Break ups hurt, I’ll give you that. They really cause the kind of pain that you don’t want to go through if you can help it, but part of life is parting ways.
Where narcissists are concerned, parting ways can prove to be a huge source of relief for you, the victim.
Your future is before you, but not before the narcissist pulls out their final tricks.
Whether one, several or all, prepare for these 9 things narcissists do after a breakup.
#1 They replace you instantly
Whoever thought it’d be so easy for a narcissist to replace you straight after you’ve broken up.
The ned is barely cold, and the coffee still has a little steam coming off what’s left of it in your cup at their place
Yet, the breakup happened, and already they’re lining up another unsuspecting victim.
And they really are unsuspecting, aren’t they? Can you even imagine for a moment what they’re going to have to go through?
All the pain, misery and false promises are to come, and they have absolutely no idea.
Yet here the narcissist is, getting their ducks all in a row ready for another toxic chapter in their life. It has nothing to do, sure.
But you will probably ask yourself, “How special was I if they already have somebody new ready to take my place?”
I’ll tell you why. The narcissist knows eventually that they will need to have a replacement ready to take over.
If they wait until you’ve broken up, there will be a period of time they’ll be alone…
…Worst nightmare for them!
So, they get them ready and waiting in the weeds. And it says so much more about them and their insecurities than it does you.
#2 They flip the script
The break up? Oh that was totally your fault. You were an awful person, almost narcissistic.
You had a bad temper, and never treated them with respect. You exuded impatience, and you went silent for no reason, causing them to worry they’d done something wrong.
You came and went as you pleased, and you gave the relationship a lot of promise, but you never fulfilled any of them. In fact, did you even love them at all?!
Yeah, look what I did there. Flipping the script proves to everybody else (without evidence) that you were the one who was abusive.
The narcissist doesn’t want anybody to catch on that in fact, they were the abuser in all of this.
If they can flip the narrative, they will escape blame and can act the victim all they want to!
Hey, I never promised you this list was going to be fair.
#3 They flaunt somebody new online
Online is the place where all the narcissist’s people are in one place. It’s the perfect time to flaunt somebody new so they all get the breaking news in real time.
And if you’re really unlucky, you’ll still be friends with them and will see it, too.
Again, this kind of move acts to serve you a real air of “I wasn’t good enough,” but in truth, they just want to save face.
They want to look like you’re missing out on their company, but also they’re proving they can find somebody new and ‘love them’ because they’re just that nice.
Yeah. Right. Oh look, a flying pig.
#4 The silent stalking
You think it;s all over, and for you, it is. You’re moving on, and feeling good about it.
Lurking in the darkness is the narcissist. Your ex, the one who you are no longer with, is stalking you.
Whether that be in person or online, they love to know what you’re up to, how you’re feeling, what you’re doing, who you’re spending time with, where you are, and how the breakup has affected you.
Is it strange? I mean, do you even need me to answer that? Nobody should be stalking anybody, but hey, this is exactly how the narcissist continues to try to exert their power over you.
And you being blissfully unaware of their stalking only adds to the excitement for them.
#5 Love-bomb? Sure, why not?
Well, what have they got to lose? If they can love-bomb you the way they always do – the way that always works – perhaps you’ll come back and they can gain that control back.
They miss it.
They don’t miss you.
After a break up, expect to hear messages of love, see offers or gifts come to you, see the narcissist try to get you back on side.
If you fail to take the bait, then good for you! You should know by now what a wicked game this is.
And if you’re tempted to be pulled back in, I beg of you, please reconsider for your own benefit.
#6 They never really disappear
Somehow you notice your friends mentioning the narcissist. They saw them in passing, they got a comment or like online, they asked how you were…
The same could be said for family members. They sign up to your gym, or they start walking your route to work and back every day.
They just never seem to go away. And even when they aren’t there in person, your experience with them takes up all your thought as you enter this new phase alone, without them.
Believe me – you can do this!
#7 They act like they don’t care
Narcissists are great at acting. If they want you to think they don’t care, that’s exactly how they will come across to you. Do you know what that means?
It means they want to prove to you that you never matter to them. They want to squash all those promises they made to you, knowing you were hoping they were all true.
They want to give you another reason to believe you’re not good enough, or that you aren’t lovable.
When in fact, of course you are.
#8 They turn your name into mud
For whatever reason, the smear campaign will start. And it can be as simple as the narcissist saying, “Stay away from them, all I can say is that they’re trouble.”
Suddenly, your text messages start to go cold, and people cross the road to avoid you in the street.
You realize you’re being isolated by the narcissist because of the breakup, and you want to know what’s been said .The more you dig, the more guilty you look.
It’s common, I’ll tell you that. So common that people have had to learn how to toughen up and take it all on the chin because there really is no other way to handle it.
#9 They take their time getting the official things done
This is a hard one if you have assets or kids with a narcissist. The breakup has happened, and you want it to be over with as soon as possible so you can move on and heal. Only look, there they are stalling.
They stall on divorce proceedings. They stall on trying to sell the house. They stall on getting back to you.
They stall by making demands and insisting they get certain things in your split.
It’s not easy, but you really have to hold your nerve and know that it will all be worth it in the end.
