Do Emotionally Unavailable Man Miss You?

Last Updated on April 7, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Breaking up with an emotionally unavailable man can be the worst thing ever! When a guy appears detached and indifferent, you may wonder whether it’s just you, he is not connecting with.

But, of course, you are aware that he’s not the most expressive of people when it comes to his feelings, so you keep asking yourself, do emotionally unavailable man miss you?

But it has nothing to do with you; emotionally unavailable men don’t connect with anyone, not even themselves!

Nevertheless, whether he can tune into his emotions or not, he still experiences them. He’s not emotionally bankrupt. So whether you’re still together and taking a break from the relationship, or you’ve severed ties completely, he will miss you. 

If you want to know whether an emotionally unavailable man misses you, keep reading. 

9 Signs An Emotionally Unavailable Man is Missing You

9 Signs An Emotionally Unavailable Man is Missing You

Emotionally unavailable men don’t give much away, and you never know how they’re feeling. But actions speak louder than words, and just because he’s not telling you he misses you doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you. Here are nine signs an emotionally unavailable man misses you. 

#1 He Calls You Often

Men and women communicate differently. For example, a woman will call her boyfriend to hear his voice.

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She doesn’t have much to say and will engage in random small talk to keep him on the line. On the other hand, men are a bit more practical when it comes to their phone use; they rarely call just to have a chat.

Instead, they call if they want to tell you something specific or if they need advice. However, if he’s catching feelings, he might change his style of communicating with you and start calling you more often for random reasons. 

#2 He Feels Comfortable Talking to You

Emotionally unavailable men are notorious for their silence, but your guy feels comfortable talking to you about things he wouldn’t discuss with anyone else.

For example, he knows that he struggles with his emotions, and he wants to open up more so he asks for your help.

Basically, you make him want to become a better man, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. 

#3 He Drunk Calls You

Alcohol gives people more confidence than they normally have. Deep down, your dude has feelings for you, but he doesn’t know how to express them when he’s sober.

But after some Dutch courage, he feels braver than ten lions, and he hits the call button to tell you how awesome you are.

Of course, you don’t take him seriously because he’s drunk, but trust and do believe that he means every word!

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#4 He Likes Your Social Media Posts

Despite the fact that social media is virtual reality and it’s not an accurate reflection of real life, people take it very seriously.

You’ll find that tabloid newspapers get their stories from spying on celebrities’ social media accounts to see who they’re interacting with.

Long before a couple has announced their break up to the world, some gossip column is already speculating because the couple has stopped posting each other’s pictures and stopped liking each other’s posts.

Or, they know who is about to get into a relationship because they’ve started interacting on social media. Whether your guy friend buys into the social media hype or not, he knows how important some people find social media validation, and if you’re one of them, he’ll indirectly tell you he misses you by liking your posts.

He might even take it a step further and scroll through your page liking some of your old pictures just so you know he’s thinking about you. 

#5 He Invites You Out With His Friends

Boys will be boys, and they enjoy hanging out together and doing boys stuff. But when a man misses you, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible, which involves inviting you out with his friends.

Also, if he’s emotionally unavailable, he won’t feel comfortable talking about his feelings even though he wants to let you know that he’s really into you.

So one way of doing this is to invite you out with his friends, it’s his way of letting you know you’re exclusive. 

#6 He’s Always Talking About You

According to your mutual friends, he’s always bringing your name up in conversation. And half the time, it isn’t relevant to the discussion.

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When men do that, it’s because they really like the woman they’re dating and they think about her all the time. He likes you so much that he invokes your presence when you’re not around by talking about you.

#7 He Wants a Picture of You

In this day and age, it’s easy to get pictures of your crush because most people have online public profiles that everyone has access to.

So he could very well swipe one of your pictures from the internet. But instead, because he doesn’t want to appear like a creep, and because he wants you to know that he misses you when you’re not around, he’ll ask you for a photo. 

#8 He’s Your Number One Supporter

Maybe you sing in a band, or you play sports, anytime you’ve got something going on, he’s got front row tickets to the event.

Not only does he go because he wants to support what you’re doing, he misses you while you’re away so he may as well tag along. 

#9 He Gets Jealous 

Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.

So let’s say you’re going out with a group of single friends. He knows what your pals are like and how they can get a bit drunk and have fun.

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Your guy doesn’t like the idea of men ogling at you all night. But because he finds it so difficult to talk about his feelings, he internalizes them, manifesting as jealousy.

While you’re getting ready to go out, he might start acting a bit salty, or maybe he’ll pick an argument for the sake of it. He’s not trying to be mean to you. He just doesn’t know how to tell you how he really feels. 

Does No Contact Work on Emotionally Unavailable Man?

