Develop This Skill, and No Narcissist Will Be Able to Stand You
Narcissists love a certain type of person, and it’s through no conscious fault of yours that they power toward you like a magnet.
I know if you had the choice, you’d deflect them. Well today, I am giving you that choice.
Learning and developing skills that make narcissists hate you will save you a lifetime of pain to come, especially if you stick to your guns and make sure you remain strong.
Want to know more?
There’s one skill in particular that works the best. Let’s take a look.
#1 For so long…
You’ve wondered why you attract narcissists. You seem to bounce from one to the next, whether you’re dating them or making friends with them.
Why? What is it about you that seems to create these endless cycles of abuse wherever you go? Is it a vibe you’re giving off?
A character trait they’re attracted to? A level of vulnerability that appeals to them?
Well, if you want to know the truth, it’s all three, and more. You’re trying your best to be a good person, and you are a good person.
But good people see the bad in others the least. Good people are always positive and full of hope, and that includes how relationships play out.
And so yes, for a long time, you’ve been a magnet for these toxic people.
But all of that is about to change.
#2 It’s not your fault
None of it is your fault. How can it be? If you knew you were attracting narcissists because of something specific about your personality, I’m sure you’d want to work hard to change that.
It’s the not knowing that confuses victims, because you think ad attracts bad, but it doesn’t. Two negatives won’t light a bulb.
Seeing the way all narcissists love to be around you is like being enlightened.
At the end of your time with any narcissist, you will probably feel drained of all life, and even on edge.
Why? Not because they’re good people, but because they’ve taken your light and energy and used it for themselves, leaving you with nothing.
#3 Narcissists love a certain version of you
When a narcissist loves a certain version of you, they love it with all they know how to love. What does that mean for you?
- It means you might be great at forgiving. If the narcissist does wrong, you turn a blind eye, or laugh it off because you know them, and you’re used to the cycle of seeing their mistakes and wanting everything to be okay. So you shrug and let it go, even if it hurts. You learn that narcissists love you when you forgive, so you keep forgiving.
- It can also mean you give them love and affection even when you know you get none in return. You see their need to be emotionally pampered, and you put aside any need you have because you don’t see it as important enough at this time.
- It means your every move and reaction is being monitored by the narcissist. They’re controlling your life, and you aren’t quite aware what this means because they seem to have persuaded you that it’s all for your best interests.
- This certain version of you listens with intent. That means you absorb all the negative comments thrown at you because you want to try to be a better person for the narcissist, even though you don’t need to be.
#4 Develop this skill
It’s time you started thinking about a skill that will make all narcissists not able to stand you in the slightest. When I think about the perfect skill, it’s this:
You have to learn to retain a strong sense of self.
Without a strong sense of self, you leave your whole identity wide open to be stolen from you by these people.
They sniff out those who are subconsciously willing to give it all up for somebody else early on, and that’s why and how victims are targeted.
In retaining a strong belief in who you are and never letting that go or be swayed by anybody, you’re going to deflect the charms and ultimately the abuse of a narcissist.
#5 Why narcissists can’t stand it
Think about this for a moment. If you had a strong sense of self, how easy would it be to manipulate you?
How easy would it be to convince you that you are not worthy of nice things? How easy would it be to teach you that you are not in control of your own life?
Victims don’t walk into relationships knowingly handing themselves over to their abuser, but there is always a running theme of I want them to be happy, and if that means giving up my job, I will do it.
What about all the things you want, the things that would keep an element of strength within you that is unshakable, even for the narcissist?
If you refused to bow down to their demands, if you gave so little away about yourself when you initially met, and if they honestly earned your trust rather than you assuming it’s safe to hand it over, it would be a hell of a lot more difficult for them to be that abuser.
In fact, your self-certainty would push them away very quickly. They’re not looking for that type of person, they’re looking for weakness.
#6 Developing a strong sense of self
So, how do you develop and retain a strong sense of self?
- You want the best life has to offer. This always works out for the individual person – they want the best job they can get, the best relationships.
- You thrive on honesty and both offering and receiving support. This comes from maintaining strong bonds between your friends and knowing your worth and place in that circle.
- You love your hobbies. You don’t sacrifice them for anybody, and you don’t care if somebody has something negative to say. It tells you more about them than it ever will you.
- You’re confident. You know what you want. You know your thoughts and opinions and while it’s okay for people to disagree with you, it doesn’t mean you’re going to instantly agree with them just to keep the peace.
- You have goals, and you reach them. It doesn’t have to be fast, but they always have to be smashed because those goals mean something to you.
The key in any personal development is to not give up on what you want. Having a strong sense of self will allow for that component to thrive.
#7 It’s time the tables turned!
I think that’s what many victims search for in their quest to keep narcissists at bay.
Using what they have to build a strong sense of self will help them in the long run attract the right kinds of people, and keep abusers at bay.
Remember, abusers are always looking for a way in. If they find one, you will need to take drastic action to get them away.
If you have that strong sense of self and keep firm boundaries around you, narcissists will run a mile. Which is exactly the direction they should be running!
