Wanting to protect your children from the dangers of life is an instinct money just cannot buy.
Our kids need to know that they’re safe, and I’m afraid this does include being safe from all narcissists.
There are ways to divert your kids away from being a narcissist’s easiest victim, to making them untouchable.
If you can achieve that, then you have officially won the game of life.
Want to know more? You’ve come to the right place!
#1 They need to believe in themselves
Before anything else, children need to believe in themselves.
Knowing what they like, what they don’t like, the things they want from life, what brings them joy, and what causes them pain; it all matters.
These components make up a very strong person who is sure of themselves, and I believe is the fundamental foundation of any person who is untouchable to the narcissist.
If you can get a child to see defiance as strength, they will go places as an adult, and for that I am certain.
When you are raising your kids, it’s about letting them feel their emotions.
Lean into every one, even if there is sadness or frustration involved. No emotion is bad if dealt with correctly and understood.
This is a core way of helping your child become sure of themselves, and a narcissist repellent.
#2 Their reality? IT EXISTS!
All too often we see the gaslighting ways a narcissist pulls their victims from their reality, reshaping it to fit their own toxic narrative.
Starting young, kids need to know that what they have experienced, the things like love and remember are not to be messed with.
Teaching a child to doubt themselves leads to trouble for everybody else but the narcissist, and I firmly believe it’s where so many problems with the self can begin.
Their reality exists. Their pain and joy exists. It shouldn’t be taken from anybody, least of all a narcissist.
When toxic people realize they can’t alter a reality, they tend to steer well clear.
#3 Strong boundaries will push anybody away
Boundaries are the enemy of the narcissist. With firm boundaries in place, no narcissist is able to get even remotely close to you, and that’s how some people never have to worry that a narcissist is closing in on them.
Take the word no for example. What does that word conjure up for you?
For victims of narcissistic abuse, no can feel uncomfortable, not least because it’s a word that does the opposite of people-pleasing.
Yet by learning the art of saying no, you are teaching yourself that you have limits, and you are putting those limits out there into the world for all, including the narcissist.
Teaching your kids to say no and be comfortable saying it is worth more than gold itself, because in the long run you are showing them that no is a sentence, and that it isn’t going to be moved or shifted by anybody, no matter how hard they try.
More so, boundaries can also look like how much you will tolerate in terms of bad behavior.
The moment that is exceeded, your boundary meets them and tells them to leave.
Which I think we can all agree, is precisely what all narcissists need to do, am I right?
#4 Know what you want – and fight for it
It’s okay to know what you want and to fight for it, even from a young age.
When you’re a kid, so many times you are met with no, or maybe later, but to teach kids to be untouchable to a narcissist, you need to start shaping them the right way as soon as you can.
When a person knows what they want and sticks to that, they become unable to be swayed another way.
Are you sure you don’t want this?
Are you sure you don’t want to just do that?
What about if you tried another day instead?
Are you sure this is for you?
The reasons that follow will be convincing, and narcissists know they’re able to convince a child much faster than a grown adult.
That’s why you get in first, get that head start, and prove to the narcissist that your kids aren’t toys to play with.
They are real people with real feelings, and they will not be the next victim.
#5 Resilience is key
So much is said about resilience now, but I genuinely believe people think it means to just keep fighting no matter what.
To an extent, sure, it can. But it also means to stand defiant even when you don’t quite know the outcome of a situation.
To be resilient is to learn new ways to achieve and succeed, and not just fall down and give up .
Narcissists love any person who falls down and calls out for help, because they can swoop in and be the hero while simultaneously causing so much mayhem that you don’t know where to look first.
And who falls down and makes a lot of mistakes? Kids! It’s natural that they’d need direction, but that direction has to be from the right people; the inspiring people.
#6 Learn toxic behaviors fast
Learning toxic behaviors can be tricky, especially when that toxic behavior is hidden behind seemingly good intentions and a charming smile.
#7 Little and young doesn’t mean irrelevant and dumb
Narcissists will look at kids like they’re young and dumb, and easily manipulated.
They forget one thing though, and that is that kids know and clock a lot more than any of us give them credit for.
While they do want to look up to those around them, they also learn a lot about behaviors that aren’t good, and won’t hesitate to question what they see.
See your kids as just that. See them as people, and not small and irrelevant. I promise you will raise confident kids who feel as though they have an honest, true and noble place in life.
You can’t beat that.
#8 No is powerful
No is the most powerful thing a person can say, especially if they say it without apology or explanation.
Feeling the need to do that just highlights how badly some narcissists push their victims into feeling guilty for saying no, or for not wanting to upset the people they’re saying it to.
When your kids can say no with a confident tone, the narcissist will know it will be hard to get them to change their minds.
Which is exactly what you want!
#9 Carry it all with confidence
Confidence has been the main theme though this topic, and it’s the very thing that will keep a narcissist at bay.
It is the ultimate repellent, and with enough of it, anybody of any age will be able to keep toxic people at arm’s length.
Kids can be untouchable to narcissists if they are sure of themselves, and comfortable living in their own confidence.
That’s what you want to aim for when raising yours, ensuring they are happy int their own skin, without any need to change just because somebody wants them to.
