Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?

Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings for her is a common question.

There are several reasons it’s easier for men to have casual sex, including love and sex are not the same for men, men need sex, and men produce less oxytocin than women.

If you’ve slept with a guy and now want a relationship, but you’re confused about why he’s not committing, it’s probably because he doesn’t have feelings for you.

Keep reading to find out whether a man can sleep with a woman without developing feelings.  

Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?

Unfortunately for the woman who’s given up the goodies and is now an emotional wreck, men can sleep with a woman without developing feelings because love and sex are not the same for men, men need sex, and men produce less oxytocin than women.

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Keep reading to gain more insight into the question: Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings? 

Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?

#1 Love and Sex Are Not The Same For Men

One of the biggest mistakes women make is to have sex with a man hoping he’ll fall in love with her. It never happens! For men, sex does not equal love.

They are two completely different acts. When a man has sex, he doesn’t feel love, but when a woman has sex, she feels love.

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That’s one of the reasons why men can hit it and quit it so easily. They can sleep with a woman and forget about her seconds after.

#2 Men Need Sex

There are plenty of men who can live without sex. Take monks and priests for example; they’ve chosen a life of celibacy.

There is also a community of men called the ‘nofap’ community who have sworn off porn, sex, and masturbation.

However, outside of these groups, men need sex because their bodies produce sperm; once it builds up, they need to release it.

Men Need Sex

So when a man is looking for sex, his number one priority is releasing that buildup and not falling in love.

Once he ejaculates, he puts on his clothes and keeps it moving. The woman he slept with won’t cross his mind until he needs sex again. 

#3 Men Produce Less Oxytocin Than Women 

One of the main reasons men do not develop feelings for a woman after sleeping with her is because they don’t produce as much oxytocin as women.

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Oxytocin has been nicknamed the ‘love hormone,’ it is released during sex and childbirth and contributes to the bonding experience between men and women.

However, since men produce less oxytocin than women, it takes more for them to develop feelings after sex. 

#4 Men Rarely Fantasize About The Future

When a man meets a woman, he spends no time fantasizing about a future with her. He lives in the moment, and if he’s attracted to her, his first thought is sex.

After sleeping with the woman, he puts her in the back of his mind until he decides he wants sex again.

Men Rarely Fantasize About The Future

In contrast, women are known to start fantasizing about getting married and having children with a man the first time she sleeps with him. 

#5 Men Can Sleep With Women They Are Not Attracted To

A man does not need to be physically attracted to a woman to sleep with her. As long as she’s got what he needs and is willing to give it up, he’s ready for action.

Again, this boils down to men needing to release their sperm.

When that time comes, as the saying goes, they are no longer thinking with their brain, but the brain between their legs is doing the thinking, and it doesn’t discriminate.

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This is one of the reasons the sex industry is thriving, and it will continue to thrive.

Some men would rather pay for sex knowing they will get their needs met than waste time trying to finesse a woman. 

#6 Sex Is Something To Brag About

Some men treat sex like a sport and brag about their conquests with their friends.

Therefore, they don’t see women as potential long-term love interests but as a badge of honor. As a result, they will not develop feelings for someone they have dehumanized. 

Sex Is Something To Brag About

#7 Men Have Been Conditioned To Believe They Don’t Have Feelings

The macho image perpetuated by society has conditioned men to believe they don’t have feelings.

Although this is far from the truth, this ideology is so ingrained in some men that they have shut off their emotions subconsciously, making it a lot easier for them to sleep with a woman without developing feelings for her. 

#8 Men Do Not Have The Same Emotional Needs As Women

Although women are perfectly capable of shutting off their feelings and having purely sexual relationships, they do not have the same emotional needs as men and are therefore more likely to develop feelings for a man after sleeping with him.

Men Do Not Have The Same Emotional Needs As Women

Women can develop an emotional attachment to a man after sex because they are biologically wired to need an emotional attachment. This is not the case for men. 

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#9 It Is Socially Acceptable For Men To Pursue One Night Stands

Since it’s socially acceptable for men to pursue one night stands, they can do so without feeling pressured to be with one woman.

The act of bed hopping leaves no room for a man to develop feelings. This is especially true if he is not ready for a relationship. 

#10 Some Men Don’t Know What They Want 

When a man doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship, he will have casual sex until something clicks and he starts developing feelings for a certain woman.

 Some Men Don’t Know What They Want 

But this typically happens if he’s been sleeping with her for a while and got to know her outside the bedroom.

He will then ditch all the other women he’s sleeping with and commit to one woman. 

How Do Guys Not Catch Feelings When Sleeping With Someone?

As stated, men can separate sex and love; therefore, it takes more than sex for them to start developing feelings. One of the main requirements is trust.