Does No Contact Work on Emotionally Unavailable Man?

Absolutely! I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ Well, that’s what happens to your emotionally unavailable guy when you stop contacting him.

When you’re gone, your absence will arouse his emotions, and he’ll start missing you. When you were together, he had access to you all the time. He could call you when he wanted, come and see you, and go on dates with you.

But now you’re gone, he has no access to you, and he wants to know what you’re up to. During this time, he will experience a range of emotions. He’ll be confused because you haven’t called, text, or started stalking him on social media.

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He’ll be afraid that you will meet someone else and decide to leave him for good. He’ll experience regret because he’ll be thinking to himself if he’d been more open with you, you’d still be together.

Your emotionally unavailable man won’t be able to sleep at night. He’ll be tossing and turning asking himself:

“Why doesn’t she care about me anymore?” 

“Why isn’t she answering my calls? Has she met someone else?”

“How long is she going to continue ignoring me?”

“I wish I’d treated her better, then she wouldn’t be shutting me out like this.” 

And on and on and on…so basically, if you’re considering going no contact to see if your time apart will knock some sense into your partner, go ahead! 

What Happens When You Ignore an Emotionally Unavailable Man?

What Happens When You Ignore an Emotionally Unavailable Man?

When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, it’s literally torture to him. Here are four things that happen when you ignore an emotionally unavailable man:

He Gets Worried

Since you’re used to giving him so much attention and pandering to his every demand, his first thought is, “what have I done wrong?”

Emotionally unavailable men don’t realize they’re hurting people because they don’t pick up on emotions.

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So as far as he’s concerned, he’s done nothing wrong. But now, you’re making him think whether his actions have caused you to shut down. 

He’ll Find You More Attractive

It’s human nature to want what we can’t have. He was all over you when he first met you because you were not his.

But once you became an item and got comfortable, the cat and mouse games died down. Unfortunately, now that you’ve gone missing in action, those same feelings have returned, and he’s going crazy over you again. 

He Will Assume You Met Someone Else

If you’re not spending time with him, his thought process will be, who are you spending your time with?

You used to see each other and speak to each other every day, but suddenly you’re ignoring him. He’ll start to wonder whether you’ve been cheating on him all along. 

He’ll Become Obsessive

Emotionally unavailable men might not be able to tell you how they’re feeling, but they sure do know how to act on them!

His sleepless nights are driving him insane, and he wants answers. So he might start acting a bit crazy for a while because he desperately wants to speak to you and find out why you’re ignoring him.

He will do things like call you over and over again, send you a string of text messages, hijack your DMs, or write you back-to-back emails. He’ll be looking for an answer, and he won’t give up until he gets one.

He’ll Get Offended

Because emotionally unavailable men don’t have any self-awareness, his first reaction might be to get angry with you.

He won’t be able to see things from your perspective, and he’ll label you as the bad guy. In his mind, he’s thinking, “how dare she abandon me?”

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You will become the villain, and he’s the innocent bystander who’s being attacked for no reason. So you may find that he calls you angry, demanding that you tell him what’s going on and you tell him NOW! 

How to Make an Emotionally Unavailable Man Miss You

He won’t tell you how he feels, so you’re left playing guessing games! Well, guess what? Two can play that game!

So if you want your emotionally unavailable man miss you like crazy, try this:

Stop Being Available

The next time he calls and asks to come over or to go out, tell him you’ve got other plans.

Since he’s not used to hearing this, alarm bells will start ringing and he’ll wonder why you don’t have time for him all of a sudden. 

Stop Texting and Calling Him

Do you text or call him first thing in the morning, when you’re on your way to work, on your lunch break, on your way back from work, and when you get home?!

It’s a bit much when you look at it like that, right? It might seem perfectly natural to want to call your significant other all the time, but eventually, he’ll start taking you for granted.

You can prevent that by being selective in your communication with him. Switch things up, don’t call or text him for a couple of days, and he’ll start acting like a love-sick teenager. 

How do You Tell if an Emotionally Unavailable Man Loves You?

Do emotionally unavailable men fall in love easily? Men will be men whether they’re emotionally unavailable or not. Men don’t tell you when they fall in love; they show you. Here’s how:

He’ll Start Doing More For You

Whether it’s washing the car, mowing the lawn, or changing the lightbulbs, your dude is always doing something for you.

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He’ll be so enthusiastic about helping out, he’ll ask whether anything needs doing. And if you can’t think of anything, he’ll think of something! 

He Talks About the Future

When he mentions the future, he uses language like, “we” and “our” which indicate that he sees you as a part of the future when he thinks about the future.

For example, you might be having a conversation about countries you’d like to visit, and he’ll say something like, “We’d have an awesome time there.”

