A narcissist’s work is never complete until they’ve made you feel completely isolated from everyone around you.

From good friends to close family and all in between, it’s as if they hold a powerful magnet, pulling people away from you and leaving you feeling alone.

You wonder what you’ve done wrong.

Why?

Because narcissists love control, they want to appear the victim while you fight your way through another, seeing the cracks they’ve caused within you.

It’s frustrating. It’s hurtful. It’s unjust.

Check out these nine ways narcissists turn people against you.

#1 The Smear Campaign

When a narcissist feels threatened or rejected, they often launch smear campaigns to tarnish your reputation. 

They do this by spreading lies about you, causing other people to fall into the trap of believing what the narcissist is saying and questioning the person you are. 

Imagine how capable they are of creating these wild half-truths, using their warped imagination to set up a narrative others don’t hesitate to take as gospel. 

These will always paint you negatively, undermining any credibility you’ve worked hard and honestly to achieve. 

This tactic keeps you isolated and locked out of your usual social circles.

It will make you want to fight back and justify yourself, but sometimes, that can make you look even worse to them.

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#2 Acting the Victim

Narcissists are game masters at playing the victim to gain and retain sympathy and support from others.

They will say whatever it takes for their audience to lap up every lie, twist, and discredit. 

They are verbal artists who want to paint a picture for all who will listen.

Do they care what you think? Of course not! If they did, they wouldn’t be narcissists in the first place. 

Many will see you as the aggressor and the narcissist as the innocent party.

This tactic distracts attention from their immoral and painful behavior and allows everybody to find fault and problems with you.

#3 Encouraging you to criticize others

If you criticized everybody else, how long do you think it would take for the word to spread and leave you known as the troublemaker? 

Narcissists have no problem putting words into your mouth and coaxing you to say unkind things about other people if it makes you feel as though you’re part of an important conversation.

The problem won’t stop there, as the narcissist will report back to who you spoke of, blaming you for all the wrong things said.

#4 They Offer ‘Sort of’ Truths

Narcissists treat the truth like an elastic band – it can bend and stretch in many ways.

If you meant well, the narcissist won’t portray it that way to others. If your truths are light and kind, they will tarnish them so that you come off worse. 

They can infer what you ‘really meant’—even if you refute these claims. These mind-boggling skills will turn people against you as they lose trust in your words and actions.

#5 By Exaggerating Your Flaws

We all have flaws, but a narcissist loves to know yours, and they love to dig even deeper to really get to the nitty-gritty of your imperfections.

It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes those really covert narcissists will play on your insecurities because they know how terrible it will make you feel. 

They don’t care – they will go over and over your flaws until they are blue in the face, because with every word comes the -albeit incorrect – knowledge of others that you aren’t the person they thought you were.

You’ll be shocked how many people bite this bait and really change their opinions of you, especially if they spend a lot of time with the narcissist in question.

#6 The Blame Shift

The blame shift is akin to taking something they’ve done wrong and literally handing it to you instead so you don’t have to hold it. 

Why would they do that? They don’t have any sympathy for you and don’t wish to hold onto something so negative and detrimental to their image. 

There’s a hook narcissists sometimes find themselves on, and a way to get off it, is to swap themselves with you.

As long as their reputation is kept safe, that’s all they care about. 

Using this tactic to turn people against you normally works, as it is great at gaining anger and negative momentum in their inaccurate reports of you. 

#7 The Gossip

Narcissists feel most at home surrounded by people who cling on to every word they say.

Being in the center of a gossip circle is their idea of heaven, and they do it because it allows them to point out all the faults and flaws of others, leaving them looking like perfect citizens. 

It’s comforting to a narcissist to use people like you as a target for their slander.

They do it because then they don’t have to talk about themselves or point out their mistakes or flaws – of which there are plenty!

Narcissists want to gain – and they gain well from speaking ill of others. If that’s you, you will receive a knock to your reputation for their temporary gain. 

#8 By Way of Reactive Abuse

Imagine being so calm and collected, then being pushed and prodded until you finally react.

Narcissists are professional pushers, getting you right to the edge with their hurtful words and actions before you turn around and say enough is enough. 

Who would be at fault now?

You!

The narcissist raises their hands in a hapless shrug, “See? I told you so.”

Suddenly, people nod and see that the narcissist is right in the first place. And there you are left – looking like the bad guy.

Reactive abuse is dealt by using your perceived weaknesses. Maybe you aren’t great at something, or you aren’t happy with an aspect of yourself. 

Remember, to everyone else, they don’t see the 999 times the narcissist baited you, they only hear of the 1 time you retaliated. 

#9 Triangulation

When a narcissist brings two people together to pull them apart again purposely, it is known as triangulation.

They see the friendship going well and don’t like it, generally because the connection makes them even more jealous or insecure than they were to begin with, and it simply has to stop. 

The narcissist will turn the third person against you eventually, seeking ways to invalidate you, and leave you feeling in a high state of anxiety or tension.

This can be done in friendship or family circles, so if there is a narcissist in your life, maintaining a level of caution around them is vital if you want to avoid isolation. 

If you feel yourself being more and more isolated from those you care about, ask yourself if you are dealing with a narcissist in your life.

11 Ways Narcs Fool You Into Thinking They Are Not a Narcissist

Narcissists are pure masters of disguise who will fool you into thinking they’re caring and confident souls who care deeply.

