Narcissists are deceitful yet cunning masters of manipulation, that’s for sure. They know how to get exactly what they want – at your cost.

If you’ve ever felt completely drained, used, or even controlled in your relationship, there’s a pretty strong chance a narcissist is going to be responsible. 

Their tactics can be subtle and calculated, and they are often hard to see until it’s too late. 

I want to show you the 9 key ways narcissists take advantage of you, and once you know their moves, you can take back control. 

Ready to start protecting yourself? 

Mistaking Them

Mistaking a narcissist for a good person is how we all fall into the trap and allure. It can happen in friendships, as well as relationships and at work. 

Heck, you can even find the odd one or two in your own family!

Mistaking them is how we learn our lesson, But this entire topic was made for you to have your wits about you. 

To be on guard. 

To make sure it never happens again.

You Want The ‘Good Guy’

Everybody wants the good guy, and I use ‘guy’ to describe all people, here.

The good guy will take care of you. They won’t see your weaknesses as opportunities to play with your emotions. 

You’ve been through your own fair share of problems, and you’re waiting for that inner peace to come knocking at your door. 

You’re sick of being treated unfairly, and you’re waiting for the moment it stops. 

9 Ways Narcissists Take Advantage Of You

#1 Thieves of Reality

When a narcissist steals your reality, they aren’t just taking what’s theirs, they’re taking everything you stand for.

Your reality is based on your perception, what you see, hear and experience, and how you feel about those things.

If you’re going to have somebody come along and swipe it all away like none of it matters, you will completely lose yourself.

Over time, a loss of reality will look like you just saying yes because you want to agree with somebody.

You will forget what it’s like to be able to wisely give your version without it being stomped all over. 

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#2 Good Old You…!

Yep! You’ll tolerate anything. You’ll deal with the backlash or criticism. You’ll take on that task even though you have more than enough going on yourself.

You’ll run yourself ragged because other people are making unrealistic demands of you – with high expectations to follow. 

Good old you, right?

It’s not fair, no. That’s how narcissists like to work, and how they will continue to use you because you make it so easy.

I’m not suggesting you give away all of yourself, but your kindness by nature will be used as a way for the narcissist to take what isn’t theirs. 

#3 “Stay At Home – I’ve Got This”

It happens all the time.

Stay at home. I will go to work, and you take care of everything under this roof.

The advantage the narcissist then feels they have is the permission to boss you around, and keep you under their control.

You can’t spend money without my permission.

I have the final say in how much money gets spent.

You have to ask before you buy anything, and I want receipts as proof.

Can you imagine living like that? Maybe some of you don’t have to do any imagining at all.

#4 “Stop Everything: I’m Unwell!”

They don’t care what’s going on in your normal day-to-day life: if they feel unwell, you’re to stop everything and be with them. Support them. Feel sorry for them. Make them soup – whatever you need to do.

The worst part of it is, sometimes they don’t have to be unwell at all. Narcissists will play it to gain the ultimate attention they require from you.

Why?

Because they know how caring and compassionate you are! It’s not a bad trait to have, but it will be taken full advantage of by the wrong people…

…By narcissists!

#5 “You’ll Do It!”

A lot of narcissists look at their victims like people who just ‘will.’ And I know how that can make said victim feel completely underappreciated in everything they do. 

But, as good people who only want to help, they continue to play that role, because they feel they’re making a positive difference to the narcissist. 

This couldn’t be further from the truth. 

The narcissist is actually taking full advantage of their victims. 

When the victim agrees, and runs around after the narcissist, only one person will gain, and one person will lose.

Because no matter what you do, it will never be enough. 

#6 Love-Bomb: Incoming!

Oh, the charm. The energy. The love. The passion. The warmth. The excitement. The attention. The validation. The promises. The love. The wondrous ways your fairytale story is coming together…

… What’s it all for, if not to completely take advantage of you? The idea of love-bombing isn’t to love you, it’s to bomb you with overwhelm, so that you don’t see anything as good anywhere else.

You stay. You attach. You reaffirm. You become codependent. 

That’s not for your benefit. It’s for the narcissist!

#7 They’re Sorry

If I just say sorry every time I upset them, they will keep forgiving me.

Well, that equates to automatic permission to get away with whatever the heck you want to get away with, right?

Right!

Don’t tolerate it all – just because what follows is an apology.

You’re worth more than that.

#8 “I’ll Be in Charge of That – Thank You!”

Never underestimate how much control and power narcissists want. They will not allow you access to the bank statements, the use of cards, or even the car if they had their way – and they will try to implement that as best they can.

I see it so often—victims saying they just don’t have control of such important household matters. 

Your place is looking after the house.

The children need you – I’ll deal with the rest.

It’s complicated. Let me handle it all. 

It’s time to stand up and see yourself as an equal, not a minor, in the house you live in.

#9 It’s Not Them – It’s You

Oh, it’s never them! They need somebody to blame, and somebody to take advantage of.

That’s you.

Blame shifting

It’s never the narcissist’s fault. If they can squirm out of a sticky situation, they’ll put you in the firing line.

Projection

If you accuse them of something, they will throw it right back in your face. That makes you feel guilty and ashamed even to have the audacity. It’s also to take the heat off of what they actually did wrong.

They’re using you.