He Introduces You to His Nearest and Dearest

Whether it’s his mom, sister, or best friend, he wants you to meet the people he cares about the most.

One of the most obvious signs that an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is they want you to be around their family.

There are several reasons for this, including, he wants their approval, and he wants to make sure you all get along before he takes the relationship to the next level.

He Makes an Effort to Improve the Relationship

Hollywood has sold us a lie, there’s no such thing as the perfect relationship. It might start off like a fairy tale in the beginning, but eventually, there’s going to be some kind of conflict.

But instead of walking away from the relationship, or brushing your issues under the rug, he makes the effort to resolve things because no matter how emotionally unavailable he is, he doesn’t want to lose you. 

Breaking Up With an Emotionally Unavailable Man.

Unless he’s a complete douchebag, ending a relationship is no fun. But neither is staying in an unfulfilling relationship. So if it’s you’ve got no choice than to break up with him, here’s how to do it:

Plan What You’re Going to Say

When you’re confident about what you’re going to say, it makes the delivery a lot easier without losing track.

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You might psych yourself up and feel that you’re totally ready to cut ties. But then you get on the phone, or sit down with him face to face and get tongue-tied.

Well, you can avoid this by planning what you’re going to say in advance. Another reason you need to plan what you’re going to say is that you need to give him specific reasons why you’re breaking up with him. 

Don’t Back Down

When a man finds it difficult to connect with his emotions, he finds other ways to communicate, which can sometimes involve manipulation.

He might not know how to tell you how he’s feeling, but he knows how to say all the right things to you to get you to do what he wants.

When you drop the bomb, he’s going to start with the slick-talking, you may have fallen for it in the past, but those days are over. When he tries to convince you to stay, stand your ground! 

After you’ve broken up with your emotionally unavailable boyfriend, here’s what you can expect:

He’ll Get a New Girlfriend

As soon as he gets up off the table you were talking at; he’ll have a new girlfriend! He will feel empty when you dump him, and so to fill that void, he’ll find someone else to focus his attention on.

And that’s not because he wants to forget about you and move on with his life. Instead, another woman acts as a bandaid, she’ll soothe his wounds.

So instead of confronting his emotions, he’ll run from them by running straight into the arms of another woman. 

He Won’t Accept The Breakup

One of the things you can expect is for him to call you the next day as if nothing’s happened. He’s literally in complete denial that you no longer want to be in a relationship with him.

So you can expect him to call for a regular chit-chat like the good old days, or he might even show up at your apartment.

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When you reiterate that the relationship is over, he’ll play dumb and say something like, “I thought you were joking.” 

He’ll Start Attention Seeking

Whether he goes out for a wild night on the town and gets steaming drunk, or he starts telling all your mutual friends how heartbroken he is, he’s going to find a way to get as much attention as he can for the pain you’ve caused him.

That’s his way of letting you know you’ve broken his heart and he’s devastated that you won’t give him a second chance. 

Do Emotionally Unavailable Dumpsters Come Back?

Of course, they do! Although emotionally unavailable men find it difficult to connect with their emotions in a meaningful way, they’ve still got emotions.

So when the relationship breaks down, and he lays his head on the pillow at night, he feels empty inside.

And eventually, that feeling of emptiness is going to drive him to come running back to you.

What if an Emotionally Unavailable Man Comes Back?

It’s up to you whether you decide to get back together or keep it moving. At the end of the day, the relationship ended because you weren’t getting what you needed.

Now that he’s come groveling back, you need to ask yourself how has he changed? Because if you’re just going to fall into the same old destructive cycle, you may as well kick rocks now!

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It’s also important to understand that your boyfriend didn’t become emotionally unavailable overnight.

The root cause is most likely something that happened in his childhood. Basically, you’re dealing with lifelong trauma here, and it’s going to take a lot of therapy, self-reflection, and healing to get to a place where he’ll be an asset in a relationship and not a liability. 

Final Thought

Ironically, an emotionally unavailable man can make you feel so emotionally drained. That’s because people who don’t connect with their own emotions tend to leech off the feelings of others.

They are masters at projection, and whatever he’s feeling, he casts onto you. So whether he misses you or not is irrelevant.

You need to decide whether you’re going to stay with him and help him work through his emotions or leave.

Because as long as he remains emotionally unavailable, you’re going to keep running into the same problems, and you’ll end up very frustrated. So think about this carefully before you make a decision.

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

1 thought on “Do Emotionally Unavailable Man Miss You?”

  1. No amount of therapy has got me past my childhood neglect. So I keep my emotionally unavailable self in isolation. Life sucks, but not in a good way. I wish I could find people like me. I’m glad they are thin on the ground.

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