Beneath that outer charm lies a level of selfishness you won’t comprehend.

 How do they pull it off? 

Well, narcissists use very clever tactics to hide their true nature, making you believe they’re not who they really are. 

So, by the time you realize the truth, it will be too late. 

Allow me to uncover everything…

The Fool’s Game

The game of fools was invented by one.

Being fooled by a narcissist is nothing to be ashamed of, yet so many people feel that when they realize what’s going on. 

If you can see a good side to somebody toxic, they will ensure you never see their bad side. 

11 Ways Narcissists Fool You Into Thinking They Aren’t a Narcissist

#1 Charming First Impressions

You know the narcissist to be everything that destroys mental well-being. Each time you hear the word ‘toxic,’ you think about all the punishing ways people under the spell of narcissism are treated. 

The insults.

The mocking.

The anger.

The silent treatment.

The control.

The lack of accountability.

The invisible apologies.

So it’s no wonder the charming illusion can knock a person right into next week.

You aren’t a fool for falling for the charm, but you’d be a fool to stay once you uncover the truth. 

#2 Selective Generosity 

One minute, they love to shower you with gifts and treat you like royalty. The next, they pull everything away from you and act as though you’re nothing but a pain to them. 

It’s like offering you a safe space to sit in, and then unleashing a dozen tigers into that space.

You think you’re okay until they prove you’re not – and it’s all caused by them.

Eventually, feeling safe will become less and less frequent, and feeling unsafe will be where you are most likely to remain. 

Those moments you do feel safe will be when they try to show you how genuine and authentic they are…

…Don’t buy it!

#3 Playing the Victim

Narcissists are known for being the kind of person where nothing wins against them.

Believe me when I say that they’re so capable of playing the victim, it’s unreal.

They will stop an entire village of people working if it means they get the kind of attention they;re searching for. 

So there you are, trying to see them as evil and awful, but they’re so good at proving otherwise in a single moment.

Their eyes are full of sadness, and their tails drop – they’re like a dog without a treat.

But they’re still a narcissist!

#4 The Magic Mirror!

You’ll be swept away into a sea of blissful unawareness, and all the while, you feel like you ‘have so much in common with them!’ This is called mirroring.

Oh wow, you like that band? I’ve seen them five times in concert!

I thought I was the only person who loved peanut butter and banana on toast!

I love that you love those values. For me, it’s exactly the same. We are so alike. 

The narcissist will do what they can to make it seem like you’re two peas in a pod. It’s how you fall in love…

…And into their trap!

#5 Blaming Others

Hey. I’m the innocent guy here!

It’s not me. It’s everybody else.

I’m just trying my best to do what I can.

If you were to adhere to these statements, you’re likely to give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, maybe even feeling sorry for them!

And you can’t feel sorry for somebody so toxic, which means they can’t be a narcissist, right?

Right?

WRONG!

#6 The Emotional Rollercoaster That Is

Now, I need you to read this clearly:

If a narcissist was bad all the time, there would be no appeal.

Did you get that?

Emotional rollercoasters are how you stay seated in an environment that you should be leaving.

With every three negative things that happen, you’ll get one, which is a great thing. That’s how the narcissist plays you and how they keep you. 

Narcissists will convince you that toxic people are always toxic – and prove they aren’t by a false kind of positive for you. 

Don’t buy it.

#7 Strategic Compliments: Lower Your Guard

Every now and then, if you receive warm, kind and loving words from the narcissist, they will be able to cover their tracks and keep you fooled.

Oh, you look beautiful. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I love you so much, you mean everything to me.

How can they be a narcissist, when they’re so full of love and affection?

Easily…

It’s fake.

Do not lower your guard.

#8 Questioning Yourself

Hey, I think you’re acting a little crazy. 

Do you think it’s worth asking yourself if you really feel that way? It seems so unlike you.

If a narcissist wants you to self-reflect, it’s because they’re trying to convince you to see yourself one way only. 

The way they want you to see yourself (which is always negative).

#9 “You Don’t Need Anybody!” – Creating Dependency

Fooling you into believing you don’t need anybody other than them is a dangerous game. Many narcissists are successful in this, isolating their victims until they can fully take charge of their thoughts and feelings. 

Do this!

Don’t do this!

Don’t speak to that person. You’re too good for them.

I don’t like you speaking to the neighbors. They’re nosey.

I don’t like how your mom treats you like a baby. It’s time to cut her off.

I could go on and on.

It serves to do one thing:

Cut you off and cause you to be dependent on just the narcissist.

This is fooling you in a way that makes you think they have your best interests at heart…

…They really don’t!

#10 Fear Via Control

A narcissist will ask you what you’re scared of, and present you with that very thing just so they can protect you from it.

Read that again.

The narcissist wants to save the day. They want to be the ones you run and cling to.

Little do you know that they caused the problem or the fear in the first place. 

When you experience the very fear they create – ask yourself if you are being saved or if you’re being fooled.

#11 The Perfect Image

The perfect image does exist for those who refuse to dig under the surface. 

Narcissists have a surface that is coated with perfection. They love to be the ones everybody gravitates toward, and you’re left thinking, “This person has it all. They’re so liked and amazing!”

Of course, they aren’t.

But that’s all part of their plan to fool you even more!