Q: I read an article of yours on another site. Thank you for information. It is helping me bring foreclosure. When I read your article on bipolar vs. Narcissism, I found myself saying yes. YES my ex is bipolar after we were divorced he was even hospitalized. And then I found myself saying YES he is a narcissist. His manic episodes leered years apart. But when he was level he behaved like a narcissist. He discarded me like a narcissist. He divorced like a narcissist. I handle him with no contact like a narcissist and it works. Would no contact work on someone who is bipolar? Or am I just lucky enough to have married a man who falls into the 5% of those who are have both. I have joint custody. He has rights just like any other divorced father. I lacked the resources to prove his mental health and also learned that it would not have much of an effect on visitation in my state. He does follow court orders out of a sense of proving he is a good father.
Am I on the right track in treating my bipolar ex who may also be a Narc with no contact?
A: Absolutely! Although because you have joint custody you will have to have Some contact with him- minimize it. Example: meet him at the car with your child(ren), don’t let him in the house to begin any interactions. Repeatedly tell him you will discuss nothing but the child’s welfare. Stick with that boundary! Don’t let him get off topic because he will try to manipulate you in order to do so. Do NOT engage in other topics. You are lucky, indeed, that he is out to prove that he is a good father. Take advantage of that fact when you can, especially to help your child make the most out of any positive interactions with his father.