minds.
So – when you think, “Will they ever stop lying?”, you can be sure that question will only lead you to more questions.
Lying comes completely naturally to any narcissist, and I know you wish they will stop or reflect.
So they…?
Narcissist? No! They’re Super Nice!
…Well… If I meant that then both you and I would have a serious problem.
Nope. I don’t think that, but I know the narcissist thinks that about themselves.
They’re lovely people! Fine, upstanding citizens! Best behavior. Always helpful and great listeners.
Who are they kidding? The only things they listen to, are the sound of their own voices, and anything you say that can be relayed as gossip. They’re all ears, and they’re all in.
What they think, and what we see, are two totally different things. As they portray their perfect person image, we see the real person behind the pretense.
Dishonesty: a Shock
When you think you’ve got to know a certain version of somebody, it can be a surprise to figure out that a big part of them is a serial liar. Some of you may have already found out the hard way, and that’s something you will have to live with.
But it doesn’t have to define you.
Your judgment of character is no better or worse for putting a narcissist in a certain frame for a while. Thinking they were a good person with a lot of love to give is just your way of giving a new person a chance to be in your life.
And yes, when they ultimately let you down )as all narcissists eventually do), you will wonder how you didn’t see it coming.
In truth, narcissists really are just that good at hiding the truth from you. They cover up their lies with a painted smile and false illusions. They will wave gifts in your face to distract you from what’s really going on, and a lot of the time, that charm is just too captivating.
The Lies They Keep on Rolling Out
Once you spot one lie, you will be open and exposed to seeing more. The patterns will emerge, and you will begin to understand exactly how they form.
That’s the thing with narcissists…
…They’re really unpredictable, until they’re not. Learning the ways they stir up problems and cause complete chaos by lying and cheating their way through life is something you can grow accustomed to.
In big ways.
Covered in Glitter…??
It’s how narcissists are often described. They are toxic people covered in glitter. Eventually, the elements of life will blow and wear all that glitter off, and you’ll start to see the inner layers.
The glitter is shiny and attractive, and mesmerizing for many initially.
But it never lasts.
Nothing fake ever can.
Will They Ever Stop Lying?
No.
Narcissists. Never. Stop. Lying.
Even when you think you’ve got through to them, they aren’t going to do you any favors by suddenly being honest. It’s not in their nature, and their fragile egos wouldn’t last more than five minutes.
You’re not the one who is going to ‘change them.’ I know you might want to, because you care about them.
When to Run
Ideally, you would run at the first red flag. I also know how difficult it is for a person to do that. At the first red flag, you’ve already experienced the love-bombing, the charm, and the captivating essence of who they pretend to be.
These snippets of information I put out there for people like you to read are sent out to educate. To enlighten. To teach you that narcissism is everywhere, and you have to avoid it if you want to maintain a healthy life.
Knowing when to run only comes after you’ve spent a great deal of time knowing what you’re actually running from. To know that, you have to know and be familiar with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
At the end of the day, nobody wants to be stuck with a liar forever. They cause nothing but problems, and they take no responsibility for all the problems they cause. It’s like they want to see everybody fall by encouraging them all to do so.
You can stick around for long if it gets like this. For your own benefit, you need to live a healthy life, surrounded by good people with good intentions.
Remember:
Narcissists lie to both themselves and to you. As long as the truth is being kept hidden, they will do what they can to keep it from being exposed.
They don’t admit to either, but I feel it’s really imperative to educate you in each of these, because then you will be able to spot it in your own lives.
Lying To You
- Narcissists lie to you when they tell you they love you. They don’t. They love you being around so they can use you. Love to them is nothing but a conditional act of attention, or the handing over of gifts or money. Love is never a feeling.
- Narcissists lie to you when they tell you they want to spend the rest of their lives with you. All those plans and future promises will amount to nothing. And you’re left hanging on waiting.
- They will lie about where they’ve been, who they were with, and what time they will be home. Sometimes they get home early just to check you are there and catch you off guard.
- Narcissists will lie about who they talk to on their phones. There are always flirtations going on, whether that’s through texts, social media, work or email. They can’t help themselves.
- They’re never there when you need them, despite promising to be. They’re always too busy, but expect you to drop everything for them.
Lying to Themselves
- Narcissists exude confidence, but it is a cover up for how they truly feel about themselves. They’re so insecure, and that comes from never really having good role models as kids, or parents who expected them to always be perfect.
- They pretend to love expressing themselves, but the emotions that are tricky for them are some of the most vulnerable. They hate to admit this, and pretend they’re able to be open and sensitive to your feelings.
- Narcissists act like they love themselves, when in reality, they can’t stand to see themselves in the mirror. Not i they really stopped to look.
