When you break up with a narcissist, don’t think for a second you’re going to see them off in silence.
While you might not have much else left to say, you can bet the narcissist has so much.
In fact, let’s spend today talking about the 9 things narcissists say when you break up with them.
I wonder how many you’ve heard in your lifetime.
Just know that when you hear these phrases, it doesn’t mean you should be reacting, or letting them back into your life in any way!
#1 “…and?”
The unbothered response of, “…so?” is always said so convincingly by a narcissist when they are trying to convey how much they don’t care.
The biggest way you can show them that you don’t care is by breaking up with them, so in their mind, if you can’t beat them, join them.
Even though the panic will be strong within their egotistical personas, narcissists have to act this way to save face, and to keep themselves framed as the person who you need more than they need you.
That doesn’t mean what they frame is true…
#2 “You beat me to it”
Oh really? Somehow, I just don’t think so. The narcissist would beg to differ, claiming to have been waiting for the right time to break up with you.
I just wanted to make sure I picked a good time.
You know, I’ve been thinking exactly the same.
Thank God we are on the same page.
Isn’t it funny how all of a sudden you are presented with this response, when the narcissist has shown no indication that they wanted to end things.
In fact, now you’ve laid your thoughts on the line, the narcissist is the one who is speeding up the process, and for the first time ever, in agreement with you to end things.
#3 “You’ll regret the day you dumped me”
Nothing like some moderate intimidation while you’re feeling extra empowered, is there?
A narcissist wouldn’t be a narcissist if they didn’t try and drag you down on your good days, and that’s the sad reality of what might happen here.
Breaking up with them would have taken you a long time to build that kind of courage.
As soon as you feel it and say those words, they will hit back with a reminder that they think they’re powerful.
Don’t listen to them, because dumping them will cause no regret from you.
If you believe otherwise, you’re more likely to stay even when you know you need to get out.
#4 “I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done”
First off, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done” isn’t an apology. It’s a get out of jail free card.
You can’t wash over every bad thing you put somebody through with one apology.
It offers no accountability or real remorse, but narcissists love to give it a try. You’d be surprised how many people accept it and stay together, thinking they’ve been respected in some weird way.
That’s not what’s happening here. What you’re seeing instead is somebody who is trying their best to apply damage control.
If you’re sick of them not saying sorry, here, have a fat, juicy one that covers everything!
Well… that’s not actually how it works. They know it, and now you need to know it, too.
#5 “F**k you”
Why don’t you tell us how you really feel, eh, narcissist?
It’s standard for a lot of narcissists though, to just dismiss you with a wave of their hand.
Yea, yeah. Whatever. F you. I don’t give a s**t.
Deep down, you know that’s probably not the case, but they won’t want to express their anger or fear publicly, so this is what you get instead.
Just because a narcissist says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true.
This is one of those occasions where their f**k you might make you think you’re worthless, but you’re not.
That’s just what they want you to believe, so that your walk away from them is slightly tainted with self-consciousness.
#6 “I can’t believe they broke up with me”
The shock! The horror! The surprise!
The narcissist’s jaw drops to the ground as you walk away, and they’re left picking up the pieces of their hollow shell.
You left them! How dare you? Don’t you know who they are?! You should!
The audacity that you were the one who broke the relationship apart will hit the narcissist like a ton of bricks.
After all this time together, they worked hard to ensure you never had that kind of gumption.
When you do decide to leave, the narcissist won’t be able to hide their true feelings, and they won’t believe you left them.
Doesn’t this scream ego to you all?
Who in their right minds would ever think they can abuse somebody and still be shocked when that person decides enough is enough?
#7 “I am so relieved. They were so abusive”
The news of you leaving the narcissist will spread across town like wildfire, and it will be them doing the spreading.
Why?
Because they want to get it in quickly that they’re a victim, and that you were the one who left them high and dry.
In fact, your moves resemble that of a real abuser, so hey, if the shoe fits, you can wear them!
This distracts heavily from the reality that you left a narcissist who stole your very joy and being.
You will have a hard time convincing anybody that you were the innocent party in all of this, as narcissists are brilliant at smear campaigns.
I hate to say it, but you may have to swallow your pride and just get on with your life on this occasion.
The right people will believe you, and everybody else has to be let go of.
#8 “You can’t have your stuff”
This is where things can get so childish. The narcissist will want any kind of revenge possible, so if you’ve told them you’re leaving, expect a snipe-fuelled comment such as this to be fired your way.
You aren’t having any of your stuff back!
Okay… Well then there’s going to be a problem, isn’t there? And that’s precisely what the narcissist wants.
Grappling with getting your belongings back will be considered by the narcissist as your punishment for daring to leave them.
If you feel you’re so much better off without them, then you can forget getting your favorite shirt and DVD collection back.
#9 “You owe me”
What do you owe the narcissist? Suddenly they will pull out a list of all the times you borrowed money, or took from them.
They won’t want you getting away with leaving them knowing that you are somehow in debt to them.
You will think you aren’t, after all, you didn’t take anything at all.
For the times they treated you, you certainly were not told you had to one day repay them. But now you’re leaving? That’s a different story!
You owe me money for that dress I got you last month!
You owe me half of that weekend away I treated you to in the summer!
No you don’t.
