Right before a narcissist cuts you off, their mind is working on a totally different level.
They want to leave, walk away and never see you again, but to you, they have never been nicer. And we don’t talk about it nearly enough.
If you think the narcissist has finally changed and is being nice, think again.
They’re doing nothing but creating the perfect set up to leave you high, dry, and hurt.
This is the last thing a narcissist does before cutting you off.
#1 When everything is going well
The part that confuses victims the most!
Everything can feel like it’s going so well, even brilliantly. The narcissist appears to be in a good mood, and there’s been no drama for a while.
There’s a calm in the air that you might not fully understand, but that you’ll take all the same.
It’s… almost… normal.
You notice the narcissist is kinder than usual, and even more present. You start to slowly let your guard down.
Could this be the one time they are going to change, and where you will see a real future between you coming to fruition?
Instead of peace, it’s like the narcissist is positioning their pieces before they make their attack and cut you off for good.
#2 A peace that feels oddly unfamiliar
When peace feels oddly unfamiliar like this, it proves there’s something else going on.
Arguments don’t just stop for no reason, but what you aren’t seeing is all the work the narcissist is putting into you not noticing what’s happening.
And you sense it, don’t you? Yet it feels hollow, too hollow to ignore. The peace comes laced with a weight that you can’t see, but know fully well is there.
That weight is the narcissist no longer being emotionally invested.
They’ve stepped back because they don’t want to look like they’re giving you everything while knowing they’re about to cut you off.
You don’t feel safe, and when you feel that way, the unease is an indicator that unpredictability is about to take over.
#3 Waiting for the emotional missile
The body always knows before the mind does. It picks up on what you’ve experienced before, and it tells you that there is danger ahead.
You feel it in the way your heart starts to race, or your mind overthinks. You worry, but you don’t really know why you’re worrying.
You are waiting, and you don’t know what for, but you know something is coming.
The mind learned the pattern and the body responded. That’s why you notice it in your body before you’ve even thought about what lies ahead.
The narcissist sends their emotional missile, and it leaves you feeling even more unstable.
They’re making you feel as though you’re the only person for them, yet it’s coming way out of the blue, too much to even make any sense of it.
#4 The promises
Well. In the niceness, you hear the promises.
And they’re big. They seem real, because the narcissist is so good at sounding legit.
We can fix this.
Things will change.
I do see a future with you.
It sounds sincere, but they’re really lining you up to leave you.
And there’s nothing worse than being left right after you’ve been told wonderful things.
Narcissists want one final hurrah with you. They have controlled you since the day you met, and they won’t cut you off without reaffirming to themselves that they still get to pull all the strings.
They truly get a kick out of it, and promises keep you feeling like they really mean it this time.
But they don’t.
They’re just being the cruelest to you because they know you have further down to fall if you come from a happy place.
#5 Cutting you off
And then, it happens.
Like a bolt out of the blue; a searing pain through your chest. You panic, because you didn’t see it coming.
You punish yourself because you should have read and understood the signs.
The cut off comes, and it feels so cold. Your plans together crumble, as the future you thought you had fades to nothing in the space of a few seconds.
You think back. Was there a sign you missed? Did they tell you this was going to happen?
The last thing the narcissist did before cutting you off was telling you how loved you are.
That peace you felt, felt real. How did you get it so wrong? One day, you feel more connected than ever, and the next, it’s as if they don’t even know who you are.
You try to call them, but it cuts off because they blocked you. A text bounces back, or is left with one tick.
You try to speak to a friend of theirs, but they don’t answer either. It’s all been a plan, and now you’re seeing that you were never destined to be.
#6 Never see them again?
That can be the case, yes. Sometimes narcissists disappear entirely when they cut you off.
Their bags are packed, and they ship out of town and start again somewhere new that you will never find them.
They won’t even tell new people they meet about you, unless they can paint it so you were the one who cut them off, and they left town to ‘seek a new chapter.’
Sometimes they can vanish for months, and reappear as if nothing happened.
They smile and ask you how you’ve been, and it takes all your energy to not get sucked into the toxic vortex all over again.
You know you’ve done too much work to fall back into that trap.
Don’t let moments like this fool you into thinking that you’re damaged, because you aren’t.
Narcissists will try anything to destabilize you, and in that uncertainty you can think some very false things about yourself.
#7 The truth about future-faking
Future faking is a term that I would describe here as accurate.
A narcissist promises you the world, right before they walk out on you and cut off contact, sometimes once and for all.
When they leave, you grieve everything about the relationship, including the latest batch of promises they made.
Those promises were what kept you invested, meanwhile they knew exactly what they were doing.
And you’re left not understanding what went wrong, or why you fell for it all in the first place.
I’ll tell you why.
It’s because narcissists are so convincing. They had you in a corner, making you believe everything they said was real, and with that comes an element of safety that you start to cling to.
Could it be real this time?
Is the narcissist meaningful with what they’re saying?
No. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed for thinking they were being honest.
They’re very persuasive people after all, that’s all part of the charm, right? It’s what draws anybody to a narcissist.
There’s something freeing in realization, though. It’s now that you stop waiting and wishing, and start living a life that is meaningful for you.
I think that’s an overdue emotion to feel, don’t you?
