You might now know it’s coming, but you’re officially on borrowed time. The narcissist has plans up their sleeve, and those plans involve breaking up with you.
When they know what is coming, they’re going to shift in the way they act toward you, and the signs coming from them will be small, almost unnoticed. That is, until now!
You see, it’s better to be aware of the subtle acts of sabotage that the narcissist will pull out the week before they leave you. At least that way, you get to know what’s coming, right?
It’s Happening
If there is a break up looming, it’ll be the making of the future you, have no doubt about it.
Narcissists struggle to find appropriate ways to end a relationship because they don’t want to just come out and say it.
They think if they can sabotage what they’ve got with you, it’ll make both of you moving on a whole lot easier.
So, cue the destruction. They will throw everything they have into making you their biggest problem in as many ways as possible.
Let’s see how!
#1 Picking Petty Fights
The fights are the worst, am I right? You’ve had to tolerate their petty, direct yet indirect ways to goad you into conflict for what feels like forever. Now you’re seeing a huge spike in this, and that increase is noticeable to your wellbeing.
I hear you. It’s the same for a lot of victims of narcissistic abuse. Thoughts like, “What is going on?”, “What am I doing that’s so wrong?”, “Why do they hate me so much?”, all come to mind.
Remember though, that’s your mind, not theirs. They are lying happily, knowing they’re destroying something they no longer want to be a part of.
Narcissists will do this by picking fights with you, and you’ll really know about it.
What are you trying to imply?
Why are you acting up?
What is wrong with you tonight?
Why won’t you give me a straight answer?
Why are you so quiet?
What time do you call this?
Why did you put onions in this chilli? You know I hate them.
On and on, no matter what you’re doing. That fight, if they want it to happen, is going to be dug out of you with such force that you’re going to feel cornered and trapped into responding.
Then, guess what?
We are fighting so much.
I can’t be with somebody I am always arguing with.
I just want to leave and feel at peace again.
Not only will the fights increase, but so will your anxiety about the fights, after all, they’re the last thing you want.
#2 A Spike in Public Criticism
When you think it can’t get any worse for you, it can. Where criticism is concerned, a narcissist is going to have a field day with you, especially in public.
You’ll think you’re enjoying a nice day together, but it will come laced with moments where you just want the ground to swallow you up whole.
And you know what the biggest shame is? That the narcissist has no shame.
They really don’t. They will lay it thick on you to make you dread going anywhere with them.That’s the exact definition of self-sabotage.
When the break up ultimately happens, they’re left ending it, and you’re (hopefully, to them), left thinking, “Thank God for that.”
#3 Flirting With Zero Shame
Flirting is the best part for the narcissist! Why should they flirt with you if they’re planning on leaving you?
The beauty of being able to flirt (in their eyes) is that it opens doors for new relationships that come after you.
Imagine being so toxic and delusional that you feel you’re lining your ducks up in a row before you’ve even got to the pond yet. That’s what they do, and there will be no guilt involved in any of it.
If you’ve been stuck with a narcissist for some time, this is their way of starting to blow off steam, and they haven’t even walked out the door yet.
#4 Last Minute Grab of Funds
If there’s money to be had, they’re going to take it while on their way out. If it’s yours, they won’t care at all.
Your funds will be accessible to them because they will know the ins and outs of everything, passwords and all!
Leaving you means they need to scrap everything that’s good from it all before they take that final bow, so they can set themselves up nicely in the next chapter of their pathetic lives.
It’s a warning to you to lock your finances, change your passwords and cancel cards if you need to.
#5 Where Are Your Items Disappearing To?
Honestly, do you even know where that watch went? Or what about your laptop? The rare CD you know is worth a fortune? No – that’s because the narcissist is stashing them all away.
Now, these are going to be used for one of a few things. Yes, they could sell them and get a little money on the side from you after they leave you. But, what can also happen is that these items are used as bait or blackmail.
Meet me and I will give them to you.
Tell people that you left me, or I will destroy them.
You can’t have them unless you agree to stay friends with me.
Whatever the request, it will be something that works in their favor, not yours.
#6 Texts Thick With Guilt
Text messages are a strong way for narcissists to misbehave. They can be as cutting and cruel as they want to, knowing it doesn’t matter anyway because in a week or two, you guys will be a thing of the past.
If you’re being made to feel bad, it’s time to ask yourself who is really in the wrong here.
I promise you one thing; it isn’t you.
#7 Telling You What They Really Think: 2.0
When you thought their nastiness couldn’t reach a level any higher, they go and dive up into the sky and tell you what they really think even more directly.
The criticisms get worse, the heckling gets more frequent, the way they hurt you with a ‘truth you need to know’, it’s all uncalled for.
It’s a very horrible way of pushing you further in distance, and they will not stop until it’s time to leave.
#8 Burning Wider Bridges
Being mean about your friends, speaking unkindly about your family, and not attending important things you usually attend together are all ways the narcissist will burn bridges before burning that final one – you – at the end of your relationship.
It makes it easier for them to slide away into the past when they’ve pretty much walked away not just from you, but from your whole lives together.
If you’re careful, you can easily spot this happening.
#9 A Shift In Routine
Routines are usually pretty rigid with narcissists. They love doing what they do, and watching you tag along for the ride.
When that routine starts to shift, it’s because narcissists are trying to carve out a new pattern for when they leave you.
Maybe that looks like a new gym, or a different walk to work meaning a different chain of coffee shops to talk with people in. Kissing goodbye to you leaves them wide open for a brand new life in all aspects.
