I know it’s tempting to want to get revenge on the narcissist, after all, they caused you so much pain and grief.
There will be large parts of you that want to get back at them for what they did to you.
I beg you… don’t.
I’ve got 9 ways that feel even better than having your revenge on the narcissist.
They are all so much more satisfying! Give them a try, and do them with a huge smile on your face.
#1 Getting a new job
Remember when they told you to quit altogether and stay at home doing nothing, even though you wanted to work?
Now, none of that matters. You are the one in charge now, and you will never let anybody take over again like that.
Remember all the times the narcissist said you’d never be able to work in that kind of job?
You get to decide where you work, and that’s a huge thing when it comes to being financially independent and what you want from life.
Rather than seek revenge, seek opportunities to grow and be a better person.
You won’t regret it a single bit.
#2 Claiming your hobbies back
Those hobbies that were seen as dumb, lame, a waste of time, pathetic, childish, annoying or whatever else the narcissist called them are now yours to reclaim.
This is so empowering because hobbies are what should bring us joy and fulfillment. That’s the entire point of hobbies.
Now you are without the narcissist, you can finally pick them back up again and make a promise to yourself that nobody will ever take them from you again.
#3 Making new friends
The thought of you making friends sent the narcissist into a frantic, fearful frenzy.
They would have hated you going out and seeking new connections, because every one of them would have been a threat to them.
The less people you knew and saw, the more isolated you’d have been. The more likely the narcissist would’ve been to keep you under emotional lock and key.
Now you can go out and make friends wherever you want, which has to be better than taking direct revenge on the person who made you feel so alone.
Classes, hobbies, local community groups and volunteering are great ways to meet new people, and when the right thing comes along that fits your groove, you will see new faces that will have the potential to form brand new support networks for you.
#4 Speaking to loved ones you were isolated from
As if making new friends wasn’t tempting enough, now you get to look back on those you lost touch with and get back in touch with them.
Perhaps you were pulled away from them in the past, and they tried to keep you in their lives but it was made difficult by the ignorant narcissist.
Now that’s irrelevant, you can reach out and explain your situation, and find that closeness once more.
I think this is a very special way of healing a part of you the narcissist broke.
They were intent on ruining everything, but actually, most things can be repaired.
This is the perfect example of that. Those you missed will be there, and when the time is right, allowing them time to understand what you went through will help them understand why you seemed to withdraw from the dynamic you once shared.
#5 Getting that glow up
Before you assume I mean slap on a little lipstick and give your neck a little love from your favorite perfume, I mean so much more than both of those things.
For starters, a glow up is anything you do for you that is good for you.
Whatever makes you glow from the inside out is exactly what you want to achieve, and I promise all of it will be better than getting direct revenge on the narcissist.
It is a form of success to be on form, and that form has to come from you and what you want from life.
So start thinking about how to shift your focus from them, to you. It will all be worth it.
You’ll find that any glow up will awaken your confidence, which you deserve after all that time under their thumb.
#6 Travelling
Narcissists don’t all want to see the world, and those who do, will want you to come along only on their terms.
You’ll go where they want, to see the sights they want to see, when they want to see them.
If you’ve been sick of sticking to their itinerary (or no itinerary at all), it’s time to dust off your passport and get your visas sorted.
You don’t even have to travel that far, I mean, where is your nearest city, and how well do you know it?
Getting out into the world and exploring the beauty of it will teach you that it’s not the big, scary place the narcissist had you thinking it was.
When you’re out there making friends and having fun, the narcissist will be shocked to their hollow core that you’re making the time count.
After all, time with them was totally wasted. Now you get to embrace it.
#7 Moving to a fresh new place (for good reasons)
I never want to encourage people to run away from their problems, but I do like to talk about how healthy it can be for a fresh start somewhere, if the reasons are good enough.
A prime example here would be you always wanting a certain job in a certain place, but never being able under the narcissist’s control to do anything about it.
And now? If you’ve broken up, or are ready to do it anyway, don’t let them stop you.
A fresh start can be exactly what a person needs, and it’s so much better than plotting revenge on the narcissist.
A life well lived is the best kind of success.
#8 Making your place your own
When your past has given you nothing but four simple walls to live in, you want to start building a real home.
That can come as you begin to unearth your identity and figure out what exactly it is you really love.
Blue walls, sky lights, beach art; whatever you want can make where you live feel like an extension of you.
It’s easy to underestimate celebrating something like that, so I am making a point of saying how much better it is than getting your revenge.
#9 Loving yourself
And we end with probably the winner of all winners – loving yourself.
How could anybody take that away from another? Well, they can, and they do.
And those kinds of people only really become smaller than they claim to be when you are living a life that they can’t touch or manipulate.
If you love yourself and refuse to let that go, then that’s the best kind of revenge you can do.
Everything else comes after loving yourself, which is why it is such a strong, foundational tool to use, and why it feels so good to do.