They need to know that a woman is trustworthy before committing to her, and developing trust takes time. 

How Do You Know When A Guy Is Emotionally Attached?

Can a man love a woman without sleeping with her? And Do guys get emotionally attached after sex? 

These are questions women ask themselves all the time. The answer to the first question is yes, and the answer to the second question is no.

Sex does not cause emotional attachment. Knowing and appreciating a woman for her inner qualities leads to emotional attachment.

How Do You Know When A Guy Is Emotionally Attached?

You will know when a man is emotionally attached to you because he will want to introduce you to his friends, he will want to spend more time with you, and he is very affectionate.

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Here are eight signs that a guy is emotionally attached. 

#1 He Wants To Introduce You To His Friends

A man’s friends are important to him, and when he meets a girl he really likes, he wants to get their approval of her. He also thinks you’re hot and wants to show you off to his friends.

Men who are not considering a serious relationship won’t waste their time introducing you to their friends because he knows you won’t be around for long. 

#2 He Wants To Spend More Time With You

He’s not calling you in the middle of the night to arrange a booty call. But he’s just seen an advert for a movie, and he wants to watch it with you.

He Wants To Spend More Time With You

When a guy wants to spend more time with you, it’s because he enjoys your company and you make him feel good. Men like spending their free time with friends and family because they are the people they value.

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Or he’ll just chill at home alone, but now when he’s got free time on his hands, the only person he wants to spend it with is you.

So he’ll start arranging date nights and randomly checking if you’re free so he can come over. 

#3 He Is Very Affectionate

A lot of women complain that the only time their partners are affectionate is when they want sex.

This might be true in some cases. Also, there may be issues in the relationship that make him act like this.

But when a guy likes a girl, he just wants to be near her, so he might do things like wrap his arms around you while you’re washing the dishes or snuggle with you on the sofa.

If it leads to sex, then fine, but his motive was never sex. He just wanted to be close to you. 

#4 He Gets Protective Over You

When a man loves a woman, he wants to protect her. According to relationship expert James Bauer, this is referred to as the ‘hero instinct.’

Bauer states that men are biologically wired to want to protect and provide for their women and offspring. When he’s developing an emotional attachment, he’ll start doing chivalrous things like walking you to your car or door after a night out.

He Gets Protective Over You

He’ll shield you from the rain if it starts raining by holding your coat or umbrella over your head. When you’re walking down the street, he’ll walk on the side closest to the cars.

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Or if he finds out someone has been messing with you, he’ll want to get involved and defend you. 

#5 He Wants To Speak To You All The Time 

Men generally don’t care for extended conversations because it’s for a purpose when they speak.

They’re either making arrangements or coming up with a solution to a problem. Conversely, women enjoy talking for hours on end about anything and everything.

If your guy friend initiates these conversations, it’s a sign he’s starting to catch feelings. He will call you randomly throughout the day to see how you are and hear your voice. 

#6 He Remembers Your Birthday

When a guy isn’t planning on taking things to the next level, he will intentionally forget the birthday of the woman he’s dating because he doesn’t want to give her the wrong idea.

He Remembers Your Birthday

But if he gets attached to you, he’ll do something nice for your birthday. Whether he takes you out or cooks you dinner, he’ll make an effort because he wants to impress you. 

#7 He Expresses His Feelings

Society has conditioned us to believe that men don’t express emotions unless it’s anger. But that’s far from the truth, men are just as emotional as women, and when they feel they’re in a safe space, they’ll let you know how they feel.

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If he feels comfortable enough to let his guard down and speak openly about the things that are in his heart, he is emotionally attached to you. 

#8 He Values Your Opinion

If he values your opinion, it means he’s been around you long enough to know that you know what you’re talking about.

He Values Your Opinion

He thinks you’re intelligent and full of wisdom, and so when he needs advice about something important, he’ll ask you for it. 

How Long Does It Take For A Man To Develop Feelings For A Woman?

According to a study published in Readers Digest, men are typically the first to fall in love in a relationship.

If you’re really lucky, they may fall in love with you at first sight because studies suggest they are 48% more likely to do so.

How Long Does It Take For A Man To Develop Feelings For A Woman?

On average, it takes men approximately eighty-eight days to drop the ‘L’ word, whereas it takes women one hundred and thirty-two days.

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It is not guaranteed that your man will tell you he loves you within eighty-eight days, but it’s safe to say that if you’re still together after three months that he’s developed feelings for you even if he hasn’t articulated it yet. 

To Conclude

Unless you are certain you only want a sexual relationship, it’s best to wait a few months and let a guy prove himself before sleeping with him.

If a guy just wants sex, he’s not going to hang around for long if sex is not guaranteed.

Using this strategy may take longer to find a partner, but it will weed out the undesirables.

Last Updated on August 14, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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