You’re dying to get to the bottom of it, aren’t you? You’re desperate to know why the narcissist is so hateful toward you.
Why they sneer at you the moment you smile, and what kind of sick thoughts cross their mind the more they get to know you.
Narcissists would answer honestly, if they had the courage. I’ve got 9 things they would say the moment you ask them why they hate you so much.
I think we can agree – this will be interesting!
#1 “You were like my new shiny toy at the beginning”
At first, everything seemed so amazing, didn’t it? I think you can probably reflect and agree that those initial moments with the narcissist felt like magic.
The spark was there, the appreciation was obvious, and the affection matched the passion.
You were nothing but a novelty.
You were fun and exciting, until you weren’t. The moment that changed was the moment they realized they had you under emotional lock and key, but now all you seem to do is fit the role of serving them and fixing their problems.
What about you? When do you get to matter?
I hate to say it, but you never will.
#2 “Because you tricked me!”
Okay, so it was all your fault then… Make it make sense!
The narcissist wants to honestly tell you that you didn’t live up to the version of them that they’d created.
You broke the rules. You learned to defend yourself. Your strength overrode their control. They hate you for that because their plan backfired.
And now? Well, you’re nothing but an inconvenience.
We all know what rubbish this really is. To be punished for having boundaries and for awakening to who they are is not your problem, it’s the thing that opened your eyes to the abuse.
It’s just a shame for them that they’re not in charge any more.
#3 “Well, I lack empathy”
Simple, when it all comes down to it. Empathy is not a quality that any narcissist has the ability to hold.
They simply cannot for the life of them relate to others. They can’t feel the pain others feel, or soothe and support them when they’re in pain.
In doing any of those things, they’re handing somebody else the attention, having to temporarily dim their own light.
Never going to happen.
On top of that, they have to delve into emotions they are really uncomfortable with, being vulnerable too.
Repeat after me again: never going to happen.
#4 “You started expressing yourself”
How dare you be who you are? How dare you express yourself?
The way you dress, the music you listen to, the decor of your home, the books you like to read, the art you like to produce, the shows you like to watch; do you know how much it all makes the narcissist hate you?
Before you say anything, I know it sounds crazy. That’s because it is. Why can’t you be yourself around the people you love (and who say they love you)?
Narcissists are so good at triggering shame in people who dare express themselves.
They just want them to be quiet, be invisible, and obey. Real shame can be felt in those who try, but guess what? Real self-expression is impossible for narcissists.
They don’t know how to be themselves, in case they get rejected and mocked.
They’d sooner pretend, then nobody can hurt them.
You seem fearless about wanting to express yourself, which they hate.
#5 “I hate myself deep down”
The self-loathing a narcissist feels is exactly why they hate you. If they could be honest with you, they’d tell you that they hate you because hate is all they’re filled with.
That’s why they wear a mask and that’s why they convince you to hate yourself, too.
How heavy it must feel for them to watch you enjoy your own space and company.
How terrible it must be to know they can’t find a single thing they genuinely like about themselves.
So the mask goes on, and they spend every waking moment pretending.
#6 “When you call me out, you disrupt my facade”
You’ve got to hand it to yourself. Calling a narcissist out is one of the most satisfying things to do, even though it doesn’t go down well at all.
There’s something pretty special about speaking the truth, even after potentially a long time denying it.
When you do? The narcissist struggles to hide their facade. They can’t keep pretending when you’re shining a light so obviously on their flaws and toxic character.
You become a constant reminder of who the narcissist truly is, and that’s the very character they never want to see.
Ask them why they hate you so much, and you’ll get, “Because you remind me of the truth, and you sit in it so unwaveringly.”
#7 “You became a threat to me”
A large threat on a large scale, am I right? For whatever reason, you became bigger than they are.
You tore apart the rulebook and replaced it with fairness and justice. You saw the narcissist as a problem, not a person, and you stand up for yourself whenever you need to.
That should be congratulated, but of course, the narcissist will only see you as a threat to them, their ego, and their manipulative games.
This isn’t a bad thing, although that’s where they will try to convince you that it is.
#8 “I thought you could serve me, but all my problems kept coming back”
They thought you were the silver lining to their dark cloud. They thought you were the glitter they could roll their metaphorical turd in.
In other words, they wanted you to obey every command they have for an easy life of being in control, and you didn’t.
In reality, all the problems the narcissist had (with themselves) kept coming back to bite them on the butt, and that’s now ’your fault.’
Correction: it’s not your fault at all. Believing it is, is what gets you in the emotional distress you always find yourself in.
#9 “You have all the qualities I lack but wish I had”
The worst one of all to the narcissist – you have everything they wish they could have and more.
You light up a room when you walk into it just by being your warm self. You are there for the people you love with no condition, and you love fiercely, openly and honestly.
You are what the narcissist wishes they could be by nature, but instead they have to work extra hard at pretending to even come close.
Your qualities see you to be a trusted and kind person, of whom people go to in their hour of need.
You don’t mind making mistakes because you know that nobody is perfect.
You love your hobbies, no matter what they are. You find joy in the small things in life.
You’re okay with being you.
The narcissist only wishes they could come somewhere remotely close to you, but they never have, and they never will.
