You know exactly what I’m talking about, right? The narcissist, with their pockets full of cash, will still beg you for your last $5 even though they don’t even need it.
They would rather see you have nothing, than part with their own hard earned cash.
But what is it about these people specifically that want to take you for everything you’ve got?
If you think you know the moral limits of a narcissist, just wait until you’ve read this.
#1 Seeing what you have
When a narcissist sees you, they see everything you have. That can include finances or material wealth, but mostly, they’re eying you up as a person and getting a good idea of who you are, and what you come packaged with.
When you first meet a narcissist, you might think you’re just having a nice conversation with somebody who seems charming, but in reality, they are taking all of you in.
It’s in their interests to know and see what they are up against, and any money you have in your pocket is going to be noted.
Yes – even if that amount is $5.
You see, it’s never about the amount of money you have, but we will come to that a little later.
For now – that $5 is important to you, and the narcissist sees that.
#2 Narcissists love to take
It’s never not in a narcissist’s job description to hold back, so when they see something they want, they will go for it until it is in their hands.
This can spell danger for you; a person who is just trying to be the best and most giving version of themselves they can be.
The narcissist sees you.
They see your need to be good and to do good, so that $5 is as good as already in their pocket.
They do it in a way that makes you want to pretend that you’ve got a lot, even if you don’t.
Victims are almost intimidated to pretend that the $5 is no big deal, while inside, they’re thinking, “But this is all I have.”
Not wanting to put that across to the narcissist, victims smile and hand over everything they have just to be able to make them smile and please them.
Well, I have news for you. You will never please a narcissist, not even a little bit.
Your $5 that means everything to you, means nothing to them. They don’t need it.
But they need you to give it to them.
#3 Money: their obsession
I think much of this does boil down to the fact that narcissists are completely obsessed with money.
There’s this overly powerful thought from them that money equals success, so taking yours is a form of that.
Being seen as a fine, upstanding citizen with an expensive jacket on their back they think is enough to make people see them as good, with a reputation that exceeds most people.
For the smarter of society (you and I), we know the truth.
We know they are up to something, and that taking your last $5 while they have $500 in their pocket is the kind of move that spells out a real sneaky tactic, and that’s where it gets really interesting.
#4 $5 is just the test
Your $5 is a test. You might hear, “Oh my God, can I borrow $5? I totally forgot about something and I need to be able to pay it off today.”
Hearing that will make you jump off the couch and reach into your pocket.
“Of course!” you’ll gleefully say. You want to make them happy, and finally you get an opportunity to do that.
You hand over the $5 with a smile, and they snatch it coldly from you without so much as a nod of thanks.
You’ll never see that $5 again, but most importantly, they’ve tested you without even realizing it, and that’s what all of this is about.
Your handing over of your last remaining dollars proves to them how loyal you can be, and how far you will go to try to make them happy.
They see it in your eyes as you keenly tell them it’s no big deal (even though it is). This is where they think:
Wow. If they can give me $5 even though they have no more money to offer, what other lengths will they go to, to try to prove they love me? What can I do to push them even further?
This is a truly powerful and toxic position for the narcissist, and for you, it’s incredibly problematic as your boundaries are pushed more and more to the side.
You will be expected to do more and more, losing more of yourself in the process.
And the worst part? As soon as you realize what’s going on, you will be blamed, shamed and criticized, therefore, the easiest way to act, is to continue to give away everything you have and everything you are.
#5 If you’re loyal, you can stay
The bottom line in a nutshell!
If you are loyal, and for as long as you are loyal, you can stay. The narcissist will be pleased to see the $5.
From that point on, it might become $10, or $20, or $100. You will be asked weekly for money, until you literally have nothing left.
Then you will be asked for your credit card, and that will be maxed out, too.
This isn’t just about money either, it’s about your light, your joy, your time, your energy, your car, your skills, your connections; it all matters.
As long as you keep giving the narcissist what they want, you are seen as somebody they can constantly rely on.
Think of it like this. You have 100% battery, and the narcissist does, too.
Only they want to charge their back up, so they start to take from your only supply.
And you give it to them. You go from 100 to 70 in the blink of an eye, then down to 45. You don’t care, because you just want the narcissist to be okay.
That’s where the problem lies, and where your loyalty knows no bounds.
#6 Watching them walk away with your worth
It’s disheartening to watch a narcissist walk away with everything you have, especially when they are so ungrateful.
You think, “Well, as long as they’re okay, that’s all that matters.”
But it’s not. You matter. And so does your money.
That $5 might have been exactly what you needed, but you chose to give it to a person who will never say thank you, and never express their gratitude.
As they walk away with a little part of your worth, there should be a huge part of you that realizes just how low they can get, and what a mistake it is to assume the narcissist will ever see you as anything other than a source of supply.
As they beg and you give, remember, you’re not doing anything to help yourself in the long run.
I say hold on to your cash – and your self-worth!
