Narcissists have a great way of determining how we feel, and when that feeling is ‘stupid,’ you just know you are dealing with somebody toxic.
Why else would somebody be so hellbent on turning your smile to a frown?
When you widen your eyes to their abuse, narcissists’ power can be taken from them thick and fast.
This is because your awareness can shift how you are treated.
Let’s look at 9 things narcissists do to make you feel stupid, and see if you can use them to help you feel more powerful, and less dumb.
#1 Talks over you
When a narcissist talks over you, it’s painfully clear you’re dealing with somebody who doesn’t truly care what you have to say.
The hardest part of trying to use your voice even just to speak innocently is that there is always somebody willing to drown you out if they are toxic.
Narcissists love doing this, and the more they push for this dynamic, the more successful they will become in silencing you into feeling stupid.
You start off speaking, or responding to who you’re talking with. You smile, and your eyes widen as it’s your turn to talk. You open your mouth:
Oh yes – I really –
Well, for me, personally, I –
I think I’ve heard of that. Is it –
I know what you mean. I –
You don’t get to even slightly finish what you want to say, because guess what?
The narcissist talks over you. Even when you’re directing your words at them, they don’t care enough to let you finish.
They are too full of their own hot air to care what you have to say. Their voice drowns you out, and makes you feel stupid time and time again.
#2 Mocks you in public
Being mocked in public is far from the joke the narcissist treats it as. Muttering something to stop you in your tracks is horrible.
Your cheeks flush, your blood rushes to your chest, you feel look around at other people who may be smiling or laughing along.
The mockery is perfected by the narcissist, and of course, what other choice is there for you to feel other than plain old stupid?
You are th butt of yet another joke, it’s no wonder you’ve been left feeling like a fool, and that’s exactly what the narcissist was hoping for.
#3 Mocks you in private
Private mocking is a whole other game narcissists play, and it’s actually worse than public mockery in a way.
Any mocking is pretty bad, but there’s something terrible about the satisfaction narcissists get without the crowd they usually rely on to feed their frail ego.
Usually, they’d love an audience, but when it’s just them and you, the mocking feels darker.
It’s personal. It’s between you and them, and they know they can say whatever they want.
Then what? Then things get really cruel, and you’ve got nobody around to witness it.
For the narcissist, they love what goes on behind closed doors, and you end up feeling stupid.
#4 Talks about your finances to others
Your finances should be private, and you trusted the narcissist with information about yours.
Perhaps they know your outgoings and incomings, or maybe you went to them for advice.
The problem isn’t that, that problem is that you trusted the narcissist with this information.
Of course they’re going to tell the world your financial situation, and if it’s bad or if you needed help with a matter, the narcissist can and will make you look foolish for even trying to figure it all out.
As they talk to others, those people will be given the impression that you’re stupid when in fact, it couldn’t be further from the truth.
#5 Lies…then gaslights
We all know just how capable narcissists are of lying. They lie behind your back, as well as to your face.
The worst part is how convincing they are when they try to gaslight you, which is a strong and powerful form of lying.
Narcissists will want you to be convinced of a truth that they conjured up, just so it makes you look stupid, and them look like the self-righteous one.
You know you get so sensitive, right?
No, you didn’t leave your keys on the table.
It didn’t happen like that.
On reflection, a person who experiences gaslighting can feel so stupid when they look back on what they fell for.
In truth, the narcissist is a professional abuser, and they can confuse you so well.
That’s not your fault, and you aren’t stupid at all for falling for any of their dirty tricks.
#6 Keeps you from knowing certain information
Certain information can come to light, but if the narcissist has their way, they will keep you in the dark for certain elements of it if it means they get to come out winning in some way.
When the time comes for that information to come to light, you will be non-the-wiser.
Oh, didn’t you know?
Did you not think that might be the case?
No, you didn’t. Why? Because certain – and probable crucial elements – were kept from you.
That doesn’t make you stupid, but it can be a way narcissists make you feel it.
#7 Makes alliances without you
When a narcissist makes alliances with you, it’s as if they are building their own special, toxic team away from you.
Friends are never truly friends where a narcissist is concerned, but let me tell you, they can look and sound like the real thing.
Private jokes and little laughs around you can leave you feeling socially isolated, and stupid when the narcissist targets you as the clueless one.
They have no idea what we are talking about!
No, you don’t. That’s exactly where they want you; on the receiving end of yet another joke you so obviously and understandably don’t understand.
#8 Makes decisions for you
A narcissist will impose their view on you at all times, but more than that, they will want those views imposed on you, too.
Making decisions for you will give you no power or say, and when a person has neither of those two things, they feel helpless and at times, stupid.
Leave it with me.
Don’t worry, this is way past your station of intellect.
Hold your horses there, narcissist!
More people should be aware of what being silenced really can do to a person. It’s no wonder you’d feel stupid in those circumstances.
#9 Tells you that you are stupid
When all else fails, a narcissist won’t mind telling you that you are stupid.
This direct approach is bound to make you on the receiving end, feeling dumb in some way.
I’m here to remind you that it’s not right to be called names, and it’s also not right to believe any of it.
Just because somebody tells you something, it doesn’t mean you have to believe it. This is a way for you to just be boxed up in the package they want you to feel at home in.
Nobody should feel at home is fake stupidity, lease of all you.
