Narcissistic people are difficult to put up with but they’re also misunderstood. It’s not a mental illness but a severe personality disorder.
Today, 1% of the population lives with narcissistic personality disorder or NPD. Many go undiagnosed or are diagnosed incorrectly.
Whether you know one now or will meet one eventually, telling them they’re being a narcissist is ineffective. There are other ways to go about it that’ll not only help you be less annoyed but make them realize how they’re acting.
Curious to find out how to deal with a narcissist? Let’s get into it!
Evaluate the Type of Narcissist They Are
Unbeknownst to some, there are many types of narcissists. The two main types are grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Let’s take a look at these more closely.
Vulnerable narcissists seem tough on the outside from how they carry themselves but that’s to hide a weak interior. They come off as everything a true narcissist is but have fears of rejection and feeling alone.
They’re a tad sneaky too. Someone who has been around narcissistic people can spot one a mile away. But ones who are the vulnerable type can be harder to see.
They’ll exhibit shyness and express empathy but once they feel threatened, that all goes away. It turns into a state of panic and even depression. They begin to worry about their lives in a way that they think it’s over for them.
Much like their grandiose counterpart, they share the same mindset as they’re better than everyone. But once their exterior has crumbled due to an event or conflict with another person, they can become dangerous to themselves and/or others.
Instead of putting on a vulnerable front, grandiose narcissists aren’t afraid to flaunt what (they think) they have. They’re candid and act entitled.
Aside from their sense of overconfidence, grandiose narcissists are incapable of showing any kind of empathy. They won’t bother with someone who is feeling upset or hurt, particularly by something the grandiose narcissist said or did.
Relationships with this type of narcissist can turn from good to bad in a split second. They can become manipulative or make you feel guilty for anything.
Once you understand which type they are, you can rest assured that knowing how to deal with a narcissist gets easier.
Don’t Get Flustered
Narcissists enjoy seeing others hurt. They feed on that kind of energy.
When they cause pain in your life, they feel no sympathy whatsoever. They won’t be there as a shoulder to cry on or calm you down.
You’ll need to know how to deal with a narcissist that does this. When it does happen, it’s best not to show they ruffled your feathers.
Once you show any kind of emotion towards their actions, such as annoyance, they will only keep acting that way. If they know how to push your buttons, they’ll use it to their advantage.
For the times when you are feeling annoyed, keep a poker face. This’ll not only confuse them but diminish the behavior. They’ll start to understand they can’t get to you and eventually stop.
Understand They Need Help
These people aren’t aware of their condition. Since it’s not a mental illness, there is no cure.
They can better themselves by speaking with a therapist or another medical professional. There is no proven method of where medication successfully solved the problem of narcissism.
Seeking cognitive behavioral therapy can be a step in the right direction. While they may not be able to overcome their narcissism, it may improve their attitude towards people.
This type of therapy digs up the underlying causes of why people behave poorly. They’ll learn why they act the way they do and in return, learn ways to better their behavior.
Therapy isn’t a cure for narcissism. It’s simply a tool to use for when things get out of hand.
When you’re constantly in contact with a narcissist, such as working alongside them, it can be draining. The constant ridicule and the way they flaunt their attitude can pose problems for not only you but those around you.
When it’s starting to affect the way you act and behave, you need to separate yourself. Maybe that means working in another cubicle or personally asking permission to be away from that person.
You need to do what you need to do to feel sane. Putting yourself first rather than someone else can prove to be surmountable.
Once that separate is in place, you’ll be able to think more clearly and not to feel pressured about anything. You’ll no longer be an emotional punching bag for when the narcissist is upset with someone or something.
If they noticed you’ve drifted away from them physically and they need a source to pull from, they will try to lure you back. They’ll plead for you to come back and convince you they’ve learned their lesson.
Truth is, it’s all a fluke. They want to draw you back in so when you do, they have more control and more power over you.
Once they realize you’re easily manipulated by just a few false apologizes, they won’t stop. They’ll guilt you in ways you’ve never realized someone could.
Knowing how to deal with a narcissist is the first step. The next step is deciding what to do for yourself that’ll propel you forward to a better place.
It’s all about them. When you decide to stop putting up with it and remove yourself from their life, it’ll get better.
You need to put yourself first. And when you do, it’s the best for your mental health and wellbeing.
Wrapping Up on How to Deal with a Narcissist
Narcissistic personality disorder is not to be taken lightly. Since it’s often misunderstood, others don’t know what to do once they’ve encountered a narcissistic person.
It’s easy to think simply disciplining them will snap them out of it but it doesn’t. Ultimately, there is no cure for this disorder, only ways to cope with it.
When all hope seems lost and your relationship at stake, you can count on knowing ways to manage living with a narcissist. For more information on the topic, check out our other blog posts!