Triangulation

Getting in between two people who are getting along swimmingly means the narcissist is breaking up a future alliance. 

That alliance may turn against them someday – so they take advantage of your friendly nature and immediately stop it. 

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Believe it or not, narcissists make mistakes every single day.

Just when you thought you believed the perfect image they portrayed, you’re starting to see through the cracks.

Oh, what fun that is!

Now, to see through those cracks, all you need is a little insight into what really happens when narcissists create huge errors for all to see.

And believe me, they can get very silly!

You Think They Are Perfect… So Do They!

When somebody presents you with this perfect image of themselves, it’s easy to believe it all the while those rose-tinted glasses are on. When you don’t see a fault, it won’t even cross your mind that they are less than the whole package. 

A narcissist will do this well because they don’t want you to see all the ways they’re actually as insecure as they are toxic. 

It’s like a show, right?

The show starts, and everybody takes a seat and watches the actors on stage. You don’t know what the actors are really like because you’re seeing them play a role; a character. 

It’s the same with all narcissists. They welcome you to your seat, and show you what you came to see. 

Eventually, that show is going to have to end. I mean, nobody can continuously act like that without their real character starting to come through.

The Horror!

It’s always a horror to the narcissist when they make a mistake. When something happens, you get to see the version of themselves that holds no color and no warmth. That’s when you realize what a facade it all is.

Catching them fail to be perfect means you have seen the real person behind the pretense. Furthermore, they are reminded in that single moment that they have faults.

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Hey, don’t be surprised if you recognize your own situation in every single one of these points!

#1 They Are So Predictable!

The longer you get to know a narcissist, the more you can start to see patterns in their behavior.

You know at the family party, they’re going to turn up and cause some kind of discomfort. You learn to dread those gatherings, but more so, you find yourself preparing for them.

Psyching yourself up, or remembering all the times before they’ve passed comment or judgment, or made you the butt of jokes.

The way they can destroy an occasion is astounding – but they do it so frequently and similarly that you can now actually call them predictable.

#2 They Tell On Themselves

Oops, did the narcissist slip up? I think they may have! Narcissists only have to say one word or phrase for you to see or hear the slip up.

No, I’ve never spoken to them in my life.

Really? The same person I saw you with at the office last week?

I told you I didn’t want to go.

No. I have a text here from two weeks ago saying that you were looking forward to it.

Narcissists tell on themselves all the time, if you let them just fall into their own traps. Making it easy for them to do so gives you far more ammunition when it comes to fighting your half of the conflict. 

Narcissists only think they’re clever, but if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll see them make mistake after mistake.

It’s hilarious!

#3 Confession Time!

A narcissist will tell you everything about themselves the second they start projecting onto you.

You’re so narcissistic! Stop trying to control everything!

Nobody likes you! You’re not worth their time.

You are so frustrating. I wish you’d learn to love yourself more!

When you are stuck in the midst of these kinds of comments, it’s hard to really understand them to be any other way than pure insults.

Once you learn about projection, you learn that narcissists use it to put everything they feel about themselves onto you so they don’t have to deal with it themselves.

This constant denial is hurtful at the time, because it seems as though you can’t do a thing right.

In actual fact – the mistake is the narcissist assuming you’re anywhere near as toxic as they are. 

#4 No Reason Anger

Shout, shout, shout.

Rah, rah, rah.

Noise, noise, noise.  

What’s it all for? Give me one good reason?

The narcissist can’t.

It’s anger for absolutely no reason, but it’s aimed at you to make you feel like you need to say sorry.

For what?

You didn’t do anything wrong.

When the narcissist becomes angry for no reason, they make the silly mistake of trying to lure people into the drama. 

Some will fall for it, yes. Once you start awakening to narcissist abuse, you will probably find yourself walking away and shaking your head.

Because it’s just not worth it. 

#5 They Underestimate You

Underestimating you is a huge mistake. Imagine thinking that you can’t do a fraction of the things you’re actually able to do – with ease!

Not only that, but this is also about character.

When a person wants to break you, they can take you to hell and back trying. If you remain steadfast in your response and do not let it get to you, you will end up being severely underestimated.

#6 They Don’t Commit To The Change They Promise

This is when you start to see the narcissist for who they really are.

Those promises made that are continuously broken will form a pattern for you. And no, it doesn’t work out the way you hope because that happens when hope fades to disappointment. 

You want somebody to commit to you, and love you for who you are. And all the ways they say they will be there for you to be true and followed through with.

You soon learn to not trust them, even though they are yearning for you to be faithful and stick by their side.

It’s too late when you open your eyes and see the narcissist, not the charmer!

#7 Believing They’re Perfect

This one almost makes me cringe.

Narcissists all believe they’re perfect. 

They adore themselves on the surface, and convince themselves that they have no flaws at all. 

That’s a lot to uphold, don’t you think? Especially when the mask can slip so easily…

#8 Believing What They Say is True

A narcissist’s voice is their favorite song. I’ll go one deeper than that:

A narcissist’s voice is their favorite ever sound. 

Nothing beats it.

They’re always right and believe anything they say is true. 

Nobody can convince them otherwise, and if you so much as question, then more fool you.

Well, actually, more fool them…

…One day they will be proven wrong, which will be their most embarrassing moment to date!